So my sister and I got very bored on a trip and decided to spew out crap. This is us talking to each other without our family noticing, the entire conversation I might add. The parts of the story that have a little mark (such as this -) in front of it are the parts that I wrote, the parts that are normal are the parts that she wrote. I am very sorry for what you are about to read. My deepest condolences.

DISCLAIMER- we do not own One Piece, or any other show mentioned in this fanfic.

Sup.

You dumb apple, what the point of this?

Im really bored and the car is silent. Plus this way we can talk about the stories you are writing without anyone hearing that you are writing fanfiction.

Umm… thanks I guess… Gotta love Nox Arcana…

Heck ya. Okay. So I have two new ideas for a story and I need you to pick the one that you think sounds better.

Alright, sounds good. What are they?

Okay. So the first one is from one piece. It will take place at the end of thriller bark and after expelling all of Luffy's pain Kuma will send Zoro off after that to Mihawk's Island so all of the straw-hat think that Zoro is dead. I was thinking then after that that Zoro could either meet back up with the straw-hat in some BA way before Fishmen Island or on Fishmen Island. Or maybe Zoro could hitch a ride with Mihawk to Marineford. Idk, Mihawk's a good guy down deep right?

I think deep down he's a good guy, but again that just me… Meeting up at Marineford sounds like an awesome idea, I think that if you waited for him to join at Fishman Island something would be missing. It would just sound a bit off.

The other idea is a Hetalia fic where some (not all) of the countries go missing for some random reason that will be decided at a later date. And then are reincarnated as humans and then at 21 they turn back into nations and freak the crap out of those still there. I was thinking people that would go missing would be like America, Germany, japan, Prussia, Russia, and some others…

So… only your favorite ones go missing? It sounds like it'll be fun though. Just have them pop up and scare the ever-livin' out of Britain and France.

-well my idea was for them to be leaving Sabaody and then Zoro would like do a flying leap off of the island onto the boat yelling out curses at the crew on board and scare the crap out of them. I think that would be hilarious. Or find all of the straw-hats at fishmen island all fighting and join in and everyone else would be like WTF ZORO?!

-and not just my favorite ones would go missing. I just don't know who else to send off. The only problem with this is with the Hetalia fandom I would have to put a shiznit load of pairings into it…. :(…im no good with romance…as you could probably tell.

I can help with the romance bit if you like. I'm not the best, but I think I'm a bit better than you… And it all depends on who you want to scare. There's Britain, France, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, the Baltic States, all sorts of other countries. And having Zoro jump in onto the ship does kinda sound funny…

-Like I'd just have Zoro fly onto the ship with all three swords drawn and then he'll take Wado out of his mouth and just be all like "What the hell! You just decided to leave without me!?" and everyone else would be too shocked to speak. Idk. But with the countries it would be horrible because I'd have to do the stereotypical pairings like Germany x Italy, USUK, France and Canada, Japan and Greece and all the other ones?! There are like NO GIRLS!

So go find some girls! Go change the rule that says they can't be with regular humans! Problem solved! Or just do the yaoi types, or just ignore all pairings completely! JUST CALM DOWN! -_-

-: P don't tell me what to do.

$$HAT!

-Okay while we are doing this there is only one thing I can think of. Follow my lead kay?

…maybe… don't tell me what to do XP

-Okay so im gonna write a sentence and then you, let's try to make a story that at least sort of makes sense.

What kinda story?

-Idk I was gonna do one piece or something we both watch.

One Piece is fine.

-okay do you want to do it like we are now? With me using the little – things and you like you are?

Sure? I don't really care…

-okay here goes nothing

-Zoro stared out into the open courtyard from the execution platform that he was on.

He just stared blankly at the people gathered before him, waiting to see yet another pirate lose their head.

-His eyes fell on a few marines that had gathered to watch the 'great pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro' get decapitated.

Two Days Earlier…

-"Oi Marimo! Get your ass down here and help clean up Luffy's mess!" Sanji shouted

But Sanji's angry yell did little to wake the sleeping swordsman.

-"Marimo!" Sanji shouted again but this time walked up to the swordsman and kicked him in the head.

At the last second Zoro drew his sword and blocked the kick, sending a pissed off glare up to the blonde man.

-"What the hell shitty cook!? Are you trying to kill me in my sleep!?" Zoro hissed.

