Tina stops at the foot of the flagstone path, lingering to admire the quaint cottage with the rose bushes and mountain avens beneath the windows, and the rolling hills behind it.
It's an objectively beautiful picture, one that still inspires awe despite the years they've called this place home, but today it only feels empty — as empty as the three little rooms they had lovingly decorated, only for the paint to fade and the furniture to collect dust. As empty as the patient and eternally-hopeful spaces in her heart, always willing to accommodate more.
As empty as her womb.
She swallows the lump in her throat and squares her shoulders before marching up the path, determined not to worry him even though the news she has to share isn't good.
Tina kicks off her shoes and shrugs out of her summer blazer, sighing when the cool tile seems to suck the heat out of her blood before striding into the kitchen. Newt's claimed his place at the head of the table, sheaves of parchment and half-opened books spread before him, his ink-stained fingers scratching over their financial ledger when he looks up and smiles hopefully.
"You're home." He cleans the nib before setting down his pen and coming to her side. Tina allows him to pull her into a one-armed hug, her head going automatically to his shoulder as he cards his fingers through her hair. "Come now darling, there's no need for that."
She starts when she realizes she's crying, silent tears soaking into the soft fabric of his shirt. Newt hushes her gently before cupping her chin to dry her cheeks. "What did the healers say?"
Tina scrubs at her face with the back of her hands before sucking in a deep breath. "I can't give you children," she blurts when the expectant silence proves to be too much. "The healers said that we probably waited too long, that the time has gone, that i-it's—"
Whatever else she's trying to say is lost to a fresh cloudburst of tears, and Newt folds her back into his embrace as she fists her hands over her stomach. The fragrant summer breeze hoots around the eaves of the cottage but that too is hollow, the sound reminiscent of a flushing toilet, of empty months, bled away as the years passed.
She clings to Newt as all her grief pours out her, tears like leeching poison from a wound soiling his shoulder and neck until finally, she calms to erratic hiccups and then nothing, even the constant wind falling still as a cloud temporarily blots the sun.
"Do you remember," Newt says eventually, voice hoarse as if he, too, were crying. "After Paris, after everything that happened with my brother — do you remember when we took in Credence?"
Tina straightens up to look at him, her heart filling with warmth and love when he makes no effort to hide the tear-tracks beneath his red-rimmed eyes. "We took him in and showed him love for the first time in his life," Newt goes on, "and he grew into a remarkable man for it, with a family all his own."
She flinches at the reminder, unable to quell the conditioned response, only to shiver when Newt wraps slender fingers around her wrists, his eyes earnest. "I'm not bringing it up to hurt you, dearest," he whispers, "but to remind you that all is not lost. There is another way."
She takes a deep breath while shaking her head, preparing to argue, only for Newt to frame her face between his calloused palms. "There is," he says firmly, "and I know what you're going to say. Just...think about it, will you?" He brushes his thumb over her cheek while murmuring a cooling charm before kissing the tip of her nose. "For both our sakes."
The gentle reprimand is delivered with such dry affection that Tina smiles. "I will because you asked so nicely," she tells him, only to grow somber when he examines her face. "I'm really sorry, Newt."
"Codswallop," he says easily. "You couldn't have predicted this. And no matter what you may think in that magnificent head of yours, Tina...it isn't your fault."
Renewed tears prickle her eyes, and she breaks his hold on her to smooth her palms over his shoulders before taking a deep breath. "You're right," she admits hoarsely, "and I know you're right but it's gonna take a long time to accept that. Blaming myself is a habit, as you know."
Newt rolls his eyes before brushing his mouth over hers. "I'm well aware. It's one of the reasons I love you." Tina flashes a weak smile, and he nuzzles her cheek before taking her hand. "Now come on. I have a surprise for you upstairs."
"Last time you said that," Tina recalls fondly while following him through the sitting room and up the stairs, "there was that little bedroom incident with the—"
"Hush," Newt says, the apple of his cheeks crinkling into a smile. Tina dips her head and bites her lip when he leans in for a reassuring kiss, taking his time with it until the tips of his ears are pink and he's breathing unsteadily against her lips. "How was I to know that Dougal would come for me right at the most, uh, critical moment?"
Tina bursts into laughter at the reminder, poking him in the shoulder when he swings open the bedroom door. "You should have seen your face!" she crows, stepping into the room as her eyes fall by habit to the bed. "I've never seen you so...so... Newt?!"
A pile of gray fluff roughly the size of a baseball unfurls from the center of the bed with a curious little meep, before stretching and looking up at Tina with wide, golden eyes. Their smooshed face and bottlebrush tail are immediately endearing, and Tina shares a disbelieving look with her proud husband before approaching the bed and falling to her knees, allowing the tiny animal to trot over and sniff her curiously.
"It's a Kneazle kit," Newt says from behind her, shoving his hands in his pockets and watching them fondly. "I found her outside the Ministry a week ago, and have been nursing her back to health ever since." Tina grins at him from over her shoulder and Newt comes to her side to pet the small animal, smiling a little when the kitten gnaws at his fingertips. "I figured we could use some animal companionship around here, now that the sanctuary has been established and all."
"I love her," Tina says honesty, scratching beneath the delicate chin and earning an adorable purr. "Does she have a name?"
"Not yet, no," Newt admits, ducking his head when she gives him a disbelieving look. "I thought that, if you were amenable to keeping her, you'd like to do the honors."
A surrogate child, Tina thinks but does not say, ignoring the brief constriction in her heart. The kneazle seems to sense her distress, marching across the mattress and butting her cheek in a determined rub before nipping the tip of her nose. The brief, bright pain is enough to distract Tina from her resigned melancholy, and she laughs while carefully scooping the kitten up.
"You little brat," she says affectionately as the kitten tangles her claws in the lace edge of her blouse. "Mauling me is not going to make me want to keep you around."
Newt laughs before standing to wiggle his fingers, causing the kneazle in Tina's arms to attack them. "She is rather aggressive, isn't she?" He smiles down at the beast with unmistakable fondness as Tina protectively tightens her hold and pokes her tongue out at him.
"Mauler just doesn't like you," she teases. The kitten — Mauler — makes a self-satisfied sound of agreement before setting to work on cleaning a dainty hind leg, effectively dismissing her human handlers.
"Mauler," Newt repeats softly and tucks a strand of Tina's hair behind her ear before lingering over her cheek. "That's a fitting name, darling. Well done."
"I learned from the best," she agrees and leans in for a kiss until Mauler expresses her displeasure by yowling loudly and going after the buttons on Newt's shirt, to great comedic effect.
Thanks, as always, to kemara for beta-reading. Written as a prompt fill; want one of your own? Come find me on Tumblr at katiehavok and drop me a line!
