"Even though the years drift away,
I never took the time just to say,
I love you and I always have,
And thank you for being my dad".
"Aramis!"
Aramis looked up from the book he was reading, hearing Porthos' desperate shout. He hadn't slept much the previous night and was having some difficulty staying awake. Sighing loudly, he went to open the door.
"Porthos, how good to see you, my friend. What is it, Mon Ami?"
Before answering Aramis' question, Porthos took time to observe his friend's new quarters for 100th time. Fancy living room, all in navy blue, soft leather sofas, a small table, paintings, a huge white fireplace… The street fighter could swear he had never seen a house so beautiful apart from the palace. His friend had a nice taste after all. However, since Aramis got a job of the first minister and changed his living quarters, Porthos found it hard to get used to his best friend's new position and sudden wealth. Of course, he was happy for him, but jealousy also ran through his veins. The marksman grew so busy with his duties that he barely acknowledged his friends' and even his own existence on earth. He didn't sleep for days in row because of too much paper work, politely denied his friends' offers every time they suggested to spend time in taverns like they used to before. In short, Aramis' exhaustion knew no bounds.
"Porthos, are you with me?" – The marksman's voice forced the large man to focus on reality again. He cursed himself silently for losing so much time over a small pool of thoughts. He had more important mission to complete. Today, while guarding the palace with D'artagnan and Athos, he learned about the dauphin's illness and soon the queen came running towards him, begging him to bring Aramis.
"Look, the dauphin is ill. The queen sent me for you".
Aramis' heart nearly stopped beating in his chest for a moment. His son was ill. His flesh and blood was ill while he was sitting in his quarters, safe and sound, trying to pass time. He regretted not agreeing with the queen's offer about staying in the palace as he couldn't stand being near his son every day. It hurt him to know his only child was barely aware of his existence. Of course, they had a formal relationship, but it was far from the bond every father and son on earth shared. To be honest, the marksman found it difficult to endure the queen's presence as well. He knew he loved her, but despite everything they had no chance to be together. His presence would hurt them both deeply, so he chose to stay away from her and his son in order to keep their reputations safe as well as his own. He had quite a lot experience in being condemned man and never wished to feel the same again.
"What's wrong with him?" – He finally managed to ask, trying very hard to prevent his voice from shaking.
"I don't know. The Fever perhaps."
"There are plenty of doctors in the palace, what can I do?" – Aramis regretted his words immediately, as he felt a fierce pain in his jaw and nose. He raised his head to see a seething Porthos.
"He is your son, damn you! He needs you, the queen needs you. She sent me for you because she acknowledges your parentage and wants you to be near your son during his hard time".
Aramis reeled back instinctively, feeling another punch was about to find its way towards his face. He knew Porthos was right. The dauphin was his son whether he liked it or not. But Athos had hammered in his head that the heir could never be his child and he had to stop dreaming about it. Despite his hard attempts to keep nonchalant, his heart refused to listen his mind, strictly guiding him towards his currently ill son.
"Let's go". – He said, grabbing his cloak and almost ran out of the door.
Half an hour later Aramis was already knocking on his son's private chamber's door.
"Come in". – Came a weak, small voice of a ten-year-old child. Sighing deeply in order to calm his fierce heartbeat, the marksman opened the door wearily, almost dragging his stubborn feet inside.
He found his son laying on the bed, his head almost buried in pillows, looking so small and fragile. Aramis felt tears raising in his eyes and shook his head quickly, approaching the dauphin with a nervous smile.
"Your soon to be majesty, I've heard you are unwell and came here to offer you my help. Can you please tell me what exactly is wrong with you?"
"I need a friend". – The dauphin replied, gazing up at him with his heart melting blue eyes.
Aramis' eyes widened in surprise, but he held himself back.
"That's hardly an answer I was expecting from you". – He said, making sure to keep his voice soft and light. Inside, he was fuming. Porthos nearly scared him to death. He nearly thought his son was about to die, but look at him. Laying here, safe and sound, needing a friend. A friend! Aramis held back a snort. The future king had so many companions in the palace, why would he need a friend? Besides what could a small boy know about friendship?
"No one expects such answer from a child, right, Aramis?" – The marksman flinched at the irony in his son's voice. Sitting on the bed, he sighed softly, thinking how to make him talk about his illness.
"With all the respect your soon to be majesty, please, let me know what you are suffering from".
"You still don't understand, do you?" – The dauphin smiled. – "I am not physically ill. My illness is called melancholy".
Aramis couldn't suppress his gasp. A child, the future king, the heir of France, His son and melancholic? These words didn't really mix in his head at all. Besides, how did he even know the meaning of the word?
"I see". – He said wearily. – "But may I know the reason of it?"
"I have no friends, Aramis. I know, you are probably surprised to hear me say so, but I can't help it. There are many people I can play with, but they are so fake. They talk to me with respect and formality, like they used to talk to papa, but I am not the king yet, am I? I am a child and I deserve kind of a childish treatment. I want someone to call me by name without being afraid of getting punished a second later, play horses with me, joke and laugh with me, talk to me about this and that, know every small thing about me. In short, I want to be a child!"
