This is part three of my Final Fantasy XIII storyline. As with before, you do not have to have read Seraph's Tears or Survivor's Guilt to understand this story. However, if you are not familiar with FFXIII or are in the process of playing the games, this story contains spoilers for the ending of the trilogy.
Hope you all enjoy, and please stick around for the author's note at the end. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Some of the direct English quotes have been edited to also similarly match the Japanese text. I do not own FFXIII.
Salvation's Gift
I am not alone.
It took earth shattering battles, hundreds of years, and losing myself to realize it, but I know it now.
These past thirteen days, running all over creation, fulfilling last wishes, and witnessing the end of the world, I thought I was finally doing something good. People won't suffer because of me anymore; their souls would be safe. And here, at the cusp of the end, their essences would find safe haven in the new world, reborn, free from trials.
Or so I was told. Of course, take someone as desperate for redemption as me, turn their world upside down, and tell them empty promises and well woven lies, and you can get anyone to do anything.
Bhunivelze played me for a fool. By making Hope play devil's advocate, condemning him to death, using him to get close to my heart, I almost fell for it. Desperation will do that; play with what hope you have left, lead you to believe in falsities.
But I am not alone.
From what providence, I know not, I was blessed with friends…with family. These select few know the hell I've been through. They've seen when I was broken, angry, vulnerable, and I, them. We walked side by side through the battlefield, scarred and burnt, but emerged victorious.
We had all sacrificed so much. We deserved happy endings, a new beginning. So I would become the sacrifice they needed. At least they could be happy.
His was the last soul I needed to save. Bhunivelze had nearly destroyed him, absorbing his essence to power himself. But I'd fought his kind before, demons disguised as gods. Cut through the lies, and you find the root.
Hope's soul- innocent, a child dragged into a war, forced to grow up too soon. I could save him. I DID save him. I saved the world. I'd stay in the chaos, keep them all safe, let them live.
"Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone."
The voice called out, pulling at links which once fettered it into my soul.
"Serah?"
"Not quite," my sister replied, ethereal light swirling around her as she sat upon Etro's throne. "Actually, the one really here is…"
Looking at her, sitting in a place that I had resided for centuries, something clicked. It wasn't Serah; it never had been. It was like Lumina had said. All of this was fake, an illusion. No, this place was part of my mind, part of…
"Me!"
Serah's doppelgänger looked up at me now, as I sat in the thrown before her. Acceptance and realization washed over me.
"You're not really her?" Lumina had been right?
"No," she admitted. "I'm just a fake, created to look like Serah. I'm missing something important. Just like you are," she smiled.
"Yes. It's true. He cut part of me away when I woke as the savior…"
"No," she interrupted. "It wasn't Bhunivelze's doing. Do you want to know who it was?" she asked, her voice hinting a tease. "You."
What? Why would I cut Serah out of me? She was my family, the one thing that had pushed me these years. I needed her. Why would I ever get rid of her?
"It happened a long time ago," she said, strutting slowly towards me. "You wanted so much to be strong, like an adult. You wanted to grow up so fast, so you threw away everything that made you weak. You told yourself to be strong, so you'd never have to back down...So no one could ever make you cry. You locked your heart away."
How dare she say that? She had no right. She didn't know the weight I had held on my shoulders, how much it had hurt.
I tried to go at her, set this figment straight, but the chaos weighed me down. Shut up and listen, it seemed to say to the core of my being. It didn't keep me from fighting back though.
"Do you remember? What you tried to do? Do you finally remember the part of you that you killed?"
A shadow drifted from my left side, its source taking away my breath. "You!" Light blue eyes stared back at me, sad, broken. Her face, while familiar, lacked the impish energy it usually had. And here I had thought this girl had looked so much like Serah. Had I really forgotten myself at that age? "You're me. Young…weak…"
"I'm Claire Farron," 'Serah' continued. "Her selfishness, her loneliness, her fear. That little bit of your soul that you couldn't accept. She's the spitting image of you right now, like you belong to the Chaos."
"I have no choice," I argued. "Someone has to stay behind, to keep this new world going."
"And that's how you hide your true feelings," she said, coming towards me, acting as if this argument has happened before. Then again, hadn't it? "You convince yourself with logic. You make it sound rational to cut away parts of yourself." She glared at me, eyes glowing, absorbing Lumina's essence. "If you're so willing to throw her away by killing your true emotions, you should be alone forever!"
And in that instant, everything shattered. Emptiness overwhelmed me, the darkness inside made itself known with ferocity. Her words had condemned me, her eyes lacking any form of mercy. I had brought this upon myself. I'd shut down any act of pity, pushed away help. I was strong enough...no, I wasn't strong. I was like Lumina. A child, my existence a lie. Everything about me was unreal, walls I had put up in hopes of protecting myself.
And all those walls were demolished with a simple realization: I was dead inside, like the souls in the Chaos, and if a soul refused to be among the living, then let her be alone in death.
"Serah," I called out.
The double looked away.
"Serah! No, wait!" Desperation overwhelmed me. "Don't go."
I began falling, invisible fingers wrapping around me, pulling me into the darkness, further from her. Away from the light.
"Please…don't…" I was begging now. The darkness ate me like a cancer. For the first time in my life, there was no one. No one to act strong for, no rivals pushing me, no friends cheering for me, no force to reckon with. No one but myself. Just the pit inside that swallowed my life and suffocated me. And now I'm forced to look at it, its maw ready to swallow its prey, and I'm afraid. I've always had support, even if I didn't want it, but not now.
