Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter (or Draco and Hermione would've ended up married, with ten kids, in the Epilogue. Okay, probably not ten. But still, you know what I mean.)

Well, this is just really random. I have no idea how it ended up being so long, but I hope you guys like it :)

Enjoy ^^

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Draco Malfoy found amusement in the strangest of things. Right now, as he sat there on the sofa before the fire, he quietly watched Hermione Granger curled up next to him, hugging a blanket, and grinned to himself.

She looked cute when she was asleep like this- face cuddled into the crook of her shoulder with her mouth slightly parted and bushy hair fanned all over the cushion behind her. She had a habit of curling into a ball whenever she lay down to rest- which honestly wasn't much of a problem for Draco, considering it was mostly him she usually wrapped herself around. Smirking, he almost cackled with glee when he felt her stir. He'd been waiting patiently for this moment for half an hour.

Mumbling, Granger sniffed and brought a hand to rub at her eyes, raising her head slightly. Her nose wrinkled in confusion as she patted the sofa cushions around her- and then Draco went stiff when her fingers slid up to inspect his firm chest. She pulled at his shirt, poking and prodding, eyes still shut and expression twisted in confusion.

...And then her eyes slowly flickered open. They widened, and in a flash, she shot up from the sofa, spitting bushy hair from her mouth, spluttering and looking around frantically.

Draco smirked and brought his coffee cup to his lips. "Morning, Granger."

She whipped around to set her eyes on him. "You-!" she shrieked, jumping up instantly and pointing an accusing finger at him, and then looking around "What am I doing here?!"

"In the Slytherin common rooms at five-thirty in the morning? Why, I have no idea." he brushed lint off his clothes innocently "I woke up and came down here to find you sleeping on the sofa. Must've been your insatiable need for me that brought you- ow! What the fuck, Granger, I could've spilled my coffee!"

For Hermione Granger stood there on the cold floor, in her pyjama shorts, her hair wild and a cushion armed in her hands, eyes glaring. "I asked you what I'm doing here! Are you telling me you got dressed and sneaked into my room at five a.m. to bring me here?!" *Whack!* "What in the name of God-" *Whack!* "-is wrong with you, Draco?!"

"Calm down, no one saw you! Merlin!" Draco's coffee had spilled down all over his pants and he was currently on his feet, hopping on the floor in front of her, glaring as the hot beverage he'd skived off of the Hogwarts kitchens dribbled down his skin.

"I don't care if someone saw me or not! That's not the point-! The point is that you simply can't just waltz into the Head common rooms like it's your- wait." she stiffened, turning wide eyes on him, and Draco flinched. Oh, he seriously needed to rethink his life choices and his taste in pranks. This particular one didn't seem to be sitting well with his girlfriend- and she didn't even know the half of it yet. "You were- that means…" Granger turned fiery eyes on him. Ohh yes, he was dead. "…You sneaked into my room when I was sleeping?"

He smirked a little despite himself, "You know, I have been in that room plenty of times before-"

*Whack!*

Draco should've taken that stupid cushion from her while he'd still had the chance.

"I can't believe you would- oh, where's my wand?!"

Draco sighed gratefully for leaving her wand back in her room when he'd come in to steal her away. He'd thought he should take it with him, but then decided against it, knowing full well that her reaction wasn't going to be mild.

"Draco Malfoy, you-"

"Hey, don't look at me- your wand's safely back in your room!" he defended himself when she advanced onto him. With bushy hair crackling behind her and fire in her eyes, Hermione looked extremely deadly.

Draco couldn't help but be secretly proud. And a little aroused.

"How did you even get in?!" she asked furiously "Crookshanks usually scratches you away if you try to go into my room without my permission!"

"You know, Granger, it still astounds me how you'd rather have your pet cat protect your room than put genuine protective spells around the place that will actually work."

She arched a brow "It seemed to work just fine with you, didn't it?"

Draco scowled. Yes, he had about a dozen memories of Crookshanks yowling and sinking sharp claws into his shoulders, scratching every part of his skin it could reach to prove that.

"All I'm saying is, Granger, that there are certain spells…" he twirled his wand around in his fingers "…that can take care of cats quite- ow!"

"Draco Malfoy, what have you done to my cat?!"

"Nothing that bad, I- what the hell, woman!"

'I'm asking you nicely." Granger said, voice dangerously low. It wasn't fair, really- how he stood there, fully dressed, and yet his girlfriend ended up being more intimidating, standing there in just her pyjama shorts, without her wand at five a.m. on a Sunday morning. Draco sure knew how to pick 'em.

"But I hated that cat!"

"What do you mean 'hated' ?" Hermione's eyes widened in horror "What did you do to him?!"

"No, I don't mean- oh, for Merlin's- Granger, it sleeps on my pillow!" Draco burst out helplessly, knowing full well he was whining. Fuck, he really hated Crookshanks- and not just because of the feline's unexplained hatred for him either. The cat seemed to constantly compete with Draco for Hermione's affections, and give him the most evil look when Hermione left Draco to cuddle with her pet instead. Draco growled in frustration "I don't want a cat when I'm in bed with you!"

Hermione folded her arms tightly "If you don't get Crookshanks back you can kiss my bed goodbye forever."

Draco stared on at the sharp look on his girlfriend's face. "I'll buy you an owl. They're much more efficient."