"And what if I am?! I wouldn't have to if you would just stay awake for more than three seconds!" Sanji yells back only to see that Zoro had once again fallen asleep.

-"Don't fall asleep when im talking to you shitty swordsman!" Sanji yelled and attacked again and a fight between the two broke out on deck.

"Yeah Zoro, stay awake for more than three seconds." Luffy says across the deck, impersonating Sanji.

-"Maybe if you were helping clean your own mess then they wouldn't be fighting in the first place!" Nami yelled punching all three on the head.

"I'm the captain, and captains have to do more… captain-ly thing… Like eating MEAT! Sanji! I want meat!" Luffy screams with an ever-present smile.

-"Not until your mess is completely clean!" Sanji yelled jumping to his feet and pointing angrily at their idiotic captain.

"Excuse me Nami-san, could I look at your-" Nami's hand flies in and punches Brook in the face. "I was only going to ask to look at the log Pose…" Brook mutters as he holds his face.

-"Why would you need to look at my log pose!?" Nami screeched at the skeleton.

"Because we seem to be nearing an island, but you had said earlier that it would be a day or two before we get there… Yohohohoho!" Brook's laugh echo's over the deck as Nami rushes to the railing.

-"What the heck is that?!" she yelled as she saw several abnormally large birds flying over what seemed to be a summer island.

"MEAT!" Luffy screams.

-everyone watched at their captain stretched out his arms on the ship and went flying directly at one of the birds.

"Wait, those aren't birds…" Ussop says as he looks closer. "Their angles!"

-and in the distance because apparently Luffy heard him they heard. "Angels are made of meat too!"

"Does that mean we're all dead?!" Chopper asks in a high pitched tone.

-"Well we could all just be high." Franky said as he turned the ship to the island as they all watched Luffy fall towards it after failing to catch an angel.

"Who cares, they are angels!" Sanji says with hearts in his eyes and Zoro sighs in the distance.

-'not again…' everyone thought looking at Sanji who already had the beginnings of a nosebleed.

"STRAW HAT?! IS THAT YOU?!" Bon Clay yells from the shore, waving his arms like crazy.

-"Bon-chan!?" they heard someone else yell and they all saw Luffy on the shore behind the strange man and they all sighed, they wouldn't have to search the entire island for their stupid captain.

"It is you! And all my other friends too! HELLO!" Bon Clay yells to the rest of the crew with a smile.

-Everyone just sweat drops at the smiling okama. Sanji actually pales as he looks at the other man.

Just when they thought it couldn't get any weirder, more people start to walk out of the nearby forest, including but not limited to: Marco, Ivan, Dragon, Vegapunk, Shanks, Camie, some old guy, Ichigo, Naruto, Natsu, and Ciel…

-Then the whole island vanished and Zoro had to dive into the sea to save a now drowning Luffy.

"Hurry, get them! Our new "imagine-people-who-we-know-and-others-who-don't-even-belong-in-this-show drug is a success!" A Vice Admiral yells from his ship as hundreds of marines jump over board to capture the pirates.

-"Shit we fell for it!" Sanji yelled as Zoro brought Luffy onto the deck and luckily Luffy recovered quickly because it looked like they had a huge fight ahead of them.

"What do you mean we're not supposed to be here?" Everyone who had previously been on the island asks from behind the Vice Admiral who turns around and promptly faints.

-"Shit we breathed it in too!" the marines yelled and the straw-hat all sweat dropped as they witnessed the marines flip out, and then they decided to make their escape and sailed away completely unnoticed in all of the panic.

Just as they sailed away the world fades to black and Zoro opens his eyes to the blue sky above him. "What the fuck just happened?" He mutters as he rolls over.

-and then he realizes he can't as he feels cuffs around his hands, legs, and neck. And his head begins to pound something fierce.

"Seems like you had quite the night, huh Roronoa Zoro?" Hawkeye says from above the younger man. "You started yelling something and attacking all the candle sticks so I chained you up for the night"

-"The fuck are you doing here?!" Zoro yelled. Surprised for a second before remembering that they had found Mihawk's island a few days ago and decided to stop by and say hi to the swordsman. Just for fanzines.

"I should be asking you that! Get your captain out of my kitchen! There's no food left! Not to mention that Robin and Chopper won't leave the library. Nami keeps stealing all the gold, Ussop and Franky keep blowing holes through the wall, and the damn skeleton won't get off my dining room table!"

