Secret Santa Fanfiction Exchange. (SSFE, which could also be Secret Santa Fire Emblem, but I'll put that thought aside)
The name who I have received: Zeldamaster.
Title: Camp Elibe.
Description: A fanficton written in a play format. Various characters from Fire Emblem (blazing sword) shall be at a summer camp. It is intended to be a comedy, though my humor is oft hard to find in such things as this. I guess this could also be called a parody…I hope. The scene that is written is about the archery class, where EVERYONE has to participate…I mean everyone…Zeldamaster, I do hope you like this; It may seem like complete rubbish, but I wish you a Merry Christmas.
Oh…The director of this camp…is the tactician, who I shall name…Marc. Isn't that the default name? Let us begin.
Camp Elibe
Scene: The Joys of Archery
Marc: Alright…everybody, listen up. The past few days have been fun, but now things are to get serious. We need to train for future battles.
Lyn: [nods] That seems reasonable.
Eliwood: I would have to agree with you, Marc. We cannot be lax in keeping our skills sharp.
Hector: [shrugs] So, what? Do we spar? What are you planning?
Marc: Well…I was thinking of helping everyone's accuracy increase, by having you all practice archery today.
Wil: I see no problem with that! It sounds fun!
Rebecca: It's fine with me! I don't have any problems with practicing!
Rath: …..
Kent: I shall practice to my full capability.
Sain: I shall so as well! I will show all the beauties here how spectacular I am with a bow!
Serra: Ooooooh! Erk, did you hear that? We're going to be archers today!
Erk: I know. Your incessant chatter will be the end of my sanity…
[The others either nod or state their agreement]
Florina: U-um…Marc…?
Marc: Hmm? What's the matter, Florina?
Florina: …can I pass on this activity…?
Marc: Do you wish to improve?
Florina: Yes, but…!
Marc: Then you shall practice with everyone else. Your Pegasus shall be out of harm's way, I assure you.
Merlinus: Why do I have to? I just stand in place, holding all your weaponry and such!
Marc: You will have to learn to defend yourself!
Merlinus: A-alright…
Marc: Everyone! To the plains!
[At the plains]
The various characters' attempts to use the bow shall be put here.
Eliwood
Eliwood: So, you hold it like this…and the arrow goes here. Umm…you pull the string back and…? [He does not release the arrow quick enough, nor did he pull the string back far enough. The arrow falls to the ground, mocking him] I see…this is quite pointless, but I shall try once more. [The same thing occurs again and again, etc.]
Marc: [sighs]
Hector
Hector: Blast it! This stupid bow is defective! It won't fire!
Marc: Hector…you need arrows in order to fire them…
Hector: Really?
Marc: Very.
Hector: Hmm…are you sure?
Marc: Absolutely.
Hector: How odd.
Lyn
Lyn: [she is the first non archer to successfully fire an arrow] It didn't go far….but it flew true…
Marc: Did the Sacae teach you to use a bow?
Lyn: No…not everyone used a bow, you know…
Marc: Actually, I didn't know…
Matthew
Matthew: What a waste of time… [he is lounging on the grass, yawning]
Marc: What are you doing?
Matthew: My speed's high enough already. I don't need to practice with bows…
Marc: …What if I told you that if you practiced with that bow, I'd tell you where I saw an unopened treasure chest?
Matthew: Then practice may actually be worthwhile.
Marc: Then practice!
Matthew: Treasure time…here I come!
Wallace
Wallace: Hmph! What a flimsy weapon! That's the third one I've broken!
Marc: Umm…you don't have to practice if you don't want to…
Wallace: Everyone else is, so I will as well! Now get me another bow, boy!
Marc: o-okay!
Wil
Wil: This is fun! Seeing everyone else try their hardest is amusing, am I right or am I right?
Marc: It was either archery or magic, so I took the lesser of two evils.
Wil: Magic? That sounds exciting! Let's do that next, alright?
Marc: …me and my big mouth…
Rebecca
Rebecca: lalalala~
Marc: Um…what are you doing?
Rebecca: What do you think? I'm making lunches for everyone! With all of this practice, they're bound to be hungry!
Marc: What about you saying that you'd never pass an opportunity to practice?
Rebecca: Already did! All my arrows are gone, and you'll find them all in the target!
Marc: …
Rebecca: Do you want a lunch? You look pale…
Kent
Kent: I must apologize, but I am afraid that the bow and I are not a good match.
Marc: It's oke—
Kent: I will continue to practice, for it is what you commanded of us, so fear not. I shall persevere until the end!
Marc: …you do that. I have high hopes for you.
Kent: Yes, sir!
Sain
Sain: I did not know…that firing an arrow…could be so difficult. Oh, beauteous Serra! Please heal me with your angelic face…and your staff!
Marc: You're shameless [he leaves]
Sain: Who knew that an arrow could backfire…?
Florina
Florina: I-I actually hit the target…!
Marc: Why are you trembling?
Florina: The bow, it scares me so much that I…I can't go on!
Marc: Ah, Florina! Blast it all to oblivion! Lyn! She's fainted!
Rath
Rath: …
Marc: …
Rath: …..what?
Marc: Good job.
Rath: …..
Marc: ….. [He leaves]
Rath: …..thanks.
Linus
Linus: ….ha!
Marc: What in the…? Why are you here?
Linus: You said everyone had to participate, so here I am.
Marc: But you're the enemy!
Linus: So? Do you want to fight?
Marc: N-no…continue.
Merlinus
Merlinus: I hit something!
Marc: That was Sain you hit, you dolt!
Jaffar
Jaffar: …
Marc: Whoa! You're better than I thought!
Jaffar: …..
Marc: …..
Jaffar: The penalty was death.
Marc: W-what?
Jaffar: So I learned.
Marc: Ahh…..
Jaffar: …
Marc: Okeeeeeey…..
Erk
Erk: …Marc! Help!
Marc: hmm?
Erk: Please, take Serra's bow from her. She's bound to kill us all with her terrible aim!
Marc: [they both duck a wildly shot arrow] Curse the seven hells! She WILL kill us all!
[A few hours later…]
Marc: I'm going to kill myself.
Kent: What? I cannot allow it!
Marc: Whyever not? This was a stupid, stupid idea…
Lyn: Marc, you're our tactician, like it or not.
Hector: You cannot die. We will restrain you if we must.
Marc: …someone put me out of my misery!
Jaffar: [he wonders why everyone has turned to glare at him]...?
Marc: Ugh! That's It! I'm done with this Camp! From now on, life is back to normal!
Eliwood: I am afraid that that is impossible. We all have trained, and believe that we have actually improved somewhat. It was a good idea, Marc.
Matthew: Besides, who would tell me where the treasure is? Dead men tell no tales, you know!
Wil: Yeah! Next we learn magic!
Everyone: WHAT?
Marc: I can't take it anymore…!
A/N: Perhaps this could be continued. Hope you like it, Zeldamaster. Marc's idea has gone horribly wrong….and the others want to continue the camp!
Actually, the Garcia/Dozla support conversations inspired me for this. Not only is it hilarious, it is….well, hilarious!
This is Salvo, and I hope that all who read this have a merry X-mas!
And a happy New Year, just in case I forgot~