Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, locations, etc. from the show. If I did, things certainly would've been different! LOL! This little ficlet takes place after the Sentinel Too two-parter.
The Dark Watches of the Night
It was a soft sound, a muffled sound, but it woke me nonetheless. Even in sleep I was tuned into Sandburg, like a radio left on all night. I glanced at the clock; 3am. Closed my eyes and dialed up my hearing, listening to his heart racing. Bad dream, maybe? Panic attack?
I knew I'd never get back to sleep if I didn't check on him. Slipping out of bed, I moved silently through the dark loft, vision dialed up enough to keep from bumping into anything. It had been two days since we'd tracked Alex down in Mexico, but Sandburg still hadn't gotten all his gear stored away. Normally I would've said something about that, but the kid had been through so much in the past week that I just didn't have the heart.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I could see that Sandburg was curled up on the couch, one of the accent pillows pressed against his face. My breath caught in my throat at the sound; it was frightened, despairing and I didn't want to hear it again. Couldn't hear it again. I padded over to the couch and sat next to Sandburg, one hand tentatively touching his knee.
"Chief?"
There was a choked sob, and then he slowly raised his head.
"Sorry I woke you," he said, voice thick with emotion.
"Wanna talk about it?" I asked, now rubbing his leg from knee to ankle.
Sandburg just shook his head and leaned against the back of the couch. I nodded, still rubbing but saying nothing. No sense in pushing the kid if he wasn't ready. Patience wasn't always my strong suit, but I was trying; for him I'd try harder. And if I was honest with myself, this little bit of touching made me feel better. I'd almost lost everything that was important to me, and I needed the reassurance that Sandburg was here, alive and breathing.
"It hurt," he said after a while. Anyone else wouldn't have been able to see the tears tracking down his face in the dark, but they were painfully obvious to me.
"What hurt?"
"Drowning," Sandburg replied. "I didn't think it would."
He pressed his face back in the pillow, trying to hide the sounds of his distress, but I wouldn't have any of that. If there was one person the kid didn't need to hide from, it was his Blessed Protector. Secrets between us were disastrous and I couldn't have that, not again. I tugged the pillow away, tossing it carelessly on the coffee table, and pulled Sandburg into my arms.
The kid came willingly, clearly needing to be soothed. And here in the dark I didn't have to feel awkward about holding another man. I could drop my guard, and admit that the close proximity to my Guide went a long way to soothing my own anxieties.
"You brought me back," Sandburg's tears were warm on my neck.
"Couldn't let you go, Chief. Not like that." I'd never forget the sight of my partner lying lifeless in the grass, or how it felt to think he'd been taken away from me, forever. There was a sharp pain in my chest just remembering.
"Why?"
"Why?" I answered without formulating a casual response; he deserved the truth. "You're my best friend. I can't do any of this without you. And I don't mean just the Sentinel stuff, either. I mean everything."
It seemed inadequate, but it was the best I could do. Before Sandburg had come into my life, I'd always thought I was a happy guy. But that turned out to be less than accurate. I was just getting by, marking time, staving off loneliness. The kid had filled the loft with chatter and friendship and the presence of another human being that cared what happened to me. Sandburg made sure I ate something besides Wonderburger. He tended me when I was sick, and anticipated my needs in a way no-one else ever had.
"You take care of the whole me," I murmured, stroking Sandburg's back. "Not just the Sentinel, but Jim too. I'm not so…fractured anymore."
And that was the heart of it, the truth I believed with my whole being. The truth that made my recent actions all the more deplorable. He'd given up so much, had given me so much. He deserved to hear the rest of it.
"I love you."
Sandburg burrowed into me, his arms snaking around my waist. The Sentinel in me knew that my Guide would understand what I was saying. It wasn't the kind of love that I'd had for my ex-wife, or even the love I had for my brother Steven. It was deeper than that, more complex. I would die for Sandburg, gladly. I would take care of him forever, because I couldn't fathom not having him in my life.
"I love you, too, big guy," Sandburg whispered.
My heart warmed at the words. I didn't care if it was a Sentinel-Guide thing, or a greedy human thing, but I'd do anything to keep him with me. Even fight back death. Sandburg was mine now, my responsibility. My home.
He was starting to fall asleep, so I got to my feet and pulled him up with me.
"Come on. We both need some sleep."
Without offering any explanation, or receiving any comment from Sandburg, I led him upstairs to my room. I had a feeling we'd both sleep better if we were together, and I certainly wasn't going to sleep on that damn futon. Instead, I spooned up behind him, not feeling the least bit embarrassed when I slung an arm over his waist and drew him close.
"Is this going to be weird in the morning?" Sandburg asked sleepily. I chuckled.
"Only if we let it be."
"Let's don't do that, then. Okay?"
I pressed a kiss on the top of Sandburg's head. "Go to sleep, Chief."
In less than five minutes I was rewarded with his deep, even breaths. I moved my hand, placing it over his heart.
"Stay with me," I whispered. And then I drifted off to sleep as well, my ears tuned to the sound of Sandburg's heart beating.
AN: Just recently got into the Sentinel series and I love the characters. Read through almost all the great stories here and didn't have much to add, but my friend Smiles2go kept noodging me for a fic. LOL! Anyway, just a little happy scene. Could be slash, could be not. Depends on how you want it. You don't have to review, but I'd sure like to know what you think!