We can survive till eternity and beyond, without food or water. There are no diseases that can harm us, because we are terror itself. The only threats we have are beings that are stronger than us. The others forever seek battle to prove themselves, but I don't care about something trivial like that. You kill the enemy, and then you find the next one. This empty cycle is so meaningless, and only ends in death. Why are we condemned to this? What propels us to keep surviving in nothingness?
Compared to us, humans are such weak beings. Without water they will die, a tiny infection will kill them, and even then they can only survive for a short hundred years. Their muscles are cotton, their bones are glass, with skin papery thin wrapping them together. To tear through it would be so easy. They can't lift a finger against me, but I can completely destroy them in an instant. Yet they always seem to have a purpose in their lives. I wonder... Where do they get the courage to keep on living?
I heard a noise... Someone's coming. Who could it be? The footsteps are approaching rapidly, but it sounds too light, almost like a child's. A child in Las Noches? That can only be... Lilinette.
"Hurry up Stark! You big lazy dummy! How are we suppose to play tag like this?!" As I predicted, it was her. She rounded the corner at top speed and almost fell over. That didn't stop her though, and she continued to run straight down the corridor towards me. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks moments before we collided. There was silence as we both stood still.
"Oh it's you Ulquiorra." Lilinette faked surprise. She doesn't seemed concerned at all that her rudeness might get her killed. But she doesn't have a reason to be afraid, not when one of the strongest espadas was her protector. Such a small and unnecessary existence... Stark would be better off without this burden. "Sorry for almost bumping into you, but it was also kind of your fault for not getting out of the way. So since I apologized, maybe you should to?"
"Did you just ask me to apologize?" I stared at her incredulously. Somewhere in me, I can feel a flare of anger. Her face froze, and the slight glimmer of fear I see in her eyes gave me some small satisfaction.
"I'm really sorry... Well it really wasn't all my fault..." That moment of weakness was gone, and she became defiant again. This girl really doesn't learn does she... I need to give her a lesson in manners. I took a step towards her.
"Lilinette... You're going too fast..." Stark's lazy voice drifted over. He strolled around the corner and started walking towards us. "I'm not as young anymore, you know..." His eyes drifted towards me as he came nearer, and gave a me a slight nod of acknowledgement.
"So I see you're trying to be friends with Ulquiorra?" Stark asked Lilinette. "He's not really the friendly type. In fact, I think he would be the worst type of friend you can have. I have to say you're pretty stupid if you tried..." He shrugged.
Without any preamble, she kicked him hard in the shins. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A STUPID MONKEY HUH?"
"Ow!" Stark yelled, although it was a beat too late. "What did you do that for? And I didn't say that..."
"Same thing!" Lilinette gave him an evil glare. "And I'm not stupid enough to try to talk to him, it's just that I almost bumped into him and I was apologizing."
"Is that so..." Stark's attention turned towards me. "Well I'm sure he's fine with it, isn't that right?" Under his nonchalant voice, I can hear the hint of a threat. There is something dangerous hidden beneath that easy going facade. It would be better to play it safe.
"It's no problem at all." He is stronger than me, it would be disastrous to have him as an enemy. Although with his personality, I doubt he would actively engage in such things.
"Che..." He looked away in annoyance. "You really need to cheer up, just looking at you is making me all gloomy. Can't you even take a joke?" He scratched his head as he yawned. "I suggest you to go outside for a change of scenery."
"There is nothing out there worth me leaving here for." I said carefully.
"Then don't go." He shot back at me with irritation. "According to your logic, nothing in this world has any meaning, including Las Noches. So why are you here in the first place?"
Lilinette looked smug as she stood behind Stark.
"We're going. Come on." Stark motioned at Lilinette and left with out a backward glance. She ran after him with a hurry, afraid she would be left alone with me again.
I stood there thinking about what Stark just said. The initial feeling of anger I had was now gone, and what was left was just a sense of curiosity. What he said was true, I wonder how I never thought of that... Or maybe I did and never realized it. Maybe he was right, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go outside once in a while.
I stood outside in the Hueco Mundo desert. As I thought, there really is nothing here. The endless sand that covers this cold world sing of despair. It is always glittering underneath the eternal moonlight. Sometimes I wonder if maybe the sand was made from bones. The crescent moon that has been hanging in this world since its creation is the only true guardian of the desert. For how many millenniums have she watched over this silent and dead world? Will this world ever change? Will I ever find a meaning in all this emptiness?
