Polluted

Chapter 1 - Sakura

"I HATE MY LIFE!" Throwing her cell phone to her living room wall, she collapsed onto the floor. She crawled to her bathroom. Questions ran through her head as she was rummaging through her medicine cabinet. Confusion swallowed her and the tiny bit of self-confidence she had left.

Desperately, she reached for the sharp edge she had been using for the past few years. She had been craving for it the entire school day. She pulled up her sleeve, revealing a pale wrist followed by the scars she made before and stood memorized. Then the overwhelming helplessness and disgust washed over her.

She remembered how stupid and wrong she was about everything. Self hatred poured over her and she cut. Relief past through while filling in the space of the blood that now flowed down her hand. Again, she cut herself. It was an agonizing process combined with pain and pleasure. She started to think about her best friends Tomoyo and Meiling. She thought about him. I hate my life. Why does everything have to be like this?

In every school there were groups. Always with groups. Always with groups that categorized each other. It was sick and disgusting living in it everyday. She was the school's hottest girl, president of the school committee, leader of the cheerleading squad, as well as lead performer in vocal, drama, and art. The girl that every guy wanted to be seen with and every girl strived for. She was named the "IT" girl in the school newspaper as well as in several magazines.

Everyone wanted to be her, to be seen with her but it was so annoying. Confusing because sometimes she didn't know who wanted to be on her side and who would side against her the moment a rumor was based on her. She thought that her boyfriend was on her side. Did she have to be a girlfriend that stalked every move her boyfriend made? Did she place her trust on the wrong person? Maybe they weren't meant to be together. Should she just let it go or should she just ignore it?

She transferred to this school in hope of escaping her abusive father, drunken mother and pervert of a brother. She had her own apartment, her own space with money she saved for years. Finally it was coming true. The life she always wanted. She registered to be in the school nearby. She transformed herself and made sure no one in the school would ever know how she was like before. If they knew she was a freak then they wouldn't like her at all.

When she entered the school, she made sure to find out who was popular and who wasn't. She couldn't afford a mistake this time. Two days later, the people in the popular group, Tomoyo and Meiling, became her friends and she became popular. She signed up for the cheerleading team, vocal, drama and art programs. She had gotten to be leader in every single one and was voted to be the president of the student council.

Upon transforming herself, she made sure she looked beautiful. Acted fun and laid back. Drank alcohol when needed to and took drugs when they wanted her to. A few weeks after, he asked her out. He was the most popular in the high school; the hottest and leading person in gym and sports. She said yes. She thought that now, everything was perfect but she was wrong.

Life in high school started to become consuming. People started to spread rumors about her. She knew that this would be the start of her downfall but who had started it? She ordered someone from her fan club to find out. She should have stopped because she found out a week later on her own. Her boyfriend was having sex with her friends. Both of them. Both of them betrayed her. She trusted her boyfriend to come back to her however, so she ignored it.

Cutting herself was the best way to ignore it. It was the only way to ignore the imperfections of her life. That her boyfriend was cheating on her with her friends. Finally the last straw came when she saw Syaoran getting stranded by Meiling when he was suppose to wait for her. Tomoyo was giggling her horrible little laugh while video taping. They knew she would see it. They knew that she wouldn't do anything about it. That's how life works.

She decided that this was enough. She would cut and cut herself and then take the pain pills she bought the night before. She would show them, those utterly stupid fools. She would be victorious. I'll make them pay. She had asked people to do favors for her that the next day. Their lockers would be full of bugs and insects. They would have graffiti on their houses tomorrow. She imagined the lovely horrified screams those ugly mouths could produce. It was music in her ears.

Though, right now, it was time to cut. Cut with the sharp little blade from the bathroom cabinet. Cut and cut her arms, legs, body. It would be a sea of red. How pretty it would be. She giggled and giggled until she started hysterically laughing. Laughing until her stomach hurt. She didn't need the pills anymore. Cutting was enough, it was plentiful. It was perfection.

-5 years later-

A couple stood around Sakura's gravestone. "She went crazy." Tomoyo choked a sob. "She thought we were all planning to sabotage her. She must have been so lonley." Syaoran put a hand on her shoulder. "She's better this way. She was suffering a lot. It eased her from her pain" Tomoyo turned around screaming, "This is OKAY? She thought she transferred here! She thought her parents were alive. They were dead ten years ago! They're all dead! She didn't even have a brother! She talked and talked about her family and how she got away and how everything was going to be perfect. Why did she go crazy? Why?"

Tomoyo sank down on her knees. Syaoran crouched down, cradling her in his arms until she stopped crying. They stood up and walked away. The rings on their hands glittered. They walked together, away from her. Maybe she would finally rest in peace.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.

A/N: This is a repost of the story.

3/30/2010: Edited the chapter.

-Mel's Merleawe