A/N: This is my first fan fiction tell me what you think...

Chapter 1: Back: The Prologue:

At first Addison thought she was just feeling bored. Every day had become routine and the excitement and reassuring comfort of sunny L.A. was slowly fading away. Something was gnawing at her, yet she couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong. All she knew was that somewhere along the way she went from being completely content to…dejected, as if constantly trying to find happiness, was draining all her energy.

All the expectations she had, when she got here, were pushed aside in favor of her duty as a doctor, focusing on her career, and keeping the practice stable. Of course there was plenty of time for her to enjoy life outside of work her co-workers are her friends and she'd had several relationships, some more serious and others. The difficult thing about being friends with your co-workers though is that sometimes you become more than just friends, and sometimes those relationships don't end the way you would hope.

She wasn't just bored; Addison had finally reached her limit. From one mistake to another, many worse than the last, she found herself questioning why coming she had to L.A. in the first place. Life was supposed to get better and stay that way. Obviously no one's life can truly be like that, but she'd tried so hard to make it happen. She expected too much; too much of herself and everyone around her. Addison had known that she was setting herself up to be letdown. All the emotions she'd suppressed during various events in her life were finally catching up to her: New York, her 11 years of marriage, Seattle, the 4 years of drama and gossip, L.A. and numerous failed relationships, her parents, her childhood in Connecticut, her inability to have children…

Her mind was constantly betraying her; no matter how much she tried, any seemingly motivational thoughts became hesitant questions instead.

She couldn't help but feel ridiculous and almost disgusted with herself, because she was raised to keep her emotions in check and now at times it took up all her energy not to breakdown over the littlest things. She felt weak and whiny, the poor little rich girl complaining about her fabulous home, career, and friends, because it didn't "feel like enough".

All of this inner frustration led to this very moment. Addison is staring at her phone, just standing there in her bedroom, in the middle of her weekend off, trying to convincing herself, that she's not about to make the biggest mistake ever. She's done pretending the past 14 years of her life were forgotten for the sake of starting anew. She's done trying to be a different person, she has changed and grown and she finally feels stronger because of it, even if it meant telling people what she truly wanted and showing her feelings, crying… The way she felt before coming here barely compared to how desperate and empty she had been feeling these past few months. She doesn't want to feel that way. There should be no reason for her to feel so depressed when she has so much she could be happy for. There's so much she could be doing instead of wasting time waiting for happiness to fall into her lap.

For so long, she bottled up her emotions and repressed so many memories that the happiness she feels these days only lasts in the moments when she's not alone to think about anything else.

Addison paces, her head literally feels like its pounding. In her mind this could either become the best thing she's done in a while or a completely irresponsible impulse. But her heart knows better, she needs to do this no matter the cost. All she's been doing is crying over all the mistakes she's made, because sorting through the mess she'd made had seemed like the harder option to have to deal with, until now.

After thinking it over repeatedly for a few more she knows exactly what she decides to go through with it. She tentatively picks up her phone, holding her breath as the dial tone changes into a melody of digits and rings softly...

"Richard, hey... good, feeling great! So listen… is my job still open?"

Addison Forbes Montgomery is coming back to SGH.

Chapter 1: Back:

Two weeks later

"This was a terrible idea! Why did I come back here?"

She'd been completely flustered since she woke up to a surprisingly sunny morning.

Addison couldn't stop muttering to herself as she ran around her hotel room trying to decide what to wear. Not that she need a special look, the hospital staff knew too much of her personal life to not already have their opinion of her... She knew coming back wasn't such a big deal to most because they expected it, but she couldn't help but feel as if something was wrong with her coming back.

"It was my choice...I've missed Miranda and Callie—but then again Miranda is stressed right now and Callie is going through so much as well so I can't depend on them to help work things out. I've missed Mar-...Mark is...well, he is probably the same. I haven't even talked to him in a long time and I definitely don't plan on going back to where we were. And then I haven't talked to Derek 'decently', excluding small talk and desperation, since ...that bachelor party before I moved? And Richard is only happy I'm back because to him I couldn't handle leaving, to him it was inevitable. I hate that this was so predictable; it's shameful."

"Addison, you're thinking so loud I can practically hear your negativity," Callie said sternly, snapping Addison out of her reverie.

Callie continued to scrutinize Addison from the over-stuffed hotel couch.

"Well, aren't you a hot mess today, goodness!"

Addison ran her hands through her hair, if she already had doubts now, how would she handle living here permanently?

"Callie, I'm sorry. I just can't understand why I took Richard up on this offer anymore; I mean I step off that plane, bombarded with rain. I thought it couldn't get worse but I looked outside not two minutes ago and it is still pouring like the Niagara Falls out there. I'm late to my meeting with Richard, my hair's a mess, my things in LA won't get here 'til next month, and my house won't be ready 'til the month after that! I'm going to be living in a hotel ...again, AND my ex… ow!"

"Hey!" Addison snapped as she threw the pillow that had just smacked her in the face back at Callie, watching her just barely duck away to the dining table.

Callie grinned, snagging a leftover waffle from Addison's room service breakfast.

Teasingly, she said, "You really should add ranting to your job description and I thought you would've remembered that you came back here 'cause you just love and adore me."