We were all wanderers in this desert, and slowly we were united by Aizen sama. His cause was noble, even if it was only noble to him. He mentioned to me once about a human boy named Ichigo, and how he may be a potential obstacle to us. So what if he's a shinigami? It doesn't change the fact that he is just a mere human. They always struggle so feebly, it's pathetic.
I really should be getting back, but there is nothing in Los Noches for me to go back to. If there is somewhere else I can go... Perhaps the human world. Aizen sama did tell us we will eventually have to go there. I might as well do some reconnaissance right now.
I regretted my decision the moment I stepped out of the Garganta, but something caught my attention. It was currently night in the human world, and they seem to have their version of the moon here too. But it was different than the one in Hueco Mundo, because this was a full moon. It was so much brighter compared to the one we had. How curious... The way the moonlight shines on everything seems to be much softer too... I wonder why...
After a quick look around, I realized that I'm in a desolate park. It doesn't seem to be a very well maintained park either, since a lot of the lights were out and there are broken fountains everywhere. This is perfect. I didn't want any humans to notice me and cause a needless ruckus. Even if they are bad at everything else, their ability to panic will always be unparalleled among all the species.
Now where will I go first? I asked myself as I walked along. Maybe looking for high spiritual pressures would be a good way to start... Yes, that would definitely lead me to something.
It wasn't until I walked past her that I stopped. There was someone in this park after all. But I know for sure that she was not anyone important, because her spiritual energy was so low that it was not even noticeable. That was why I walked past her without even realizing she was there. If that was so... Then why did I stop? How did I notice her? Oh yes, she made some sort of movement as I walked past her, and that alerted me to her existence.
"Um... Excuse me but, is there anything wrong?" The girl asked me timidly. "You have been staring at me for quite a while now." When did she lift her face towards me? She looked completely ordinary too. Her face was nothing memorable. She was wearing jeans and t-shirt, hardly anything eye catching. Every aspect of her was so average.
"Did you perhaps mistake me for someone else? People do that a lot..." She smiled. Why did she smile? It's a bad thing isn't it? Why would she feel glad about it?
Unnerved by my silence, she start to show signs of uneasiness. "Are you perhaps lost? Is that it?" She made another stab at conversation with me as I stood there assessing her. "Do you know where you want to go?"
"No." I immediately regretted saying that. I should had just left. But her face suddenly brightened at that, which confused me.
"Well then, if you're looking for the exit to the park, it's over there." She pointed towards the way I came from. "If you go straight, it should lead you back out."
I looked back along the road I came from and looked towards her. She suddenly seem confused too. What is with this girl? Why does she change her moods so fast?
"I'm sorry, I just assumed you wanted to leave... But if you actually just got here please feel free to continue on." She was sad again. "If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask me." She sat back down on the bench.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
She blinked at me as if she didn't understand the question. "I'm waiting for someone of course. I can't leave until he comes."
"Who?"
Her face suddenly turned red at that. This time I was the one who was confused, again. Now what?
"Well... Um... I'm waiting for my boyfriend." She looked away quickly after she said that.
Boyfriend? So what was the big deal in that?
"So your lover." I corrected her.
"What?! No no no... It's not like that! We're just really good friends! Wait, no... I mean... Well we do love each other but not in that way!"
Watching her flailing around on the bench, I was reminded of Lilinette. They are similar in that both of them are incomprehensible to me.
"When is he coming?" I interrupted her.
This seems to have sobered her up. "Well, he was supposed to meet me here at noon." She murmured. "I'm sure he just forgot. He'll remember and come looking for me soon."
I couldn't believe it. Did she really sat here waiting for a whole day for someone that's definitely not coming? I looked at her with amazement. "He's definitely not coming you know."
"No, I'm sure he'll..." Her voice trailed off uncertainly. "Definitely..."
I shook my head. This girl was beyond hope. I turned around at started walking away. I have already wasted enough time already, no need to stay any longer.
Suddenly I heard a string of music notes from behind me. The girl seemed to be scrambling around for something. "Hello?... Oh hey!... No, of course I'm not waiting for you anymore, haha... What? I don't know what you're ... But...Wait... ... ..." Whoever she was talking to must have disappeared, because she fell into a long silence. Then I heard the sound of her snapping something together.
