Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon. All rights go to Cressida Cowell, the author of the popular book series, and Dreamworks, who made the films and series. I wrote this fanfic, and that's it. This particular fanfic is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.
A/N: Bold means the dragons are talking, italics means the humans are thinking and bold italics mean the dragons are thinking.
It was a normal day on Berk. The sun was shining in the sky, Terrible Terrors were singing on the rooftops, people were happily going about their business . . . and Mildew was complaining loudly for all to hear. Yes, a totally normal day on Berk.
"Those stupid dragons have been at it again!" he yelled to Gobber, leaning on the smithy's door. "They're sleeping on my roof now, would you believe it!"
"Oh, I'd definitely believe that they've taken to sleeping on your roof," Gobber answered, as he pounded on a piece of red-hot metal. "The issue here, though, Mildew, is getting me to care."
"Well, who's in charge of those Gods-damned dragons, then?" Mildew grumbled, stroking Fungus' woolly coat until an idea came to mind. "Oi, where's Hiccup got to?"
"He'll be here soon," Gobber dismissed. "Not like that boy to be late."
Hiccup came around the corner immediately after Gobber said this, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he partially leaned on Toothless, his best friend. "Hello, Gobber. Hey, Mildew," he greeted. Hiccup was always polite to people even if they disagreed with his opinions.
"Hiccup, you need to come over to my house right now and get these dragons off my roof!" Mildew ordered. "They've been keeping me up all night!"
"Mildew, calm down," Hiccup soothed, attempting to find out as much as he could. "What sort of dragon is it?"
"Oh, is that all you care about?" Mildew shrieked. "The dragon and not me? I bet all you're going to do is lure 'em away with some fish, and then play some silly little 'trust games' with them! After you declare them 'trained', you'll let 'em out into the plaza again, where they'll sleep on my roof again! Do you have any idea how much this is affecting me, boy? They'll be eating my cabbage soon, and then I'll have no income!"
"Mildew, I . . . " Hiccup began, but was cut off.
"There you go, interrupting! Don't you give anyone time to talk? Or do you expect me to deal with these dragons myself? I'm just an old cabbage farmer!" Mildew ranted.
"Let the boy talk, why don't ya?" Gobber yelled, pounding on the wall with his hammer in an attempt to restore order.
Quickly forgotten, Toothless sat on the sidelines, thoroughly pissed at how Hiccup was being treated by Mildew. Did Hiccup really fight the Red Death for nothing? Toothless was soon joined by Stormfly, Hookfang Barf, Belch, and Meatlug, who came by to watch the spectacle. "Does Mildew always complain this much, or is he especially angry today?" Toothless asked. "I know a bunch of dragons slept on his roof, but you don't need to yell this much!"
"Hey, why don't you say it louder, I don't think he was listening the first time," Hookfang grumbled, still rather tired.
"Shut up, Hookfang. You're pretty much the dragon equivalent of Mildew," Barf snapped.
"You complain as much as he does, if not more," Belch agreed. Hookfang jumped on them, only to be restrained by Meatlug and Stormfly, who weren't too happy to realize that Hookfang was fighting Barf and Belch and it wasn't even lunch yet.
"Hookfang may complain like an old man, but at least he doesn't remind me of a hatchling, unlike you two!" Meatlug scolded. Barf and Belch looked embarrassed to be scolded so loudly. They weren't hatchlings, for Odin's sake!
"Thanks, Meatlug . . . I think," Hookfang said, confused.
"I wish they noticed how annoying it is for us when Mildew starts complaining," Stormfly mused. "We're sick of it. He's so boring."
"How could this be made more interesting?" Hookfang asked. That's when Toothless had an idea, and sauntered behind the bickering old man as quietly as he could. Mildew never noticed a thing, and neither did Hiccup and Gobber. But the other dragons did.
"What are you doing?" Meatlug asked Toothless. Toothless didn't answer the Gronckle, but stood on his back legs like a human and started pacing around behind Mildew, copying his movements, along with opening and closing his mouth to make it seem like he was talking instead of the old man. It took a second for the other dragons to realize that their friend was copying Mildew, the village grouch, and doing a very good job of it too. Hookfang was the first to start snickering, closely followed by Barf and Belch, then Stormfly. Last to loosen up was Meatlug, who wanted to be known as the stern but caring mother of the group, and didn't much care for immature pranks like Toothless'. However, it was soon learned that she didn't much care for Mildew, either.