Aramis' jaw dropped at his son's explosion. The dauphin was so much like him. Craving for fun and freedom, hating being caged by duties and throne. Despite being an adult, Aramis found it hard to get used to have a job that required sitting on one chair all day, writing this and that. He missed his musketeer life. So free and adventurous. The excitement, the noise, the danger. Playing with the fire. He had a feeling like the future king was going to be different from every other monarch in the history of France and to his great surprise, it was comforting.
"Will you be my friend, Aramis?" – His son's angelic voice shook his thoughts away. Aramis smiled fondly at him, finally understanding his condition.
"Of course, your soon to be majesty, but…" – Aramis was about to continue, but the child stopped him.
"Call me by name".
"I will be your friend… Louis". – The last word burned his tongue more than any kind of alcohol, but he had to say it.
"I am Louis, nice to meet you". – The dauphin extended his small hand, smiling at his new friend.
"Aramis. Nice to meet you too". – Aramis shook his hand, taking a moment to admire its softness. A small blonde curl fell on Louis' forehead. Leaning in wearily, Aramis reached out to brush it behind his ear, not missing a chance to touch his forehead gently. Louis smiled at him, thanking him wordlessly. Aramis suspected the future king got that gesture from him as well. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. His son was considering him as his friend, his secret keeper, his savior, what more could he ask from god? Aramis felt like he was on the cloud nine from happiness.
"The fact that you agreed to be my friend doesn't quite clear the confusion on your face. Am I right, Aramis? You want to know why I chose you?"
Aramis couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. His son could read people better than he himself. Perhaps he got that from his mother. Finally, he nodded quietly.
"To be honest, I asked mother to send someone for you. Yes, don't look so shocked. I've been observing you for a long time…"
"And what did you learn about me?" – The words left his mouth before he could catch them.
"My mother told me you were a fine soldier, defending the country along with its king and I am also aware of your shooting skills. However, this is not the main reason I chose you from amongst. I've been observing you while playing, being present during important gathering and even while staying idly, watching you doing this and that in your free time. Ever since I became aware of the world I had to live in, I started looking for someone I could rely on any time. And you are the one, Aramis. You are funny, smart, witty, charming, light-hearted, talkative, sometimes even annoying a bit. You admire the nature and its beauty. You love children and children love you. Don't look at me like that. I saw you playing with my cousin two weeks ago, talking about flowers and birds. He was so impressed with you. Between us, every young servant has a crush on you. I've seen them looking at you longingly every time you passed them. I saw Athos rolling his eyes at your jokes with a small smile, D'artagnan's grateful eyes, when you checked aunt Constance's injured arm, Porthos' hearty laugh, when you lightened his bad mood. You are a real friend. The one I've always wanted to have. I know friends never keep secrets from each other, so I expect the same from you. I trust you, please, don't disappoint me".
Aramis could only blink, when his son finished his speech. He hardly knew a child so observant at this young age. Perhaps loneliness brought early wisdom in Louis' small head. He remembered his young self, barely noticing important things, always smiling, laughing, joking, seeing only good in every person, bantering with his toys, dogs, chickens, grass, flowers, trees, everything he could reach. His parents could only shake their heads with smiles, looking at their son fondly. Even as a boy, he had a good aim and often beat other children in throwing apples in a basket from a good distance. His handsome face attached girls like a magnet, his light nature making it easy for him to make friendship with everyone, hardly noticing some children eyeing him evilly, jealous of his appearance and talent. The dauphin was quite different from him in this case. He didn't open up to everyone, kept formal and unreachable for most people besides his mother and now his first minister. He remembered the queen's behavior in society and discovered that the heir got it from her. Aramis found himself admiring the mix of the character his son got from his parents.
"I promise you, I will be with you until my last breath. I will be your friend, your secret keeper, your shelter in the rain, your candle in the dark, everything you want me to be. I will rather die than see disappointment in your eyes". – He said in a shaking voice, feeling tears stinging his eyes.
"I expect no less. To be honest, I wish I had a papa like you". – The dauphin smiled, then opened his arms wide and hugged the marksman, shocking him to the core. Aramis' breath hitched in his throat. The dauphin buried his head in the crook of his neck for a moment. The marksman took his chance to drink in his son's scent, wrapping his arms protectively around him, hands trembling against Louis' back. He could die like this. Surrounded by the warmth of his flesh and blood, having his tiny arms around his neck, their heartbeats echoing together. A small sigh of contentment escaped the first minister's lips. For a second he was ready to throw every barrier to hell and tell his son the truth, tell him that his wish came true since the minute he was born, tell him how much he loved him, how fiercely he was going to protect him until his last day. They stayed like this for a while, then Louis pulled away and wiped a lone tear on the marksman's cheek with his thumb. Aramis smiled at him through tears.
"Your papa was a good person and a great king. You should be proud to be his son". – He told Louis, finding it extremely difficult to shape the words together.