"Ha, ha, "Addison replies dryly, also throwing a comb at Callie's head as she catches her attempting to sip some of her coffee.

"Ow! What did you come back from LA an assassin or something? You could have poked my eye out..."

"Do not touch her caffeine, she's worse than me, unlike my yelling and obvious threats, she will actually try to kill you."

Addison spun around to see someone she hardly wanted to see closing her hotel door at the moment.

"How did you even know what room I was in, let alone manage to let yourself in Mark? WAIT…who even told you I was here?"

His smile seemed to come across from ear to ear as he sat next to Callie. Addison's glare burned holes into his head. She kept at this for only a few seconds before she decided her time would be best spent buzzing around her room again. They watched her curiously as she multi-tasked between shoving a waffle into her mouth while doing her hair and putting a heel on one-handed. The next thing Addison knew they'd grabbed her from behind. Addison found herself landing in the middle of the couch, pouting at the two who were blocking her from getting up with their arms.

"You're going to sit down and relax for a moment, Addison."

"Guys, I'm already running late."

"Unless you consider being an hour and a half early, late, you're not even close. You really need to take it down a notch. You are not going to go crazy on us after only..."Callie looked at her watch, "Two hours, it's only been two hours into the morning. You're already running around as if hopped up on sugar! You've been so negative since the moment you stepped foot in Seattle, stop looking for a reason to back out when you're already here. Make the best of it, that's why you really came."

"She's right Addison. What is it that has you so tense and worried anyway? What, has too much Californian sun gone to your head?"

Addison knew exactly where this conversation was headed as she rolled her eyes.

"This isn't like you," they said in unison, Addison included with a hint of annoyance.

"So, I've been told," Addison rolls her eyes as she focused on a speck on the floor.

The statement was all too familiar, having attached itself to her since she left New York.

"I know it's not like me. I just need time to worry a little. I came back here to set things right in my life. I tried the pretend-you-have-a-new-life thing, but that just caused a huge mess. The only difference between my problems here and there is the location. I'm trying to convince myself that I can walk into that hospital and be Addison..."

She slumped into the couch as Callie and Mark sat either side of her.

"You'll be fine Addie."

He said it so surely... But, when she heard him call her Addie, it reminded her of all the negative things that attached themselves to her name because of past events. She couldn't help but remember all the bad memories this place had caused her and how it had affected her, allowing a little doubt to enter her brain. She wasn't supposed to think of the baggage she had left here this way. Seattle is about to be her permanent residence again. She should not feel as hurt or uncomfortable with any of it anymore, as if the pain was brand new.

"I should be over this," Addison says angrily not realizing she was thinking aloud.

"What did you say, Addison?"

"Nothing, it isn't important."

The two look at her skeptically.

"Really…I'm fine," she gets up looking as if her earlier state of panic had never occurred.

Smoothing invisible wrinkles out of her skirt and grabbing her leather briefcase. She opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, hurriedly ushering them out. She urged them to go on ahead of her wanting to go the rest of the way to the hospital alone.

"I'll meet you both at the hospital."

Closing the door behind her, Addison leaned against it as she watched them walk out of sight. She wanted to be fine, but she didn't know if she was ready to step back into the spotlight of the hospital horror show yet.

Her nerves were all she could think about as she walked out of the hotel to her awaiting new car. Although she was obviously not mentally prepared for today, physically she was all set. She's Addison Montgomery; it's only natural that she would get all material problems out of the way in a snap. She had bought a brand new car, a new house, and signed a contract with Richard. And she'd done all of it in the span of her two days of arriving back in Seattle. Save for a few minor hitches in physical planning and her nerves, Addison was extremely prepared. Bracing the steering wheel of her new black hybrid for a few seconds, she tried to get rid of the slight urge to chicken out before driving to the hospital.

She stood at the entrance of Seattle Grace remembering the times she walked through its doors, the people of SGH, and more prominently the last day she'd exited those doors.

"Addison!"

Addison couldn't help but smile. Besides Richard, Callie, and Mark there was only one other person she really wanted to see again.

"Hey, Miranda," the woman gave her a quick one-armed hug as they walked towards the hospital, "I'm glad to see you back where you belong, Addison. I don't think I could stand Sloan and Torres hanging around me for much longer."

"Ha. You should have seen how those two have been acting with you gone. They looked like a couple of lost puppies."

"Miranda, the last time we spoke..." Addison's voice got quiet as she remembered a conversation on the phone, "Are you and Tucker..."

"Don't worry 'bout me, he and I are fine now, I realized the mistakes I had been making in our marriage and we've been working on fixing it," Miranda said cutting her off with a warm smile.

Any further questions were cut short as Richard walked towards them, "Addison I'm so glad your back."

"I'm glad too," as she said this she realized it was true, the rain had stopped for now and she was being greeted by two of her closest friends, things were looking up.

Having her friends with her made Addison forget her inhibitions. She walked into the hospital with almost all the confidence the old Addison could muster. She walked in ignoring the stares of shock and the not too subtle whispers, a smirk playing on her lips.

Yes, I am back!

A/N: I know it's a little boring but it will get better ;p