I turned my head slightly and looked behind me. She was sitting there with her head lowered, and didn't move at all. I noticed how she had a very thin body frame compared to other humans. Her skin was very pale too, giving her an even more fragile look. With new resolve, she stood up from the bench and walked towards me.
"So you're lost right?" She tried to put up a brave front, but I can see that her hands were trembling. "I'll take you to where you need to go, so come on. There's another exit here, it's this way." Without another word, she turned around and started walking the way I was going originally. When she realized I wasn't following her, she paused. "Are you coming?" She almost whispered. I can hear her voice cracking. I took a step towards her. Girls can be annoying when they start crying. Better to avoid that as much as I can. The tension visibly left her body as she relaxed. Reassured, she continued walking.
The moon slowly moved across the sky as we walked. Interesting... The moon in Hueco Mundo never changed positions, no matter where you went it was always in the centre of the sky. I could also see other dots of light beside the moon, although they are really faint. I can't believe I've never noticed them before. Maybe it was because I've always been here on Aizen sama's order, never once did I have the leisure like now to notice such tiny things.
The road in front of us was ending, and I can see some city lights in the distant. Looked like we were in the more rural areas of this town. I tried to detect the spiritual pressures again but there were too many interferences that I couldn't pinpoint exactly where they were.
She must have turned around as I frowned in annoyance, because her eyes widened in shock. Her face looked extremely worried.
"Um... I... Did you actually not want to come this way?" She fidgeted around uncomfortably. "Over there is the centre of the town, it should lead you to almost anywhere you need to go."
"I don't have anywhere in mind." I replied.
"Yes ok that's what I thought. I'll leave now... Wait, what?" As she processed my answer she looked bewildered. "You don't know where you want to go?" She looked like she didn't know what to do next. "But I thought you said you were lost... So then... Now what?"
That should be my question. I looked back at her evenly and waited for her to say something. But she seemed to have made up her mind not to say anything else, so I broke the silence.
"Then where are you going?" I asked the first thing that came to my mind.
Her expression slowly blanked out as she thought about that. "I don't know. I don't have anywhere to go."
"Why don't you go home?"
"I don't have a home."
"What do you mean?"
"My mom... She left me a long time ago. My dad... Well, he was depressed and... He never recovered from it. He drowns himself in alcohol everyday, and I might as well stay outside all the time. It's safer and better for me."
"Then where do you go everyday?"
"I go to my boyfriend's house, because he was the only person I could rely on."
"You mean the person that didn't come and meet you?"
She turned away and didn't say anything. She was trembling again, and this time her breathing seemed a bit rapid too. It didn't seem like things would move along anymore, so I started walking again. She followed after me.
"It will be morning soon." She suddenly commented after a long silence. This explains how there was barely any one around even though we were already in the city. The humans are not night creatures, and they need their sleep to function normally. Right now most of them are probably drunken with sleep, except for a couple of course.
I picked up my pace. Might as well have a look around this town before I leave. She must be struggling to keep up with my pace because soon I could hear her laboured breathing coming from behind me. Slowly our distance increased as she fell behind. When it seemed like she was nowhere near me any more I stopped.
When I turned around to look for her she was no where to be seen. I don't hear her anywhere either. I started tracing backwards. I sighed to myself. How did I end up with such a nuisance anyway? She's probably sitting somewhere trying to catch her breath.
As I rounded a corner, I heard some muffled sounds coming from somewhere. I walked along to try and find where it came from. The alley way over there seemed to be the most likely place. In the next second, I stood in front of it and looked inside.
She was there, but she wasn't alone. There were three men that surrounded her. One of them was covering her mouth so she couldn't scream. Another was holding her arms down. The last one was sitting on her legs and holding a knife on his side. She was struggling against them but it was useless. The muffled sounds I heard were her screams against that man's hand.
"SHADDUP YA BITCH!" The knife wielder yelled at her. His speech was slurred, and his face was very red. I can smell the sharp tinge of alcohol in the air. So these were drunks. Well that certainly explained a lot. He slashed down with his knife. It connected with her left arm that the other man was holding and blood instantly flowed from the deep cut.
