--Silk Sheets--
By KT the Shimmer Skank
Rating: PG-13 for brief nudity and sexual situations.
Author's Note: I actually have a full-length story that goes with this, but I don't really think I'll get around to putting it all together, due to my current schedule. Oh well. It still makes a nice little one-shot.
It was a cold evening. I shivered beneath the expensive sheets as I stared at the man lying beside me. He was deep asleep. His hair, usually slicked back, hung freely across his face and shoulders, and his bare chest rose and fell with each of his breaths. The window above the bed was cracked open, allowing cold air and noises of the city to leak softly into the room. But I was high in the air in a skyscraper, far away from the reality outside.
The shaft of light falling from the window onto the bed was steadily growing dimmer. The sun was setting, and soon it would be night. I felt my stomach churn at the thought. I couldn't face him. I couldn't lie to him, and I knew if I went to see him, I would have to tell him the truth. I would have to tell him where I'd been all day. I pictured how he might react, and tears welled up in my eyes.
I never think before I act. That's the problem. I'm so used to acting in the heat of the moment that I no longer know the concept of stopping to think things through. Logic is lost on me; I act solely on passion. Just look where passion brought me this time. I should have known it was only a matter of time before I tumbled off this balance beam I insist on rushing across.
My unfaithfulness wasn't the worst part. What really made the situation bad was who I was with. Xanatos. Once upon a time, I hated this man. I could be driven for days at a time with nothing more than the desire to take him down. He had to be caught, had to be punished. I swore I would get him if it was the last thing I did. There was no emotion in me as strong as my hatred for Xanatos, except maybe my love for Goliath. The irony in that now was biting. A tear slid down my face.
What was it about Xanatos? He's the pompous, oily kind of guy that dumb blondes with expensive taste melt for. His confidence and self-absorption are unfaltering, as he is certain there is nothing he can't have. He stands for money and power, two things in this world I hate. This is the kind of man I would loathe if for no other reason than to prove him wrong. But when the opportunity arose, I couldn't resist. I gave in. The setting was all too perfectly wrong. Expensive wine that tasted like silk; expensive silk that looked like wine. A view of the city from way up in the clouds. It was everything I shouldn't want, but I wanted it anyway. I was a fool to his games. Maybe there really isn't anything he can't have.
And yet, I knew I was kidding myself. Xanatos hadn't set out to seduce me any more than I had tried to seduce him. This wasn't a game or a chase. I would have liked to believe this was all his fault, just another one of Xanatos' vicious acts of deception. In truth, I was just as guilty as he was. I'm not some dumb girl; I'm a strong, capable woman. I could have stopped this. It would have been as simple as the word "no." I could have prevented this whole mess, if I had wanted to.
If I had wanted to. These words crushed me as I acknowledged them. I had wanted this. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't be lying there. Sure, I could hide behind the guise of being careless or clouded by passion, but the truth stood clearly in my mind. Whatever stupid thoughts were going on in my head that day, deep down I had known what I was getting myself into. I knew that it was wrong, that it would cause heartache, and that it could ruin not only my relationship with Goliath but also Xanatos' marriage. I knew, and I did it anyway. Becuase I wanted to.
The room was dark now, for the sun was gone from the sky. Not too far above me, a clan of gargoyles was awakening from its stone slumber. Goliath, my love, the one I'd betrayed, would awake and glide to my apartment, where he expected me to be waiting for him. He had no idea I was already so close to him, and that I was in the bed of his enemy-turned-friend. I sank deeper beneath the covers; I was too afraid to move or do anything other than lie there and stare into space.
Xanatos stirred and it pulled me away from my thoughts. I saw a glimmer of shock as he opened his eyes and saw me, but it quickly faded as he remembered all that had happened. "Elisa," he said calmly in greeting. It was a one-word sentence that confirmed my presence and all that went with that. He reached out and touched my bare shoulder with the tips of his fingers. "How long have I been asleep?"
"About three hours," I replied quietly.
He looked up at the window, and saw that the sky outside was black. Then he looked at me. He knew what I was thinking. "I understand if you have somewhere you need to be, of course. I was actually surprised to find you here when I woke up."
Sorry, David, I thought coldly. Didn't realize I was interfering with your idea of having your way with me, then tossing me aside.
