It's my fault. I was smug with other moms, telling everyone that my daughter never went through the terrible twos. She never went through them. I was lucky. Ha, my luck expired now that my girl is three. Is there such a thing as the 'terrible threes' and, if so, does it last long?
Currently, my once pleasant two year old is now three years old and having a terrible tantrum. She's been crying her little heart out since Iceberg left the room. The event is finishing and we need to go but my little Lizzy doesn't care. She came here to see the 'pengun' and she wants to see the 'pengun.' In fact, neither of us knows anything about hockey. Lizzy saw a poster at the community centre and since then she's asked me every day when she gets to see the 'pengun.'
I learned that once a year, the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey team has a party for some of the kids at the community centre. It's mostly single parents, like me, who use the services at the centre and we always appreciate events like this for our kids. Of course, neither Lizzy nor I know anything about hockey. I don't think Lizzy even knows what hockey is but she's been so excited to see the Pen's mascot. Unfortunately, the afternoon has to end and the players and mascot have left. I tried to console her but Lizzy is in full tantrum and I've learned that you can only wait it out. While they are voracious, they usually don't last too long. I can only give the organizers an apologetic look as they wait for us to leave. We're the last ones left of course. I can just image what they are thinking about me as a parent. Thankfully, long ago I stopped caring what others think of me.
"Maybe this will help."
I turn when I hear a man's voice. The first thing I notice is how tall he is; although most people are taller than I am at 5"1'.
"Pengun" I hear Lizzy say and I notice the stuffed mascot in the man's hand.
He raises an eyebrow and asks "may I?"
I can only nod as continue to stare at him. He's gorgeous; beautiful eyes that could be green or brown, a slight curl in his dark chestnut hair and full, pink lips that make me yearn for them to touch mine. Wow, it's been a long time since I've thought that way. Oh my! As he walks to Lizzy and then crouches down in front of her, I'm stunned by how wide his shoulders are, waist narrow and, my oh my, that ass. Lizzy hiccups, which brings my attention back to her.
'Is this what you're looking for?" the man asks Lizzy.
Lizzy nods and reaches out for the stuffed Iceberg. The man hands it to her and she hugs the penguin to her then sits on the floor to look over him thoroughly. The man straightens and turns back to me.
"I don't know how to thank you" I say to him.
He smiles, one that reaches his eyes, and says "you're welcome. She certainly knows what she wants."
I chuckle and respond "yes and it was that penguin. She followed him around the whole time he was here but, when he left, she had a bit of a meltdown. She doesn't do it often but is very successful when she does."
He chuckles and we both look at Lizzy. She's currently kissing the stuffed animal and hugging him to her. I look back at the man and his smile knocks me out. Wow, he really packs a punch. I wonder if he is part of the staff here. He turns that smile up in wattage and I'm almost rocked back.
"Kids have meltdowns; it happens. I'm glad she's happy now."
We stand there simply staring at each other and smiling until it becomes weird. It's not uncomfortable; just weird. I'm standing here staring at a stranger while my daughter is kissing and hugging a stuffed animal. That thought brings my eyes back to Lizzy. I guess we really do need to leave since the place has emptied out. There's only a woman at the side of the room looking very impatient and talking on her phone. I look back at the man beside me and then it hits me: he doesn't work for the Pittsburgh Penguins, he is the Pittsburgh Penguins.
"Crosby" I whisper when I realize who he is although I realize that I say it out loud until I see him hold out his hand.
"Sidney" he says.
I stare at this hand for a few seconds before taking it in my own.
"Right. Sidney. I'm Catherine." I'm still surprised that I'm standing in front of the Penguins captain and star player when Lizzy squeals and says "izzy!"
I look down and Lizzy has attached herself to Sidney's leg as she grins up at him. He chuckles and crouches down in front of her.
"It's nice to meet you Lizzy. I'm Sidney."
Lizzy keeps smiling at him and replies "Sidwee." She's having trouble with the 'n' in his name. I hope he's ok with it. Sometimes people without kids try to correct them when they're wrong and I know Lizzy is still too close to her tantrum to take that well.
