Prolouge

It was dark. It reeked of shit and last night's corn muffins. What is this fantastic place? It's my anus – this is the place where our story begins….

Chapter 1

Knuckles was delectably sucking on Rouge's supple nipples. "Rouge," Knuckles questioned as his lips came off of her left nipple "Have you been lactating?"

"Oh Knux…" Rouge sighed "I… I have something to confess to you."

She grabbed Knuckle's hand and took his head off of her chest. She sat down calmly, but was deeply concerned; she was holding something back.

"What is it my love?" Knuckles asked

"Knuckles… I'm pregnant… with JT's child."

Knuckles stood up in rage and busted out in anger. "Who is this ass-muncher named 'JT'?"

Chapter 2

Soaring over the clouds we find our hero Rob Schneider flying on a G6. He was reading this story and he yelled out loud, "This is a perfect idea for one of my movies. I shall go down to Paramount and pitch it to those fuckers."

So he told that Filipino pilot to take him to Hollywood ASASCGAB (As soon as she could give a blowjob). And she did just that. After suckling on Rob Schneider's hard Jewish member, he went up to the CEO of Paramount and pissed on his fucking face.

Chapter 3

Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare, with their noses in the air
High hats and Arrowed collars, white spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime, for a wonderful time
If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits,
Puttin' on the ritz.
Different types who wear a daycoat, pants with stripes
And cut away coat, perfect fits,
Puttin' on the ritz.
Dressed up like a million dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)
Come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks
Or umbrellas in their mitts
Puttin' on the Ritz

Tips his hat just like an english chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy (very snappy)
You'll declare it's simply topping to be there
And hear them swapping smart titbits
Puttin' on the ritz!

Chapter 4

So one day when I was taking a massive load of shit on my kitchen counter, I noticed that we were out of bread.

"Gosh darn it!" I said "There's no way I can eat my shit sandwich!"

So when I figured out there was no bread, I drove over to Fred Meyer's and asked those motherfuckers if they had any plain Wonderbread.

"You eat Wonderbread? That stuff tastes like shit."

"Well no shit Sherlock, I'm making a shit sandwich." I responded.

Chapter 5

Poseidon was pissed today. Someone leaked period blood into his Frappichino. The fish pissed and then drank their piss. But worst of all, sharks were finger-fucking the models at J.C. Penny. Poseidon looked to his left and saw chaos ensuing. "God dammit" he bursted. "Why the fuck is everyone so fucking stupid?"

Chapter 6

So yeah.

Chapter 7

The president goes to the scene of the greatest tragedy on the face of the planet. Standing in front of the crying crowd of citizens he states, "My fellow Americans, today will live in infamy. Today at 4:25 pm terrorists have hijacked a pair of Boeing 7-47's and have crashed them into the McDonalds on 5th Street. America, I am fucking pissed. You know what? Those guys served me the best apple pies in the whole goddamn world. Now these motherfucking cunt faced terrorists have bombed where I get my pies. FUCK. I am so fucking pissed off I'm going to personally get Osama's dead corpse from under the sea and take pictures of him fucking a goat."

Chapter 8

We return to Rob Schneider walking into Paramount Studios and yelling to the CEO, "I have a big penis!" and the abruptly stomps out. 15 minutes later he stops back in the studios with a bewildered look on his face and shouts "I have a great idea!"

"What is this great idea, Rob?" asked the CEO. "Okay," deeply whispers Rob "it starts off in a dark place.
It reeked of shit and last night's corn muffins –"

"Brilliant!" Shouted the CEO "Our only condition is that Adam Sandler is the star and you're just an extra."

Rob falls down on his knees and cries, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chapter 9

Cars go "vroom".

Chapter 10

As he cradled her ghostly corpse he sheds a single tear.

"My… my… my… blowup doll. She's deflated."

The weeaboo cries in agony as Miku has now fallen.

Chapter 11

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PIZZA MAN GETS IT ON WITH A SEA TURTLE? YOU GET DOMINOS! DOMINONS! DOMINOUS MOTHERFUCKA. SO WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I AM CRAZY. NEWT GINGRINCH IS A PANZY WHO STANDS FOR SHIT. FAWKING SHIT. POO POO OUT MY BUNGHOLE.

Chaper 12 (yes we know)

Chocolate shit! Come get you chocolate shit! We got surpluses of chocolate SHIT! We got chocolate shit MILK chocolate shit BURGERS chocolate shit chocolate shit!

Chapter 13

Mew-two and Mew were having Pokemon incest sex. Mew was screaming in pleasure while her clone brother gave it to her on the boat city. Pallet City had a little known town across the ocean called "Boat City". It was filled with Pokemons and humans who wanted to have dirty, girty, sexy sex that would be considered taboo in other places around the world of Pokemonz.

Chapter 14

There once was a boy named Biggity Flibbity. He lived on a planet named Hibbity Dippity. Biggity Flibbity once wondered who the hell Gilbitty Diggity was, so he went on a great adventure to the land of Zippity Dillidy. He was never heard from again.

Chapter 15

Although butterflies are known for their eliquent features and peacful like ways of living, up close… they look like scary ass motherfucking monsters.

Chapter 16

Test drive it.

Unlock it.

Undo it.

Unscrew it.

Once you get the maximum sensation, you'll be loving the penetration.