"Yeah, well. Sorry for the inconvenience." I rolled over on my back and stared up at the ceiling.
"Inconvenience? On the contrary, I find your presence quite warming." He climbed out of the bed, unfazed by the fact that he was still completely nude. He turned on the speaker phone on the nightstand and dialed a number.
"Yes, Mr. Xanatos?" said a dull, business-like voice through the speaker.
Xanatos opened the drawer and pulled out a plastic bottle of aspirin. He retrieved two pills and washed them down with the remaining wine as he listened to Owen. "I'll be needing my messages, Owen."
"Yes, sir. Mr. Lucar of Gold Industries called to confirm your appointment tomorrow at nine. I told him you would be there?"
"Yes, that's fine, Owen."
"You also need to contact Sky Mattox about your new contract. And Fox called twice today, from Florence."
"Thank you, Owen."
"Yes sir."
The call was ended. Xanatos yawned and stretched out his arms. He smiled at me softly and came back to the bed. "It's been an interesting day, hasn't it?"
"You could say that," I answered, pulling the covers closer to me and drawing my eyes away from him. I sighed, fighting the urge to cry again. "So what happens now? I would call this a mistake, but I guess I can't expect someone like you to admit to it. I guess it hasn't even crossed your mind that what we've done has the potential to hurt other people."
"Elisa, don't think you're the only one here with a guilty conscience. I know that this was a mistake. I love my wife very much. But these things just happen sometimes."
I could feel my heart pounding as my emotions started to cave in on themselves. I was growing angry; angry at Xanatos, angry at myself, and angry that I wasn't as angry as I should be. "Not to me, they don't. I'm an honest person, Xanatos. I don't like betraying the trust of the people I love."
Xanatos reached out and grabbed my hand, tugging slightly to get me to turn around and look at him. He stared into my eyes with his ever-present confidence and calm. I didn't understand how he could be so casual in a situation so surreal. "I don't know what ideas you've gotten about me in the past, but I'm not the kind of person who likes to betray the ones I love, either. This hurts me, too. But what's done is done; sitting around feeling remorseful isn't going to fix things. I'd say the best thing to do now is just move on. Forget this whole thing ever happened."
Why wasn't I surprised to hear that? It was the logical answer, I suppose. It would be the easiest solution. But logic was lost on me, after all. "I don't think I can do that. When I see Goliath, I just won't be able to lie to him. I feel like... I feel like he'll know."
"Well, then, if you need to tell the truth, tell the truth. I can't stop you; I won't stop you. But do you really think that's going to make this any easier? Or any less hurtful? If we walk away quietly, no one gets hurt. We can put this behind us." He held my hand in his, stroking my skin lightly for comfort.
I closed my eyes. It felt so strange to have him touching me. This whole situation was strange. My conscience was telling me that I couldn't rest until I had righted this wrong, but another part of me was too tired to listen. I just wanted to hide beneath the silk sheets and forget about all the bad things around me.
I exhaled. "You're right. We should just forget this whole thing ever happened."
"I'm glad you see it that way." He glanced again at the window. "Should you get going?"
"Yeah, I should. Goliath is expecting me." But I couldn't bring myself to move. If I left, this moment would be lost. I would have to face my lover and what I had done to him. If I walked back out into reality, I would have to live with my sin. I laid there beneath the wine-colored silk, hoping I could just freeze time and never have to face life beyond this moment.
Xanatos laughed softly after a moment. "No need to rush, Elisa," he teased. Only someone like him could possibly see a window of humor at a time like this.
"I... can't go. I just can't."
"I understand." He reached over with his powerful arms and pulled me to him, our naked bodies pressed against each other yet again beneath the sheets. He started kissing softly at my neck. "So just... stay."
It wasn't long before the room stopped feeling cold. I was lost in the heat of the moment again, throwing caution to the wind and indulging in something I knew with all my heart was wrong. The funny thing was, we probably could have walked away from this, never telling anyone, and everything would have turned out fine. Even after the mistake I'd made, I still had a chance to go on without having anyone get hurt. And yet, I found myself making love to Xanatos a second time. I was a fool for following my whims, just like always. I could have stopped this.
If I had wanted to.