"You know Lizzy" Sidney begins. "My friends call me Sid."
Lizzy smiles at him and repeats "Sid." She manages his nickname well.
"Lizzy" I say and wait until she looks at me. "Thank Sid for the penguin."
She looks back at Sidney and, surprising him, throws her arms around his neck and says "thank you Sid." This is one of our lessons that has stuck at least; but, she has surprised me too when she hugs him. With ease, Sidney hugs her back and says "you're welcome Lizzy."
"Sid, I'm sorry to interrupt but we really do need to get you to the meeting." I look at the impatient woman as she says this to Sidney.
Sid stands up and turns to me. "I'm sorry, but I do need to get going. It was nice to meet you Catherine."
I feel a shiver when he says my name and find myself automatically saying "you too."
He looks down at Lizzy and says "take good care of Iceberg, Lizzy." He ruffles her hair and then heads to the door. After one last look and smile over his shoulder, he heads out the door with the woman and her phone.
I look down at my daughter and she is inspecting her penguin again. She looks so happy right now. It really was a great idea to come here today even if I had to take time from work. It's going to require some extra hours next week to make up the money lost today but her smile makes it totally worth it.
On the way home, all Lizzy can talk about is her new penguin and she shows it off to every new person who comes on the bus and sits near us. It's really cute and keeps her busy until it's our stop. The events of the day catch up with her when we get off at our stop and I need to carry her home. Thankfully our apartment is close to the stop.
When we get off the elevator at our floor, Lizzy wiggles out of my arms and runs down the hall to Miss Sally's door. Miss Sally has lived across the hall from us since Lizzy and I moved in. She's retired, has no family in the area and has taken to being a grandmother for Lizzy. Actually, Lizzy and I don't have any family either so I think we've all adopted each other. Miss Sally takes care of Lizzy when I'm working and I don't know how I'd be able to survive without her. With Miss Sally's help, I was able to get off of food stamps and welfare. I got a job and was able to provide a home for my daughter on my own.
When I found myself seventeen and pregnant, my foster family kicked me out. They weren't much of a family anyway but it was the most difficult time in my life. I snuck into a friend's house every night after her parents went to bed for a month before she went away to college. It took that entire month for me to decide to keep the baby. I was immediately going to have an abortion but something kept from doing it; same thing for adoption.
I saw a flyer for a program at the community centre that helps pregnant teens. By then I'd turned eighteen and didn't need to worry about running from the foster system anymore; but, I wanted to do everything on my own and didn't think that I needed anyone's help. I went to the program thinking that I could get some free stuff from them. The first thing they did was make an appointment for me with a doctor and that's when it happened; I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.
It's hard to describe, even to myself, what happened in that moment. I knew that I would do anything to keep my baby safe. My pride didn't matter. My independence didn't matter. All that mattered in the world was my baby. That program and the people who run it saved my life. More importantly, they helped me create my baby's healthy life. I got into public housing and financial support programs. They taught me to be healthy for the baby and how to take care of the baby when she did arrive.
It took me a year but I managed to get a job as a waitress and found my own apartment. As I watch Miss Sally and Lizzy together, I know how lucky I am to have found such a wonderful neighbour who has grown to be family. We say goodbye to Miss Sally and head into our own apartment. Lizzy goes to our room, it's only a one bedroom apartment, and I go into the kitchen. I have to make some meals for the next few days so it's easier to have dinner when I'm working. I hate for Miss Sally to have to cook as well as watch Lizzy. As I go about my task, the last thing on my mind is the Penguins captain and when our paths will cross again.
The event was fun as it usually is with kids. Yearly we have a party for some of the kids and their parents in the community. There are always a couple of kids who make you laugh and a couple that tug at your heart. One of the reasons I love doing these things is to remember the work I can do in the community of Pittsburgh that has been so good to me. I also do them for the fun. Too many of the obligations I have are tedious; but, the ones with kids are usually a great time.
