chapter 1
AN: hi everyone this is my first attemp at writing so your constructive critisizm is highly appreciated.
It was Thursday evening and the egoist lovers were relishing the taste of yet another one of Nowaki's delicious dinners in the sanctuary of their home. It was then that the younger male finally had the courage to break the comfortable silence and speak his mind.
"Hiro-san" the older male's constant train of thought was cut by his lover's familiar and comforting voice.
"Hmm" Hiroki's attention was quickly caught by the slight apprehension in his lover's voice and his seemingly apprehensive demeanor. It would have gone unnoticed by a stranger but given the time they've spent together and the nature of their relationship Hiroki had learned how to spot every little nuance.
"What's wrong Nowaki?" Inquired the older male.
"Well nothing's…wrong…really there's no need to look so worried Hiro-san" the young man quickly caught the worried look on his older lover and hurried to appease him.
"It's just I've been meaning to talk to you about something and I just couldn't find a good time to tell you" Nowaki started in an attempt to calm his lover's increasingly worried state.
"Really Hiro-san it's nothing bad I just couldn't get to it because I was worried about your reaction and I didn't want to tell you last week since you were really busy with grading."
Hiroki was definitely listening now more than ever and his mind quickly started racing and jumping to the worst possible conclusions. Another man…or worse…a woman, or maybe he just wasn't interested in him anymore since he was always so busy.
The older man always worried that someday he would be going through this dreaded confrontation, and he was in no way ready for it…not now, not ever.
The appeasing manner that his lover spoke in however, did manage to calm him down but not completely ease his growing apprehension.
"Well what is it? You can tell me right now I'm listening." Hiroki now put down his chopsticks and was intently waiting for his lover to start talking.
Nowaki was still hesitant to approach the topic but he knew he had to do it now as time was closing in on him and he had to know what Hiro-san thought about this. Nowaki was not the type of man to make the same mistake twice.
"Actually Hiro-san, I received an invitation to this event held by one of my senpai doctors in America it's going to be held there and the most prestigious doctors from around the world will be attending."
At this point Nowaki sneaked a peak at his older lover and finding him to be seemingly calm he found the courage to continue.
"He also offered to pay for flight and living expenses during my stay and asked me to give him a reply by tonight. I'm sorry for telling you on such short notice but I had to get your ok on this before I took any immediate action.
After a short pause he quietly said, "I don't want things to end up like last time."
Hiroki was touched by his lover's consideration and the fact that he was asking for his approval for something that would be beneficial to him.
It was times like this that Hiroki took notice of their age difference, and the fact that he was the older of the two not the other way around.
Hiroki couldn't help but think that his lover really looked like a child right now, one who was scared that he was about to be scolded by his parents. This apprehension while it did seem cute at first greatly wounded him. He didn't want Nowaki to be afraid to talk to him; he wanted to improve their communication skills as it had caused them many problems in the past.
Nowaki was surprised and delighted by his partner's next action.
Hiroki got up from his chair and slowly moved to the other side of the table and sat on his lover's lap. He lifted Nowaki's chin up and held it so that their eyes were on the same level, while his other hand stroked the young man's hair.
Nowaki was delighted by the older man's unusually bold approach, and apart from the slight tint to his cheeks, Hiroki looked completely serious.
"Nowaki, do you want to go?" Hiroki's voice had lost almost all the growl that was usually present.
"Well …It was quite an honor to be invited, and it's a good opportunity to make good connections and to get acquainted with the other doctors.
A bit of apprehension could still be noted in the young man's voice, and Hiroki sighed in obvious disappointment.
"It's ok Hiro-san it's not that important anyway I'll just ca…" Nowaki words were cut off by his lover's soft lips gently pressing against his effectively silencing him.
It wasn't a heated kiss where their tongues fought for dominance, it wasn't lustful or filled with passion, and it wasn't arousing in anyway. No, it was a mere pressing of the lips, but despite it being so, it held so much more love and affection than any other lust-filled kiss that they've ever shared.
Nowaki closed his eyes since they were previously wide open in shock at his Hiro-san's second bold conduct that evening (and hopefully not the last.) It wasn't that Hiroki was usually unaffectionate, far from it actually. It's just that his way of showing it was a bit more subtle.