"Draco-"

"You're a creature of logic, aren't you? An owl sounds like a logical choice. That ball of orange fuzz is the least logical beast I've ever-"

"Creature of logic?" Draco winced. He was not helping. "Excuse me? I'm a what?"

"Right, this got out of hand rather quickly. Er- what say we make a deal?"

Hermione folded her arms and glared- but gestured that she was listening. Draco sighed a breath of relief.

"I bring your cat back, but it doesn't enter the bedroom."

"No."

He hesitated. "Alright, fine. It can enter the bedroom, but no getting on the bed."

"No."

"Granger!"

Hermione didn't say anything except for raise her chin up and stare at him defiantly.

"Alright, it can get on the bed, but not during the nights I spend there!"

"No."

Bloody hell.

"Granger, be reasonable! I'm willing to tolerate that furball if-"

"Reasonable? Oh, I'll tell you what's not reasonable! Entering the Heads dorms at five a.m., doing god-knows-what to your girlfriend's cat, and then carrying your Muggle girlfriend back into the dorms of a House that believes people of my status should be slaves!" Draco opened his mouth to defend his House, because really- hardly any of them believed in that crap anymore. He knew he didn't. But before he could say anything, she was rambling once again "-And why exactly am I here if the only business you had was with my cat?"

His eyes flashed as his lips thinned into a smirk. "Oh, I had some 'business' with you too."

*Whack!*

That blow honestly hurt, but Draco couldn't stop himself from grinning when he caught the blush on Granger's face.

"You're a git." she huffed, and when he stepped in close, softly grasping the cushion she held and tugging so that she staggered into his arms, she let him- and he supposed this was a pretty good sign that she wasn't going to kill him any soon. "How is it that the entire House is still asleep after all the racket we just made?" she murmured into his chest, bringing delicate fingers up to clutch at his shirt. He shivered.

"I put a Silencing charm around." he wrapped his arms loosely around her and let his fingers tap lightly on the slice of warm skin that was exposed just above the waistband of her flimsy shorts. "Honestly, Granger, you didn't think I did all this without taking proper precautionary measures, did you?"

She smacked him lightly "Seriously, what did you do to Crookshanks?"- this time, her voice was much softer, and Draco couldn't help but hold her close, relishing in the warmth of her.

"Nothing. I just Transfigured a shoe into a mouse and sent your blasted cat chasing after it."

He felt her sigh "So he's safe?"

"Of course he's safe." Draco drawled, leaning in and pressing a light kiss behind her ear, inhaling her warm cinnamon scent "I wasn't going to do any serious damage. You'd have had me by the balls if something happened to him."

She laughed softly, and pushed lightly at his chest, looking up with sparkling eyes. Draco felt his stomach swoop. Nearly six months into the relationship, and he still couldn't get enough of this feeling every time he was close to her.

"So…" her eyes darted around the common room as she whispered "…how long before the Slytherins wake up?". Draco nearly gasped when she leaned into him, her body pressing into his.

"An hour"- he managed to breathe out, tightening his arms around her, bringing one palm down to press lightly into the small dip of her lower back.

"So we have an hour to ourselves with no one to interrupt us?" her finger trailed down his chest, fingernail scraping lightly through his shirt- painfully delicious- and oh God, Draco was going to make her pay for this endless teasing.

"Yes. More than hours, if you'd like. We could have the entire day." he managed, blood pounding in his ears, his heart in his throat "We could hex anyone who enters. I don't mind."

She laughed, marmalade breath tickling his ear "No, that's not going to be a problem, considering you won't be spending the hour here."

"Really?" he smirked to himself, waiting for her to tell him that he would be accompanying her back to her room, where they would spend a very cat-free hour together. "Where exactly would I be spending it, then?"

And before he could make sense of anything, his wand had been ripped away from his hand and Granger had drawn away from his arms- her scent and her warmth vanishing as the cold air hit him.

"You will be spending it searching the castle for Crookshanks without your wand-" Dazed and confused, Draco blinked as Hermione pulled him and pushed him out into the corridors of the castle. "-And until I don't have Crookshanks with me again, you can forget about getting it back."

"What the- you can't be serious, Granger!" Draco stood there, frozen to the ground in the aftermath of the shock as he watched her striding away into the darkness. " Are you fucking kidding me?! Granger, get back here! I'm serious, I'll break up with you if you don't come back right now!" he called out hoarsely "I mean it!"

He thought he heard her laugh somewhere in the distance, and mentally cursed her. Great, his girlfriend knew he wouldn't break up with her, even if Salazer Slytherin himself arose from the dead and hung Draco upside down from the Astronomy Tower. Stupid fucking Gryffindors.

Draco fumed, beginning to stomp down the dimly-lit corridors of the castle. The Sorting Hat had made a deadly mistake by sorting Hermione into Gryffindor. Oh no, that witch was a through-and-through Slytherin.

And that was why, at precisely six o' clock in the morning, Draco Malfoy was out and about calling out Crookshanks' name and roaming the castle in search of Granger's cat.

And when he emerged for breakfast two hours later, scowling darkly, red scratches all over his face, hair mussed and ripped clothes covered in orange cat hair- nobody dared ask.

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A/N: Well, I have no idea how I ended up writing this. I'd been aiming to write something completely different- with an entirely different plot. And an entirely different genre. And an entirely different...well, everything.

Oh well. It was random, and pretty pointless :P

Was it too weird? Or random?

Thanks for reading! Please review :)

~SS~