I screamed at her, my last desperate plea. "Don't leave me alone."
The light disappeared and everything grew dark. Inside, something shattered.
"I need you," I said, hardly audible. "Help me."
Squeezing my eyes shut, tears escaped into the void. The small beads of liquid, seemingly suspended in the air, voiced something my words could not.
And it was this silent prayer that was answered.
Light shown down, blinding me for an instant, before a familiar laugh flitted across my ears. She rammed into me, wrapping her arms around my torso, her eyes dancing with mischief again. Instantly, emotion washed over me, threatening to drown me.
'Don't worry,' her voice rang out in my mind. 'I've got you.'
Light encircled me, flushing out the emptiness myself and Bhunivelze had created. Memories and emotions I had suppressed for years overwhelmed me. I wanted to scream, cry, laugh, curse, cower, fight - so many things all at once.
'Not so fast, Claire,' the young voice giggled. 'We aren't done just yet. We need to get out of here first.'
I sighed, embracing the relief I felt inside. It had been so long since I'd known such peace.
Suddenly, out of the light, a familiar shape obscured the beam. I reached out, grabbing his hand as if all my life depended on this one act. I needed help. I couldn't do this alone, not anymore.
"It's okay," he said. "We could hear you, Light."
They had heard me. They'd answered me.
"Let's go," he said, pulling me towards the light's source. "We'll be together."
Bhunivelze was no more. We had conquered him, locked him in the Chaos, and had claimed the world as our own. We had done it, together.
We were free. Noel had Yeul in his life once again thanks to Caius' sacrifice, Sazh had Dajh, and Snow and I had Serah.
Seeing her smile again, her laugh, hearing her say my name, it was like my heart would explode; there was nowhere for the thrill, the joy, all of the emotions to go.
For just an instant, I wanted the world to stop. I wanted to hold her, just like I had after we had saved Cocoon. I wanted to make sure that it was really her. My precious baby sister.
The severed chains in my heart, partially healed already thanks to Lumina, surged within me, wrapping my love for her in such a way, I knew nothing would take her from me again.
Now, as the souls of the saved danced around us, finally free to go to the new world, we bid goodbye to the Eidolons and Mog. Looking at Odin, a piece of me ached. Despite the curse that had brought about our meeting, I was grateful to him. The mighty soldier had saved me multiple times in battle. I owed him my life.
'Will we meet again?' I asked him mentally. I swear I saw a hint of a smile as I echoed my sister's words.
'I believe we will, warrior queen. But if this is farewell,' he said kneeling, 'it was an honor serving beside you.'
The great soldier dissipated into light. 'Goodbye,' I smiled. Closing my eyes, I let my memory drift to when this adventure had all began. It's funny; thirteen days ago, I looked back on this time with contempt. Now, while the struggle was still there, it focused on the people. Fate had woven us together, knowing we would need each other, our strengths and weaknesses, to survive. With each trial, bonds were strengthened. Friendships were crystalized. Lives were saved.
Something wet rolled down my face…a tear. I was crying. I smiled to myself, thanking the rose haired child tucked safely in my heart, as I wiped it away.
"It's time," I said to the others.
Serah looked up at Snow, smiled faintly, before reaching for my hand. Slowly, we rose with the other souls. We all let out our own exclamations of wonder and excitement as we soared. We were finally going home.
The time of crystals and gods is over, vanished into a past that no longer is. Humankind will be born afresh. Ours is a new future, bright with promise. Sometimes shadows will darken our path, we shall tremble in fear before the night. But we won't be alone. We will reach out our hands...and in the warmth of another hand holding our own, we feel hope. We will survive, and prosper. The crystal age is just a legend, a story from before this planet was born… from before you were born.
The train clicked quickly over the track, the speed slowing slightly as we were nearing the station. How different it was from the ones from before.
Even now, those memories are beginning to fade. My body and mind finally have a chance to relax. Peace I haven't known since childhood has finally returned to me. This new world, its gentle rolling hills, clear air, energy within its core, all of it is renewing me.
The train hisses as it stops in the station. I'm the sole arrival. Carefully, I step onto the platform, the wind causing my rose tresses to dance. My face brightens as the warm sunshine hits it.
In less than an hour, I'll be at home. Serah will be there with Snow, making final preparations for their wedding, as she's preparing lunch. Later this evening, we'll go into town to meet with the others for dinner and a small fair Dajh has been begging Sazh to see.
They don't really remember anymore. I've asked them. They look at me with lost eyes, amazed that I can recount in perfect detail events that seem as dreams to them.
I won't forget. Lumina's made certain of that. The imp reminds me daily of the events that brought us here, but I couldn't be more grateful.
My past has made me who I am. The struggles and victories, friends I have made and people I've lost. And while there are moments I wish I could have avoided, I wouldn't change a thing. I am a survivor. I have the scars to prove it. I've fought tooth and nail to get here, and thank heaven for those that have been at my side. Through the fire, we are made stronger.
I am not alone. Never before, and never again.
Dedicated to Katie. While I miss you, your legacy has made me who I am today.
Hello again loves. Thanks for sticking around. This is the end of this particular storyline (though I will likely be doing more with FFXIII in the future). While writing these has been emotionally exhausting, it's been fun. And now I have a challenge for you.
I'm in the hunt for another storyline to write about that is similar to this: an older sister losing her younger one. My youngest sister has already suggested My Little Pony, but if you guys can think of any, I'd be most appreciative.
Thanks.