-"Well it's your own damn fault for letting us into your house. I told you what they were like." Zoro said his head still throbbing.

"I didn't let anyone in! Your captain blew down the front door!"

-"Well it's your fault for having a weak ass door!" Zoro yelled.

"It you're fault for having a stupid ass captain!"

-"It's not my fault it's yours!" Zoro yelled back at the other man who looked at him incredulously.

Hawkeye draws his sword and levels it at Zoro's neck. "This is pointless. After all the training I put in, this is the thanks I get."

-"Fine. I apologize for my captain's idiocy. Now could you keep it down? I have a killer headache." Zoro asked quietly.

"PRABABLY NOT!" Hawkeye screams with an evil smile.

-"How did I know that you were going to do that?" Zoro groaned holding his head painfully.

"Because I trained you well! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hawkeye walks away without releasing his former student.

-"Shut up…you'll draw the others around…" Zoro said and then a wall broke down next to him and Luffy flew in.

"Get them out, or they are all gonna die…" Hawkeye mutter with a demonic look in his eyes.

-"Need I remind you that I am in chains?" Zoro asked raising an eyebrow.

"Need I remind you that they are not actually locked?" Hawkeye says back in a bored tone.

-Zoro just lifted his arms and the chains fell off his arms. His eye twitched slightly as he grabbed his captain and everyone else and carried them all to the ship.

"Thanks for everything Hawk-guy!" Luffy screams from the figure head of the ship.

-"Is that the straw-hat ship?" Admiral Kizaru asked from the marine ship they were on, they needed Hawkeye Mihawk but then they got here and they saw the straw-hat ship…

"Yeah, it is. Get them-" Akainu starts to yell and then, from nowhere, a giant meteor made of sea stone falls from the sky and crashes into him, dragging him down to the deepest pit of hell.

-"Oh snap." Kizaru said. Then he launched himself at the straw-hat because he really didn't like Akainu at all.

"You're next yellow monkey!" An ominous voice says from heaven and as it talked a small pumpkin falls down and does the same to Kizaru.

-"Okay how the fuck am I supposed to be captured?!" Zoro cried out breaking the third wall.

"By me!" Sengoku yells in his shiny Buhda form.

-"Fuck!" Zoro shouted as he felt Sengoku pick him up in a large huge and then Buhda jump away from the straw-hat ship.

"Not today!" Luffy yelled as he put on some sunglasses and punched him.

-"Buhda powers activate!" Sengoku yelled and then suddenly vanished. The straw-hat just stared in shock at where the swordsman just was a moment ago.

"STELLA LUNA! Wait, wrong show… ZORO!" Luffy falls to his knees and screams at the sky.

-"Not again…" Zoro said aloud as he woke up with a head ache and in chains. He tried but these ones actually turned out to be locked. Shit.

"What kind of man falls asleep on the execution platform?" Smoker says with angry curiosity.

-"Well excuse me. I was just Buhda'ed away, it's a bit of a shock to a first timer!" Zoro snapped back as he saw that he was indeed on an execution platform.

"Right…" Smoker seems unconvinced but leaves the man alone.

-"How long was I out?" Zoro asked and looked around only seeing marines and the occasional panda.

'Three days…" Smoker mutters as he takes a drag of his cigars.

-"You've kept me knocked out on an execution platform for three days…wait…I THOUGHT IT WAS TWO DAYS EARLIER?!" Zoro shouted

"You're point?" Smoker says in a snarky tone as two men come up on the platform with spear-sword-stick things.

-"The fuck!? Who does that?! Were you just staring at me!?" Zoro asked feeling slightly violated.

"I wasn't, but Tashigi seemed to sit there for the whole time… Creepy girl that one… Now let's get on with this!"

-Zoro stared out into the open courtyard from the execution platform he was on.

"For the crime of… blah…blah…blah…blah… Roronoa Zoro will now be executed!"

-"Blah…blah…blah is a crime now!? Shit I thought that that drug was legal!" Zoro exclaimed a panicked look on his face.

"You were wrong! It was our new make-the-enemy-believe-that-the-drug-was-legal-when-it-wasn't-so-we-can-catch-them plan I devised a few nights ago while hugging my teddy bear… Wait, those last few words were not meant to be spoken out loud…" Sengoku says with a red face.

-"Buhda sleeps with a teddy bear." Zoro sung out loud and several marines echoed him and Sengoku turned even redder.

