One More Chance
I remember the day all too well… the day I lost my one, true love. Many came to know her as Joan of Arc, but to me… she would always be my Jeanne. May 30. That was the anniversary. I'll never forget… standing there, helpless. Watching as my love burned away with the ashes. She drifted in the air, away from me, like delicate petals in the breeze… Through the tears, I tried to reach out for them, to take them for my own. But… they drifted away in the sunlight. I remember watching her, free and beautiful, the way she had always been. It seems ridiculous… but I still hope she'll return to me. Because I love her. I never stopped loving her…
She was by my side when Britain was still holding control over me… She fought for me. She was always ready to be by my side, to march into battle with me. She was born to a simple life… but she grew to be something great. I know God created her for something amazing. That is why even Holy Rome deemed her a saint. My Jeanne… my one true love.
Even now, on the anniversary of her death, I kneel at her grave and place white lilies here for her. If I listen closely, I can still hear her beautiful voice. Hot tears begin to leave my eyes. I imagine her reaching out to dry them from my cheeks, but when I open my eyes, I realize that it was only my imagination. I've learned this long ago… so when I start to feel her hand on my cheek, I simply let my eyes stay closed and lean into her gentle, ghostly touch. I whisper to her, "I love you." In my mind, while the world is dark, I can hear her whisper back, "I love you too."
But fate has a cruel way of catching up to you. Because when I open my eyes… I see her gravestone. She wasn't allowed a proper burial. She was burned at the steak. I know her body doesn't lie here, but I still wanted a place I could come to feel close to her. I had this grave made, placing the remainder of her ashes here for me to return to when I had a longing to see her again. Sometimes, I come to tell her how the last meeting went, or how things are going in the world today. I feel sick with nostalgia, wanting her back so badly that my heart aches with such longing.
The hardest thing is always saying goodbye. I kiss my fingers, then leave them on the gravestone for a while before finally rising to leave. It's always the anniversary that I am afflicted with the same pain as when I watched her burned alive. I hate myself for it. I was so helpless. I couldn't do anything for her. I promised I would repay her for all she'd done for me. But in the end… it was all a façade. I was only fooling myself.
I never thought I could smile again since that day. True, I can put on a mask for the others. I'm the flirtatious one who's always cracking jokes, flirting with the other countries at meetings. But it's all to mask the cureless pain that I'm cursed with. And no matter how much I try to block out the pain, I can't forget her. I still love her. And though it may seem ridiculous… I still pray that she will return to me one day.
As I lay my head down on my pillow, I stare at the ceiling and let the tears roll down my face. My heart aches in my chest. I say a prayer out loud, hoping that God above can hear me…
"Lord… you are a God of Second Chances. I was raised to know this, taught this since I was a child. If this is true… please give me one more chance with Jeanne. I want to give her all the love I could possibly give… I want to hold her in my arms again. I want to show her what it's like for someone to fight to protect her, instead of having her fight to protect me instead. Please, God… let me hold her one last time. Let me tell her how much I really love her…"
I bite back the urge to sob, knowing tears won't bring her back. I toss and turn in my bed, trying in vain to sleep. But I can't stop thinking about her. I love her… I love her… I love her…
"God… Please tell Jeanne that I love her... And tell her I'm sorry I could not protect her the way I should have…
"God… If you can hear me… Please give me one more chance."
A/N: After reading the history of Joan of Arc, and finding little note of her relationship with France in Hetalia, I just hat to write a story myself. For the time being, I'll leave it here. But please, if you want me to continue, write in the reviews!