Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold. – Andre Maurois
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It was over.
It was time to go back home.
Home.
A word that suddenly had less meaning than his whole entire life…
"Enjoy your flight sir."
He didn't respond. He didn't acknowledge. He wasn't even sure how he got to his seat, much less how he got off the plane when it arrived.
He had no luggage.
He had no carry on.
He had nothing.
"Where am I headed soldier?" The cab driver waited impatiently for a response. "Headed home?" He waited again. "Quantico?"
Gibbs rattled off an address and sat like a fixture when the car arrived at the destination he'd given.
"Here we are." He glanced back and took a long look at his passenger. "Fare's on me son…"
Gibbs blinked himself back into reality and stumbled out of the car without a thank you. He stood at the end of the drive way as memory after memory flooded over him. Could he go inside? Could he breathe in the scent? See the picture frames? Eat in their kitchen? Sleep in their bed?
Their kitchen.
Their bed.
Their home.
It was theirs…now it was his.
But he didn't want it.
He wanted them.
He took one slow deliberate step after another before arriving at his front step. His door was open…one less step he had to take. He sulked inside and found himself cowering in his dark basement before he had a chance to think…
It was cold there. Desolate. Secure. No one could see the tears…no one could hear the cries…no one could feel his absolute mind numbing pain. He was alone…
No Kelly to come racing down the steps, begging to help with the boat.
No Shannon to bribe her to get to sleep.
No laughter.
No love.
No family.
No home…
He remained on the cold basement floor for what felt like days…ignoring the incessant ringing of their, no…his telephone…and the knocking at his front door.
No one mattered without them. Nothing and no one.
One morning his swollen eyes awakened to a foreign yet familiar face.
"Thought I'd find you here…it's where I'd be." The gruff voice was a nice vacation from the silence.
Gibbs' body felt weak but he managed to lean himself against his work bench and make eye contact with the man. "Case closed."
"Figured that too…"
"What do you want?"
He thought for a moment. "Don't know actually…just thought you might need a visitor…call it a gut feeling…"
Gibbs ran a hand over his face. "I'm good thanks."
"Yeah, you look great." He started to pace a bit, running a smooth hand over the hull of the boat. "How you plan to get this thing outta here?"
"Burn it." Came the sudden response. "Now if you don't mind…"
"Oh right, I'll leave you to your wallowing…wouldn't want you to miss out on that."
Gibbs found his footing and moved towards him. "You don't know a damn thing about me…"
"I know you were hoping that killing that Mexican would dull the pain….I also know that it didn't work…did it?"
Gibbs eyes shifted. "Go to hell."
"Oh I'm well on my way, I'm sure...just wanted to make sure you weren't."
Gibbs understood what he was implying. "I can take care of myself."
"Of course you can."
Gibbs glared at him.
"You think that stare intimidates me soldier? Try harder."
"Get out," was all Gibbs could manage."Now!"
"Alright, alright." He threw his hands up in his own defense. "Just don't stay down here for too long…the darkness will get to ya."
"Not the darkness I'm worried about." Gibbs spoke in an almost whisper, hoping his visitor hadn't heard.
The man stopped at the stairs. "This new coffee shop opened down the street…buy you a cup?"
Gibbs shook his head.
"Fine…how about you buy me one? You do owe me one, remember?"
"Yeah," Gibbs muttered. "I won't ever forget."
He waved towards himself. "Come on…sunlight and caffeine will do ya good."
He contemplated for a full minute before relenting. The trip up the stairs was slow and deliberate…just as the steps towards his house had been. When they reached the front steps his new friend stopped unexpectedly.
"Aren't you gonna lock the door?"
"No," he kept walking. "Hard enough for me to go inside as it is."
"I see," he placed a swift hand on Gibbs shoulder as they moved towards his car. "Fresh air's nice isn't it? I swear one day I'm gonna retire on a beach where I'll never run out…" He quickly noticed Gibbs disinterest. "You awake over there Probie?"
He looked at him abruptly. "Probie?"
The man simply smiled as he started the car. "Let's get that coffee…"