"Shut up! It's…it's… it's for medicinal reasons! Whitebeard never laughed at me… He said it was manly… He lied!" Sengoku's face, while still beet red, is starting to look a bit angry.

-"How the hell is a teddy bear medicinal?" Zoro asked raising his eyebrow at the stupid fat golden man.

"It helps me sleep, when you give it a hug it sings a lullaby… I mean, it tells you how manly you are and starts kick boxing!"

-"…" everyone looked at him unimpressed

"And it definitely doesn't have soft pink fur, it's a manly color… It's brown, browns a manly color!" He stands up tall with his hands on his hips, looking like some teenage mutant ninja turtle.

-"Brown is the color of poop. Which is shit. So your bear is made of shit." Zoro generalized.

"Yeah, well green is the color of trees, and trees symbolize life, so you're… made… of … life…" He trails off, seeming to realize how idiotic he sounds… "You dumby, who even cares!?"

-"Why are we talking about this at his execution?!" smoker yelled out getting pissed.

"Because, he's right. I'm like a tree. TREE POWERS ACTIVATE!" Suddenly Zoro turns into a beautiful oak tree and breaks his chains.

-"The fuck?!" everyone shouts. Then the rest of the straw-hats poof in from nowhere. "That's the signal!" Luffy shouted.

"We had a signal?!" Nami and Sanji yell, impressed that Luffy even waited this long.

-"No but how cool is that!?" Luffy shouted pointing at the tree.

"You moron!" Ussop hits him in the head as they all run up to save their unusual friend.

-"Took you all long enough!" Zoro yelled popping back into a person.

"You're part tree?! That's so cool!" Chopper yells as he turns into a giant reindeer, squishing all the marines' underfoot.

-"Yeah, yeah, yeah, my mom was a tree my dad was drunk and that's how I came along. Don't ask any more questions." Zoro said as he saw them all get ready to ask. He didn't want to have to explain any more of how he was made.

"That… What The Fuck marimo! You could have told us that earlier! No wonder you always sit and talk to trees when we are out exploring… We all though you we're just a freak…" Sanji says with a smile.

-"That's just rude! It's not my fault that for some odd reason all the trees seem to know each other and by extension me!" Zoro yelled back.

"Of course we know each other, 'cause it's a circle of life!" Some potted fichus starts to sing off in the distance. "Your mother was a great oak, I'll never forget her…"

-everyone just stared at the fichus in shock. "When did that get there!?" Sengoku yelled out in shock.

"You jerk, you planted me!" The fichus cries. "I was always there for you and Ms. Sparkles and this is the thanks I get… I quit!" The fichus starts to hop away.

-"Wait fern!" Zoro shouted extending a hand to the potted plant who just kept hopping away. Zoro whirled on Sengoku. "Look what you did now!"

"He… he was always there for me… Now I've lost him… What am I going to do?!" Sengoku starts to sob as fern the fichus continues to hop away.

-"Come back to me!" Sengoku shouted out and began to punch the ground in a fit of anger. All the other straw-hats just watched the scene quietly. Wondering why they had even come.

"Let's go Zoro, come on!" Ussop hisses at Zoro but Zoro can't take his eyes off the poor plant running away.

-"I can't go yet! I must help!" Zoro shouted and put his hands on his hips and then turned to Sanji. "Oi, shit cook. Kick the plant over to Buhda then let's get out of here." Zoro said. And Sanji just shrugged. He had nothing better to do.

"Here you go!" Sanji kicks the plant as gently as he could over to the big gold baby in the middle of the execution yard. "Have a nice life!"

-"Quickly lets ditch this place!" Luffy yelled and they all began to run back to the sunny.

"Yohohohoho! That was unexpected! I thought my eyes we're going to pop out from surprise… Oh, but I do not have any eyes… Yohohohoho!" Brook laughs as they run.

-"SHUT UP!" Zoro and Sanji and Franky all shouted at once. "This is not the time!" they all yelled and then were punched in the head by Nami.

"Let's go, coup de burst!" Franky yells as they get on the ship.

-Ussop just clung onto the railing as they flew forward. "Let me get on the ship first!" he yelled.

~AND SO ENDS THE EPIC TALE OF HOW ZORO WAS CAPTURED~

-Zoro sat bolt upright as they were flying down from Skypiea on the octopus. "Look out!" he yelled. And then looked around "Never mind." And fell back asleep.