A high pitched scream came from her as she writhed against the pain. Her eyes were wide with fear and misted over with tears. Eventually she didn't have any energy left for screaming, and her whole body slumped. Whimpering in pain, she trembled violent;y as fresh blood flowed from her veins.
"Dude, she's bleedin' like crazy... Ya sure this is fine?" The man holding her down asked.
"Psh, this little blood? Nah, she's gonna be fine. Ya wanna see what real bleedin' is like?" The knife wielder said with a crazy glint in his eyes. With that, he raised the knife again and aimed for her stomach. The girl froze with fear, and her eyes closed with despair.
I will never know why I did what I did next, since my body seemed to have moved on its own. Before any of them could even blink, I kicked at the knife wielder and sent both his knife and hand flying. Without breaking my stride, I carried the kick through to the man holding her down and pushed him away from her. He crashed into the last man that was covering her mouth and both of them crunched into the brick walls. Finally she was freed from their grasp. I snatched her up from the ground and left before she could even open her eyes.
I carried her away from that alley amidst their screams and swearing. There were no reasons to kill them all, since they were trash not worth dirtying my hands over. As long as she is safe... I looked down. The blood flowing from the wound was slowing down and thickening. There was nothing I could do for her since we Arrancars don't have the ability to heal others. Her skin was turning deathly pale, and there was a sheen of sweat on her face. Her breath was ragged, and her eyes didn't open. She seemed to be in a lot of pain. Just from this little wound? Then again, I can't compare a human to me, since that little knife wouldn't even be able to scratch me in the first place.
After awhile, she stirred a little and cracked open her eyes. Although a bit disoriented, she still did her best to check her surroundings. Her eyes found me, but they were out of focus so she didn't recognize me immediately.
"Oh... It's you... Are you dead too?" She asked dreamily.
"Yes and no." I replied.
"What...?" Her eyes became confused, and she frowned as she tried to understand what I said. "You can't be both dead and alive."
"Yes, I'm dead. But you are still alive."
"Oh I see..." She lapsed into silence again.
"You don't seem surprised."
"About you being dead or me being alive?"
"Both."
"Well... I guess it's because I've always known."
"Was that why you weren't afraid of me?"
"You never harmed me, so what reason do I have to be afraid of you? And plus you saved my life, so thank you..." She trailed off, with a question mark in her voice.
"Ulquiorra."
She started laughing softly. I was caught off guard by it and looked down in surprise. She had momentarily forgotten the pain in her arm, and was laughing happily. Warmth seemed to be radiating from her.
"Sorry, my bad... It's just that, I never expected a foreign name." She smiled apologetically. I kept my silence. There was nothing I could say to that.
"Which way is the hospital?" I asked.
"We don't need to go there." She replied immediately.
"That's where humans are treated."
"Well, they can't help me now."
"It's just a shallow wound."
"No, it's more than that." She whispered. "So they can't help me. Not anymore."
"What do you mean?" I looked down at her. She turned away from my questioning gaze.
"Can you... Take me back to the park?" She asked. "Please, Ulquiorra?" She pleaded. Since I didn't really have anything else to do, I headed back towards that rundown park.
I walked along slowly and carefully. I could get there in mere minutes if I wanted to, but she couldn't take that kind of speed in her state. Such a weak existence... If I even relaxed for a second, I would accidentally exert too much force and destroy her.
There was a subtle change in the atmosphere, and I noticed the sky had gotten lighter. Far off in the east, I can see the faintest hint of dawn peaking over the edge.
"Over there... By the trees." She breathed as we got to the park. "There's... a cluster of trees in the middle of the park... Over there..."
They were cherry blossom trees, the only ones in the whole park. Most of their flowers have already fallen, and there was a thick blanket of petals lying beneath the trees. As slowly as I could, I laid her down amongst the bed of flowers.
"I remember my mother brought me to this place once." She said with nostalgia. "That was the only memory I had of her. My father was with us too, and we were all so happy..." A tear slid down her cheek.
So she was just trying to hide her sadness. She wasn't really a happy idiot like I thought. Her smiles almost deceived me.
"I'm sorry..." She sobbed. It was as if something broke in her, and her tears wouldn't stop flowing.
"I don't understand... Why are you apologizing?" I asked curiously.
"I didn't want you to see me like this..."
"Nobody said you can't cry."
"It's because I didn't want you to remember me like this." She wiped her eyes with her good hand.