"Was he? I barely remember him, his voice. But as far as I remember, he did everything on his own, without asking whether I wanted it or not, forced me to play with my many cousins, without asking if I liked them or wanted to be friends with them. He was hardly interested in my emotional state, my opinions or wishes. He even forbade mother to teach me Spanish despite the fact that I liked the language and wanted to learn. When I expressed my protest, he kindly explained the Spanish people were our enemies and we didn't have to know their language. I saw my mom crying silently in her chambers after that. You are different, Aramis. You are free in every sense of the word. I am sure you wouldn't forbid me or my mom anything. You would always show me good from bad, play with me, read books for me, explain things and…"
"And?" – Aramis asked, unable to hide his curiosity.
"And teach me how to win a girl's heart". – The dauphin added shyly.
Aramis found himself grinning at his son.
"You have a crush on someone?" – He asked lightly.
"No". – Louis turned his head away quickly to hide his flushing cheeks.
"Hey, you said friends shouldn't keep secrets from each other. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me".
"Ok, I have a crush on one of my cousins". – The dauphin admitted, growing redder on the face.
"How does she look like?"
"She has a hair black like darkness itself, skin pale like a snowflake, eyes blue like an ocean. In short, she is the fairest in the world".
"You mean Lisette?"
"Yes".
"I am impressed with your taste in female gender, Louis". – Aramis grinned, finding himself getting quite bold. He stopped suddenly, realizing their conversation was turning into a more father-son like one.
"I was hoping you would give me an advice".
"Well, to impress a woman you are going to need a knight like appearance and silver tongue along with good manners and good sense of humor. However, every man has his own ways. Athos, for example, doesn't really need to move a finger. His glare or a small curve of the lips are enough to take a woman's breath away. He never noticed but he had even more admirers than I". – Aramis almost murmured the last words to himself.
"Ok I suppose I don't look bad, I have good manners and a fine sense of humor. However, I am not sure about a silver tongue".
"Don't worry, we will work on that. Imagine I am Lisette. What would you compare my beauty to?"
"A princess". – Louis said without hesitation. It was the only praising he had heard so far.
"Some women like being compared to princess, but it would be better to compare to something unusual".
"How about a flower?"
"Not bad. Try more".
Louis thought for a while. Silence surrounding them. Aramis waited patiently, lost in his own thoughts. His brain and heart still found it hard to admit that everything was real. He had to believe it wasn't a dream, but he was too overwhelmed to think straight. Being so close to his son clouded his thoughts. He imagined himself holding Louis' hand in his, walking down the street with him with a proud expression on his face. The dauphin asking him about this and that and he himself explaining things patiently, giving him a moment to understand, then smile contently and kiss the top of his head fondly. Then he imagined the queen smiling at them, admiring their bond, then approaching them, wrapping her arms around her lover's neck, kissing him gently. Little Louis would demand their attention, making them both chuckle and kiss his chubby cheeks. There was no other kind of heaven for him.
"You are like a firefly in my dark life, my dear Lisette. Your beauty has made me blind, deaf, numb. It rules my heart, makes my knees go weak and my heart skip a beat. If you accept my undying love and boundless respect, I'll be your humble servant until the day I die".
Aramis stared at his son without blinking, his mouth forming into "o" shape. The dauphin grinned at him.
"How was it, Aramis?"
"How did you..." – Aramis wanted to continue, but the words hitched in his throat.
"I learned it from you while observing your flirting skills and charming manners with maids and noble women".
"Wow". – Was all Aramis could say.
"So, what do you think, will she accept my offer?" – Louis got back to business.
"Definitely, your maj… Louis". – Aramis said with a small proud smile.
"Thank you, my friend". – Louis said.
They talked about this and that for a while, until Aramis noticed his son's eyes drooping. Louis tried to suppress his yawns, but in the end he gave in and fell asleep. Aramis drew a blanket on him and kissed his forehead, thanking god for his existence, before leaving the room quietly.
Once coming out, he explained to every person he met on his way that the dauphin had a headache and needed rest, there was nothing serious. He stopped upon reaching the queen's private chambers. He knocked carefully, before stepping inside and found her reading a book. Anne stopped immediately and went to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, realizing how much she had missed him.
"How's our little prince?" – She asked.
"Nothing to worry about". – He replied, caressing her cheek.
"He didn't tell me why he wanted to talk to you, just asked me to send someone for you. He even faked illness for that, can you imagine? Anyway, I was hoping to get some information from you".
"He asked me to be his friend". – Aramis explained, grinning at Anne's shocked face.
"He did? Louis never gets close to anyone. Even to me. He never tells me anything, but as he considered you as his friend, he had to tell you many things. Care to enlighten me?"
"A parent never reveals his son's secrets" – Aramis smiled.
"But I am his mother!" – Anne gasped at him.
"Don't worry, my love, like I said, there's nothing to worry about. Try to talk to him, ask him how he feels, what he wants and always call him by name without any formalities. You know, like mother and son".
"I will try, but you are still not forgiven". – Anne pouted.
"I can fix that". – Aramis smiled, leaning in to kiss her.
His heart sighed contently, looking at the woman in his arms. The mother of his child, the love of his life, his queen, his everything. He finally gained his son's trust and got close to him even more than he could ever expect. Thanking god for his new achievement, he made a mental note to celebrate his success with his friends and find more time for them from now on, but currently he had another thing to take care of.