It was actually Nowaki's secret pleasure to watch and treasure the little things Hiroki did that would go unnoticed to the untrained eye. But as it became a habit of his to always watch his Hiro-san, and the things he discovered were extremely blush worthy.
For example, and this was a habit of Hiro-san's, if they were having a meal together and Nowaki had a sip of water, he would take the same glass and drink from the same place that his lover's lips had. Nowaki hadn't taken notice of it at first but considering the fact that he had his own glass of water right next to him, and the ever present blush to his cheeks, it was truly quite obvious, and tremendously cute.
When Hiroki finally broke the kiss he still held a calm demeanor. He moved his hand from the younger man's chin to stroke his cheek while his other was still gently running through his lover's hair.
"Nowaki," Hiroki's voice now lost all its gruffness and Nowaki thought he saw the hints of a rare smile on his lover's lips but his eyes however looked a little sad.
"There's no need to look so nervous, you know I would never stop you from doing something that you really wanted, especially if it's beneficial for your career."
Nowaki was awed by the amount of love in his lover's voice and the tender look in his eyes.
"Hiro –san" Nowaki's voice seemed almost breathless
"Listen Nowaki," Hiroki's voice was gentle yet firm, "don't ever feel hesitant to talk to me about anything, we can't let little communication ruin our relationship like before ok?"
Nowaki gave him a weak nod in confirmation.
"Also Nowaki, I know I don't say this as often as I should but…" Hiroki was about to look down as he thought of what he was about to say, but for some reason he had a feeling that told him that he must look in Nowaki's eyes, that he must see whether or not his feelings had reached his lover. It was an unexplainable feeling really, but it was a must.
"I really…I really do love you Nowaki," after a slight pause Hiroki decided to throw all caution out the window, "ai shiteru Nowaki"
Nowaki was aw struck for the umpteenth time that night. He had never thought he's get that kind of response out of his lover, but this was really something. The most he had hoped for was an "idiot, do what you want, it's for work right?" or something along those lines. But this, this is something more than he would've ever hoped for, and he couldn't help but lift himself and his lover off the chair while taking his lover's lips in a searing kiss.
Hiroki exclaimed in surprise at his younger lover's sudden action, and blushed a pretty crimson.
"Nowaki, what are you doing you idiot!" the older man's cheeks were really burning now but deep down (although he would never admit it) he was really happy he'd managed to say what he did and the fact that his words had gotten such a reaction from his lover was even more gratifying.
Nowaki now had Hiro-san cradled in his arms with the older man's legs wrapped around his waist, his arms around his neck, and his face hidden where the young man's shoulder met his neck.
"You're so cute Hiro-san" Nowaki was now beyond ecstatic at the outcome of this conversation, and his previous fears at arousing his lover's anger or bringing up bitter memories for older man were now long gone and replaced with absolute bliss.
"Shut up, you're such an idiot; I can't believe you were so worried about this that you wouldn't even talk to me, you know that little communication was what almost ruined our relationship before. It's just two weeks anyway…idiot"
Nowaki couldn't help but smile at his lover's little rant but it quickly faded as he noted a hint of sadness at the end.
"Sorry Hiro-san, but you don't have to worry I'll call you every day when I'm there"
"You better" Hiroki's arms tightness tightened around his lover's neck and Nowaki couldn't help but smile at his Hiro-san's cuteness, but refrained from saying anything as to not anger his irritable lover.
The two lovers had now reached the bedroom and Nowaki stood in the doorway with his lover still in his arms.
"You know Hiro-san, you're right about the communication thing and I believe that skin-ship is the best type of communication there is" Nowaki was now sensually tugging at Hiroki's earlobe and his voice now had a lustful edge to it.
"You perverted idiot! This isn't what I meant "
"But it's pretty effective don't you think" Nowaki now walked in the room and threw his seemingly unwilling lover on their bed.
Hiroki waited in silent anticipation for what's to come as his lover's lips closed in on his, but just before their lips met Nowaki uttered the last intelligible words for the night.
"Thank you Hiro-san, I love you" then their lips met and the world ceased to exist until the sun rose the next morning.
to be continued...
AN: so what do you guys think? did i manage to keep the characters IC?
Did you like it? hate it? share your thoughts.
ps. "ai shiteru" is the strongest way of saying I love you in japanese.