I was astonished. Did she really care what I thought about her? Why? I don't understand any of this... "It doesn't really matter what I think of you..." I started.
"Yes it does." She said stubbornly. "After all, you're my friend."
I was speechless. Friend? Did she really call me her friend? Is she really as stupid as she looked? "I think you've misunderstood something. I'm not your friend. We are at most acquaintances. How can you call me your friend when you've only known me for barely an hour?"
"It doesn't matter how long we've known each other, because you have shown me such kindness." A smile tugged at her lips. "When I was sad and depressed, you . When I was almost killed, you saved me. You even listened to my selfish request and brought me all the way here."
I blinked. She's making me sound like a saint. How ironic when I'm actually the devil... But I didn't particularly hate this.
"I knew he wasn't going to come." She suddenly said. "He... Hadn't talked to me for months already. So I wasn't really surprised when he broke up with me. I just didn't want to accept it. But it wasn't his fault..."
"How is it not his fault?" I couldn't say silent anymore. There are just so much things that confuse me about her...
"Well, I'm sure he wouldn't want to have such a burden." She gave a short and bitter laugh. She suddenly started choking, and the next moment she was racked with violent coughs. I watched as blood came out of her mouth. After awhile she calmed down again.
"This is why he left me." She rasped. "He couldn't take it anymore. To have a girlfriend who is dying, that must be hard on anyone. So I don't blame him... Not at all..."
Now everything was making sense to me. No ordinary humans could see an Arrancar, and she definitely was less than ordinary. But maybe, just maybe, if the human was going to die soon, they would be able to see us too. This also explained why she always looked so much weaker and frailer than the average females her age.
She struggled to sit up and automatically I reached out to help her. She winced as she accidentally put pressure on her injured arm, and she slumped onto my shoulder.
"Wow... You're so cold." She said with surprise. "Aren't you cold?"
"No."
"Oh I see..." After a couple beats of silence, she sighed happily. "It feels nice to have someone supporting me like this."
"Even if he doesn't have any body heat?"
"Well that's not really important, because mine is going to be gone too." Her tone was infinitely sad. I noticed her breathing was a lot weaker than before.
"Maybe you wouldn't die..." I tried to be comforting but it just came out harshly.
"No it's fine... It's fine... Because..." She coughed. "I... I'm so happy. I'm glad you're here, Ulquiorra... I didn't want to... to die alone. I was so scared that no one would be with me when I left..."
"You really should stop talking, it's just making your body worse."
She shook her head slowly. "I have to tell you... before it's too late... I wanted to tell you... how thankful I am towards you. I've never felt so safe before... Thank you... Ulquiorra... Thank you..."
It seemed like I should be doing something right now. But what? Should I say something comforting again? I have no idea...
"I'm so tired..." She murmured. "Can I... go to sleep now?" Such a childish question...
"Yes, go ahead." I replied. "You have done enough already, so rest well."
I can feel her smile against my shoulder. Her body slowly let out the tension she was holding as she relaxed. The wind picked up and blew the last of the cherry blossoms from their branches.
"I never knew your name..." I wondered out loud. "What's your name, girl?"
"... ..."
The first ray of dawn streamed through the tree branches. Its gentle touch was so warm... For the second time that day, I laid the girl down on the bed of flowers. She looked peaceful and content. The smile lingered on her lips, and she looked as if she was simply sleeping.
I got up from the ground and stood there beside her for a moment or two. Death may have ended her life, but it had given freedom to her soul.
As I walked along in the park alone, I thought about what happened. It didn't feel wrong to leave her there, because that was perhaps the best resting place she could have. Her family and friends probably wouldn't even notice her going missing. Even if they did, would they care?
Facing the gaping hole in space, I knew it was time to get back. I have already lingered far too long in the human world. Maybe they wouldn't notice my disappearance if I hurried. Well, everyone except for Aizen sama of course.
If anything, this definitely confirmed my thoughts on humans even more. They are so weak, and even the most noble of them will die, just like everything else. Such fleeting lives... Yet they still continue to struggle, and continue to find happiness in their lives. What is it about them that made them like this? Ah yes, the heart.
Hmph... It may be their strong point, but it is also their fatal point. Arrancars do not need something unreliable like that... We're really better off without it.
I stepped into the Garganta and headed back to Hueco Mundo.