"How long are you going to continue doing this, Toothless?" Stormfly giggled.
"How about until I get caught, Stormfly?" Toothless shot back. Just then, he heard muffled laughter, and he looked around to see if he could find the source. And that's when he saw something surprising.
Hiccup and Gobber both seemed to be holding back laughter. Well, Hiccup was holding back laughter for Mildew's sake (he didn't have much of choice, standing in front of him), but Gobber was just making sure the grouchy pensioner didn't see him laugh, as he could be seen diving under his work bench to compose himself, before emerging to see Toothless still mimicking Mildew, and dive back under the work bench. And now Toothless looked around him, he saw that other Vikings were watching too. He didn't care, and continued to mimic Mildew.
"How do you expect me to help you if the only thing you're telling me is that there was a dragon on your roof?" Hiccup finally burst out. "I need to know what type of dragon it is so I can figure out the best way of getting it down!"
"Why don't you know this already, boy?" Mildew sneered. "You're a dragon trainer, aren't you? Besides, it was probably your Night Fury doing it."
"Can't be, Mildew. If it was Toothless, you'd have dragged him in front of me and tried to get an explanation from him by now," Hiccup answered. Gobber grinned.
"Why do you insist on being so insolent, Hiccup?" Mildew asked. "I'm just trying to get you to help me, an old man."
"And I'm just trying to get you to tell me the necessary information, Mildew," Hiccup replied, staring at Toothless' impersonation of Mildew and fighting the impulse of laughing. However, the real Mildew saw him.
"What are you looking at, boy?" Mildew snapped, turning around quickly. Toothless got back on all fours and sat with his tail lazily swishing on the ground. The other dragons fought to contain their laughter, and so did a few amused Vikings. "Oh, it's the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself. No wonder Hiccup's distracted. What do you want?" Toothless did a magnificent job at pretending to be interested in the staff Mildew had in his right hand, his sharp ears picking up snickers from dragons and humans alike. "Get off me, you stupid reptile! Don't you know not to touch this? It's mine!"
"It's just a stick!" Toothless retorted, but after a few nudges to the head from the stick, Toothless took a few steps back, if only to appease Mildew. Mildew huffed, and continued to rant, using Toothless as ammunition. He was pointing at Toothless with the index finger of his right hand, while stroking his beard with his left. Toothless decided to up his mimicking game, putting more effort into pretending to be Mildew. At one point, he even tried to coax Fungus away from Mildew, making both dragons and humans go into hysterics.
"Oh, how is he getting away with that?" Hookfang howled. "Wouldn't Mildew have caught him by now?"
"Apparently not," Stormfly laughed.
"What are you all laughing at?" Mildew snapped, turning around. Toothless stopped just in time for Mildew to see only a Night Fury sitting behind him, tail swishing carelessly. By now, Mildew was slowly beginning to realize that Toothless was involved, and yelled at the placid-looking black dragon like he had done every wrongdoing in the history of the Earth. "YOU!" Mildew roared, as the other dragons and Vikings collapsed laughing. "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU! THAT'S WHY EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING, WASN'T IT? YOU WERE MAKING A FOOL OUTTA ME! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, DRAGON?"
"Yes," Toothless answered, nodding his head as howls of laughter echoed around Berk. "This place was becoming boring."
"LOOK, DRAGON, I'LL BE GENEROUS WITH YOU AND LET YOU OFF, BUT IF I CATCH YOU DOING ANYTHING RUDE AGAIN, I'LL TAKE YOU TO STOICK'S DOOR MYSELF, YOU HEAR ME?" Toothless nodded happily, and stuck out his tongue to make the other Vikings laugh. "That's the problem these days, Hiccup, your dragons are getting cocky. It won't be long until they're telling you what to do." Toothless sat behind him, mouthing every word Mildew said to the Vikings howling with laughter. "I bet - oh, what's he doing now?"
