I almost hate me for this one. Warning for Shinobu topping Miyagi, and for not-so-great sex.

Junjou Romantica is the rightful property of Nakamura Shungiku. This is a fanwork written purely for both your entertainment and mine.

Shinobu swallowed, suddenly realising his throat felt dry, unnatural in his own body, and pulled the cigarette that was resting between his lover's lips away, discarding it to the side. Miyagi didn't move beneath him, but kept his gaze locked on his younger lover, feeling calm (drunk, it was definitely because he was drunk), yet alert. Shinobu's fingers shook a little as he reached underneath Miyagi's bed to retrieve the half-empty bottle of lubricant he knew was there. After nearly dropping it twice, he managed to open it and coat his own fingers in the substance, wrinkling his nose at the feeling of the stuff on his skin.

Miyagi lay back against his pillows, watching Shinobu wearily as the younger man roughly shoved his knees apart. Earlier that night, they'd both made the mistake of drinking a little too much, and the topic of conversation had wandered idly back and forth, until Shinobu had flopped drunkenly into Miyagi's lap, and started that he was curious about what it was like to top. Seeing nothing wrong at the time, Miyagi had gladly played along until Shinobu had pinned him firmly to his bed and started to undress him.

Now that he was a little more sober, his mind a little clearer, the older man wondered if it was worth giving up alcohol just to make sure nothing like this happened again. He felt strangely nervous, exposed, like it was the first time all over again. Perhaps it was, in a way.

Miyagi frowned. Maybe he could smoke a few more cigarettes a day to compensate for giving up drinking...

"What's wrong?"

Miyagi blinked.

"Nothing."

"Then stop staring!" Shinobu snapped.

Miyagi twitched, wondered if Shinobu was just trying to get the whole affair over and done with for whatever reason, wondered why until the younger man actually slid one finger inside him, and he realised that if it felt this bad the whole damn time, he wouldn't mind getting it over and done with, either.

"Does that feel okay?" Shinobu asked, and Miyagi bristled, wondering whether he was thankful that Shinobu was willing to take some constructive criticism, or angry that Shinobu was feeding him corny lines as if he were a teenage girl.

Not really knowing how to reply without hurting Shinobu's feelings, Miyagi chose to stay silent.

Shinobu froze as Miyagi averted his eyes, and glared.

"Stupid old man! I can tell you're not enjoying this!"

"Really?" Miyagi responded dryly, flinching as Shinobu jabbed at him with his fingers a little too roughly, as if he were trying to make up for his prior lack of confidence.

"What am I doing wrong?" Shinobu asked, and Miyagi felt his stomach twist at the rough, guilty edge in Shinobu's voice.

"Nothing, really."

"Then why aren't you…reacting… like I…"

"Maybe I just don't like it?" Miyagi suggested, flinching again as Shinobu curled his fingers.

"You were the one that suggested this!"

Miyagi considered telling Shinobu that he'd downed a good amount of alcohol before he had 'suggested this', but he decided to refrain from doing so, as Shinobu had apparently decided that it was a good time to start jerking him off with his spare hand.

Shinobu's hand on his half-hard cock wasn't really enough for him to forget the uncomfortable feeling of the fingers in his ass, but the look on Shinobu's face in addition to the hand job was definitely enough to make him try. It was hypocritical of him, perhaps, to think that it wasn't really fair for only one of them to be enjoying this, and then think he was happy to endure as long as Shinobu was happy. Then again, Shinobu had made him think things he'd never believed he'd think ever since the start of their relationship.

When Shinobu leaned down to tease the head of his cock with his tongue, Miyagi was almost willing to agree to the fingers as long as the younger man kept doing what he was doing. Unfortunately, Shinobu chose that moment to start moving his fingers again. The feeling wasn't unpleasant anymore, but it certainly wasn't pleasurable, and Miyagi found himself wondering how people actually enjoyed the feeling.

"I'm not good at this," Shinobu said, as if reading his thoughts, "Miyagi... I..."

"Don't worry about it," Miyagi said, cutting him off hastily, feeling bizarrely guilty. He hadn't really been making an effort to enjoy it, and he wasn't sure he'd find the feeling arousing if he had been, but he knew Shinobu meant more to him than this.

"Keep going."

Shinobu blushed, groaning a little.

"Idiot."

"I can still say no," Miyagi grunted, eyelid twitching, and Shinobu shut his mouth sharply and reached to grab the condoms off the bedside table. Rolling it down the length of his own cock and applying lube, Shinobu bit his lip and turned to Miyagi.

Miyagi felt sweat bead on the back of his neck, but he parted his legs anyway, causing Shinobu blush slightly.

"Miyagi..."

The younger man crawled forward, settling himself between Miyagi's legs and awkwardly sliding his cock against Miyagi's thigh before finally, carefully pressing inside.

If anything, Miyagi knew that he'd come out of this experience with more respect for Shinobu's pain threshold. It did hurt; it was an unpleasant, burning, stinging sensation that gradually died to become a vague annoyance in the back of his mind until Shinobu moved again.

"Sorry," Shinobu mumbled, hips jerking forward out of reflex. For the first time since they had started what they were doing, Miyagi realised that he wasn't the only one in unfamiliar territory, and he drew Shinobu down to kiss him. Shinobu groaned in response and started to thrust unevenly against Miyagi, whimpering when the older man reached around to grip his thighs, bringing him closer. Miyagi grunted as Shinobu's fingernails began digging into his thigh. It wasn't bad, he realised upon reflection, and Shinobu had seemingly learned the basics by example. Despite this, he couldn't really say it was pleasurable. At that moment, Shinobu reached down to jerk him off, and Miyagi was more than happy to lose himself to the feeling of Shinobu's hand on his cock, his tongue on his lips.

It lasted about as long as Miyagi thought it would; after a few minutes, Shinobu cried out, hips jerking briefly, before finally collapsing on top of Miyagi. The younger man pulled away hastily, pulling the condom off his own cock, dropping it in the bin beside the bed and falling back on top of his lover. Shinobu's face was still pink, and Miyagi didn't know whether he was overexerted, or embarrassed, and didn't care to guess. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the box at the side of the bed, cleaned himself until he felt more comfortable in his own skin, and lay back down on the bed. He vaguely reached to stroke Shinobu's hair, but the younger man flinched away from his touch.

"Shinobu," Miyagi said, feeling vaguely annoyed by his lover's stubbornness. Shinobu grunted and turned over.

"Sorry."

"It's alright," Miyagi sighed, kissing the top of the boy's head; was still wasn't sure what he was accepting an apology for.

"You didn't like it."

"… no, I didn't," Miyagi affirmed. He tried to think of something to change the subject, because he knew that the conversation couldn't end well, but Shinobu spoke again before he had the chance.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I said I didn't like it, but it wasn't bad. I just didn't like it."

"But I..."

"Don't worry about it."

Miyagi sighed, reaching over to the other side of the bed to grab the cigarette Shinobu had pulled from his mouth earlier. Shinobu curled around him as soon as he was comfortable, face buried in the pillow.

"... Miyagi?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," Shinobu mumbled, burying further into the pillow.

Miyagi smiled, lighting his smoke and lying back comfortably.

"Next time, let's just stick to what we know works."

Shinobu nodded slowly, and Miyagi sighed, relieved, idly toying with the younger man's hair as he smoked.

As long as they were both happy, everything was fine.

END