Disclaimer: I don't own the Clique.

I introduce you to the tenshot- Letters to Lisi.

I'm starting with Derrington. XD

It's short, because I don't think Derrick would have the attention span to write a long letter.

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Dear Lisi,

Yo. I'm Derek. Derek Harrington, that is. I am not Derek Jeter, although I wish I had my own Gatorade. Does he play tennis? I forget. I think Josh said he plays baseball. Okay. We have a lot to talk about. You're messing up my life and all. That's not cool, so butt out! I liked it the way it was, in the beginning of seventh grade, when I didn't have to deal with you. So you need to leave and all. Because you're getting on my nerves more than Cam does when he steals my soccer ball. There are a lot of reasons why I am mad at you right now. ) : (you made me sad!)

First of all… why the hell am I not going out with Massie? What is wrong with you?! So, everything is going smoothly on Massington Cruise Line, and suddenly, you crash the ship into an iceberg named "Dempsey," who's the Tarzan of BOCD. What kind of name is Dempsey, anyways? It sounds like dimple. That's a weird word.

Not to mention how I had some sort of "problem" with Massie- I mean seriously, yes, I think she's immature, but I would never in a million years say that to her face. She'd flip out on me and all, as you can see has already happened. I don't like when Massie flips out on me. She's all like... "Derrick, are you blahblahblah? Then why are you blahblahblahing?" It gets really annoying after a while.

Also, why do you keep changing the spelling of my name? Am I Derek, or Derrick? Now I remember who Derek Jeter is. He plays baseball! So I like Derek better, I think, because Josh told me that that's the name of the Yankees shortstop. Josh says that everyone loves that guy, and everyone loves me, so I think that would be the cooler one. Also, you're seriously confusing my mom. She picks up my birth certificate, and sometimes, it says Derek, and other times it says Derrick. She thinks that she's suffering from a disease, and now you have her at the psychiatrist's office, every Monday at exactly 3:00 PM.

And I'm really mad at you for one REALLY BIG REASON. I. Don't. Do. Jeans. I wore pants ONCE in my whole life, only because it was below freezing. And then, you ruin my streak because I just have to get revenge on Massie. Hello, if it weren't for you, we'd still be happily together. And I wanted to get into that world records book, next to the picture of that guy with a million tattoos! But seriously, dude… wait, you're not a dude. Whatever. Anyways, I don't like jeans. They're all... stiff. And you can't really play soccer in jeans, so I can do without them.

Why do you keep pausing our lives? It gets boring after a while. We just sit there, doing nothing, until you come, and you're all, "Hi guys! Okay, so Massie, go break up with Derrick. Cam, try to seduce Claire." No offense or anything, but you bore me. You think you're so cool, controlling everyone's lives and everything. Actually, that's kind of like Massie. Now that I think about, I don't really want Massie back anymore. Dimple... I mean, Dempsey, can have her.

So, Lisi… can I call you Lisi? Yes, yes I can, because we have almost matching last names. Harrison-Harrington. WEIRD!

YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

SO START IT. NOW. YES, RIGHT NOW.

FIX MY LIFE!

MAKE IT SNAPPY.

CHOP CHOP!

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter (Cam said I should be polite).

: ) (smiley face!)

Love,

Derek Harrington

P.S. Can I have my Adidas shorts back? PLEASE?

P.P.S. I DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU! :p