Mildew spun around to find Toothless was still sitting there, with a bored expression on his face. Mildew inspected his face closer, but could find nothing out of the ordinary. Eventually, he turned away to address a crowd of Vikings who were currently splitting their sides laughing. He felt that if he didn't have Fungus with him right now, he'd have gone mad. But it seemed relief was near. Stoick was walking with Spitelout and Snotlout (possibly to discuss something Snotlout had done). Both Jorgensons looked ashamed as Stoick continued to explain every last humiliating detail of whatever had happened. But all three were surprised when they saw a marketplace full of people and dragons laughing their butts off, an angry Mildew (not so surprising) and a smug-looking Toothless (also not a surprise). "What's going on?" Stoick eventually burst out.
Mildew shuffled over to him as fast as he could (which wasn't that fast). "Your boy's dragon is making a mockery outta me! He keeps going behind me and doing something that all the other villagers seem to find funny! Letting people laugh at a humble cabbage farmer! He should be beheaded!"
"Did you see what he did?" the chief asked.
"Well, no, but-" Mildew stammered.
"How do you expect me to behead him over something you didn't see, and I didn't see?" Stoick asked. Spitelout and Snotlout were just happy that Stoick's withering glare wasn't focused on them.
"I didn't see it, but they did!" Mildew shrieked, pointing wildly at the roaring crowd. "They can tell you! Hiccup! Hiccup, get over here! Tell your father what your Night Fury did!"
"I can't tell you that, but would you mind if I showed you instead?" Hiccup asked.
"Of course, Hiccup," Mildew nodded, waving at him to proceed. With that, Hiccup walked over to Toothless and asked one question.
"Toothless, what does Mildew look like?"
Toothless immediately started walking around on two legs, opening and closing his mouth to look like he was talking again and pointing at random people with his claws as dragons and Vikings, young and old, lost their collective minds. When Toothless stopped (but not before he stroked an imaginary beard and caused a bunch of grown men to wet their pants laughing), Stoick wiped a tear of laughter from his eye and asked, "Toothless, who was that?" Toothless immediately pointed a claw in Mildew's direction, and a fresh wave of laughter erupted from the crowd. Mildew wasn't amused, and he stormed off with Fungus in tow, as usual, complaining about 'that gods-damned Night Fury'. Hookfang, Stormfly, Meatlug, Barf and Belch flew over and congratulated Toothless on making the village grouch finally leave them alone.
"Finally, somebody made him shut up and give us some peace!" Hookfang cheered, ecstatic. "Leave it to Toothless to make Mildew leave the village!"
"He hasn't left the village, he just went to his house," Meatlug corrected. "Good job, though, Toothless."
"We thought you were going to get caught!" Barf and Belch chorused.
"How bad is it going to be now?" Stormfly asked. Everyone groaned. "You are in so much trouble!"
"And Hookfang's the dragon equivalent of Mildew?" Toothless asked sarcastically. Hookfang grinned, before nudging Toothless.
"Toothless, I can't punish you for literally doing impressions of Mildew behind his back," Hiccup began, being drowned out by loud cheers almost immediately ". . . this time. Do this again, and you're on limpets for two weeks, you hear me?" Toothless nodded, and Hiccup sighed tiredly. "You don't like to stay around Mildew much, do you?"
Glad to know that you realize what I mean, Toothless thought, shaking his head as an answer to Hiccup's question as simply tired giggles could be heard from the villagers, too tired to laugh anymore. As the two walked back to the forge that had been sadly neglected during Mildew's rampage, something curious occurred. As Toothless sat outside waiting for Hiccup, he kept getting small handfuls of fish handed to him by villagers who disliked Mildew as much as Toothless did, but couldn't get away with mimicking him. Being the kind and generous dragon that he was, he let his grateful, hungry friends share his fish. (Toothless' kindness and the insane amount of fish fast became the stuff of legend.) Mildew mimicking, as it became known, quickly became a popular pastime for Berk's dragon population, so much so that humans would make bets on who would do it next and Mildew soon spent as much time talking as he did literally looking over his shoulder at a dragon/group of dragons behind him. But at the end of the day, no matter how many dragons took part in the sport, nobody could best its founder, Toothless.
Couldn't resist writing this little fanfic, folks! FoxtrotTango543 signing out!