I couldn't have predicted that a little girl would steal my heart this time. With her blond hair in pigtails and her big blue eyes filled with tears, her cries went straight to my heart. The PR guys were ushering us out when I heard the little girl cry "pengun!" Once in the hall, I had Jennifer run and get me a stuffed version of Iceberg and then I went back into the room. Thankfully everyone else had left and I was able to give the stuffed animal to the girl. Her smile and still wet eyes were beautiful.
I bring my attention back to the team meeting. Dan's right about our last game, the first game of the season and our home opener; it was a train wreck. I may have had a goal and an assist but I also did my share of fucking up. It's a shortened season and every game counts even more than usual. The lockout is over and we need to be better and fast. To have lost our home opener just makes it that much more painful.
As Granato takes over to talk about the PK, I let my mind wander again back to the kids; to one kid actually and definitely her mom. Catherine was a slightly bigger version of her daughter. She was almost a foot shorter than me and had the same blond hair and bright blue eyes of her daughter. There was something about both the mom and girl that made me want to gather them into my arms and protect them.
I turn my attention back to the meeting when Dan takes over again. We run more film from the last game and then the meeting ends. Most of us go to the locker room to change for working out. We had our on ice practice before the lunch party with the kids and now most of us will spend time in the gym. Before I change, I duck back out of the locker room and grab Jennifer.
"Jen, the mom and daughter I was talking to at the end of the party today, do you have their contact information?" I ask her.
"I can get it Sid" she responds.
"If I have room in my box for the Sunday afternoon game, can you make sure that they get tickets? I'd also like to ensure a visit from Iceberg for the kids."
Jennifer has been making notes as I talk and then looks up at me when she's finished.
"I can definitely get that done Sid."
I thank her and head back into the locker room. As I change into my workout gear, I think back over my short conversation with Catherine and Lizzy. I don't actually know if they like hockey. Hmm, I'm invited them to a hockey game and don't know if they like the game. I'll definitely have to make sure that Iceberg visits them. Maybe we can add some Iceberg stuff to the gift bags we give the kids. I'm not sure what's in them but I'm sure we can add stuff.
The workout goes by quickly, as it usually does, with the music blaring and the sound of weights banging. Today I'm focusing on core and back so lots of plyometrics and some weights. I'm one of the last ones out of the gym but there are lots of guys still in the lounge grabbing something to eat. I join them before grabbing a shower.
"Those kids were cute today" Duper says.
"Oh oh, does that mean number five might be on the way?" Kuni jokes.
"No way, four is enough for us; plus que suffisant" Duper replies.
"You were busy as usual Sid" Kuni says when he sees me come in the room.
I simply nod. They know that it usually takes me longer to do that kind of meet and greet thing. They also know that I won't say no to any kid and usually stay as long as the kids are there.
"What was that about with the whining little girl?" Despres asks me.
"She wasn't whining" I reply. "She was really upset that Iceberg left. She came to see the penguin and that didn't mean us."
The guys laugh. The guys with kids understand completely. I can see that the younger guys like Despres don't get it but won't argue the point. Fuck, when did I start thinking of them as 'younger guys?' Maybe it's just that I've been at this a lot longer than they have regardless of age. I've always had to do PR and media stuff for at least as long as I can remember. Long before Rimouski even, I was asked for autographs and had to talk to local media.
I hope that they come to the game on Sunday. A few years ago, I bought one of the boxes and use it for various kids' charities and groups in the community. I can't see them before the game and it's usually too late when I'm done after the game; but, they get to watch the game, are given dinner and snacks and receive those gift bags with toys, Penguins' stuff and gift cards to local stores. Maybe I'll see if Catherine and Lizzy want to come down to the locker room after the game. We could get Lizzy a kid sized jersey and sign it for her.
Huh. I don't think that I've ever taken this much of an interest in a kid from one of those events but this little girl has stayed in my head. I can see those big blue eyes and how cute she sounded when she tried to say my name. I liked being able to make her smile too. Yeah, I'm definitely going to have passes ready for them to come down to the locker room after the game. Hopefully the little one won't be too disappointed that Iceberg won't be there and all she gets to see is me.