A/N: Yes, this is for all the lovely reviewers who review for my first ever Fire emblemone-shot.Because of your overwhelming generousity (and no, that is NOTsarcasm), I'm dedicating this one to you.
Pairing: Hector x Eliwood
Disclaimer: Unless you guys pay me for this kind of thing, I own zilch at the moment.
Pride
By Timberwolf220
One of the deadly sins for this one can corrupt your purpose in life. It is a barrier which few have ever broken though. Tell me, with love at hand and pride in the other, what will you choose? Will you pick the way of hardship or will you be the coward and live without the thing you need the most?
-Observation on Pride, one of the seven deadly sins.
-
"He's acting odd," Oswin commented casually.
Matthew leaned against the bark of the tree, "Odd? How so?" He imitated the same tone in Oswin's voice and his all-knowing look was on his face.
"Distracted," Oswin balanced his spear in his hand before driving it into the ground, "Preoccupied. Almost as if…he was worried about some unforeseen disaster. And Eliwood is also acting odd as well."
Matthew said nothing, the wind sweeping his crimson cloak against his ankles. He ran a hand through his hair, his cat-like amber completely concentrated on Oswin. Oswin was always unnerved by those all-seeing eyes.
"I could answer to your worries," Matthew sighed dramatically, "But Milord's personal fears should not be privy to anyone, even you Oswin."
"But—,"
"I understand your feelings on the matter," Matthew said, cutting him short, "However, I suggest, for your own good and for Lord Hector's that you put this discussion to an end."
"Did he tell you something?" Oswin said gruffly, his feelings slightly hurt over the fact that Matthew knows precisely what is going on and he was left without a sense of direction on the battlefield.
"No. You forget my trade," Matthew stood up and glanced at Oswin, sympathy in his eyes, "Hope for the best Oswin."
(O)
"Has anyone noticed that Lord Eliwood seems troubled?" Harken said quietly.
Isadora shot something akin to a glare, only mildly toned down for his sake, "Of course! He seems so…empty. Like he's lost purpose in the world…"
"Maybe he's just hungry?" Lowen mentioned, only to be lightly hit by Marcus, who had a disapproving frown on his face.
"I doubt it," Isadora said lightly, "Considering you keep such good track of his eating habits." Lowen blushed and looked at the ground shamefully. Harken laughed while Marcus just grunted.
"Be as that may," Marcus said sharply, "He's in no mood for fighting anymore and his thrusts are shoddy. But there is such a deep look of despair on his face that I dare not reprimand," Marcus scratched the side of his face thoughtfully, "I cannot help him there."
There was a quiet companionable silence that followed. Isadora looked at Harken for an answer while the others just seemed lost.
"Maybe we should let it be," Harken said, "These things usually work for the best."
"Or the worst," Isadora said quietly, "I do not want my Lord to go through such hardship on his own."
"But what if…he doesn't want our help?" Lowen fidgeted, "There's only so much we can do and—,"
"Be silent," Marcus said sternly causing Lowen to lapse into a soft misery, "We must trust in Lord Eliwood's spirit."
Isadora wanted to protest, but Harken laid a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. Isadora sighed and nodded.
(O)
"I don't understand. Hector, why won't you say anything?"
"What do I have to say? That I love you back? Do you wish me to lie?"
"T-That's not what I meant! Why won't you answer?"
"…."
"Just answer the question!"
"….I can't….."
"Hector!"
"Hector…" Eliwood murmured softly as he woke up. His dreams have been anything but pleasant. Dreams of Hector leaving him behind, dreams of Hector not answering to his calls. They seemed worse than any nightmare he had ever encountered.
"Why won't you answer?" He whispered to himself. He then got up and put on his cornflower blue shirt and drew back the tent curtain. He sighed as the cold winds of Bern whipped his hair and blighted his arms with goose-bumps.
I'd rather chase your shadow all my life
Than be afraid of my own
I'd rather be with you
I'd rather not know
Where I'll be than be alone and convinced that I know (1)
He stepped outside, fully aware of the time and he needs his sleep. He couldn't bring himself to retreat to his tent like a willful child afraid of the dark. He didn't want to return to dark nightmares and bitter loneliness, even if he is only dreaming.
"If I love someone…" Eliwood stopped and berated himself and said, "I love someone…but I…."
"Why won't you answer?"
Maybe it wasn't supposed to be simple, Eliwood thought, hugging himself, the wind whipping around him, Maybe he wasn't meant to love me and was meant to love another. I cannot ask so much of him…
Yet, the idea of Hector loving another was devastating. Eliwood cannot remember a time when Hector was not there to help him stand up when he tripped and fell or when they were sparring with each other. What would life be without Hector with his Ostian blue armor, giving him an encouraging smile with worry dancing in his eyes. Worry for his well-being.
Would Hector look at someone else the way he looked at Eliwood? Does Matthew or Oswin ever feel the blunt and yet gentle kindness Hector always showered Eliwood with?
"I cannot change it. I cannot change," Eliwood sank to the ground, feeling the grit bite into his knees. He ffelt so helpless, so unable to control his fate, his feelings…
"I won't change," Eliwood told himself stubbornly, "I refuse to!" His voice felt weak to his ears and there was a prickly feeling in his eyes.
"Eliwood?" A lone voice laced with fear called out.
Eliwood started and got up from his position on the ground. There, as always, was Hector looking at him with worry in his eyes.
"H-Hector!" Eliwood rubbed his eyes of any tell-tale signs of his sorrow, "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
Hector grunted, "I need to be sleeping for you to be able to do that."
Eliwood blinked, "Weren't you sleeping?"
"Can't," Hector said, his eyes roaming over Eliwood's face. Eliwood stemmed the blush that was going to come out, "You were crying."
When the world keeps spinning 'round
My world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing
I've got nothing else to lose
I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change a thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing
Eliwood smiled, "It is nothing."
"It can't be nothing if you were crying over it," Hector said sharply, "What was it?"
Eliwood said nothing.
Hector growled, "Eliwood!"
"…Why didn't you answer?"
Hector felt his breath. Quietly he spoke, "Is that why you were crying?"
Eliwood didn't answer. Hector suddenly felt like sinking into the ground and never existing.
He made Eliwood cry.
Eliwood felt his heart clench as he looked at Hector's face. But he tried not to falter as he spoke, "If you truly do not feel anything. If you truly do not love me, you have only to say it. I will not hate you. I can't, even if I tried. But I need you to answer. This hanging question is haunting me," Eliwood felt himself tremble slightly, but ignored the tremors, "Don't do this to me." It was a quiet plea.
Hector said nothing. His eyes gave nothing away when he said, "If I said no, then what Eliwood?"
Eliwood shrugged and said lightly, "Then I would forget about it and things will remain the same."
"Isn't that how it should be?" Hector said softly, "I…"
"What are you afraid of Hector?" Eliwood said suddenly.
Hector looked away, "Of change. My greatest enemy," Hector said, his voice shaking, "What if one day you decide to leave me? What if because I accepted this…relationship…the army might fall apart? What if—"
"Hector," Eliwood's eyes were creased in love and Hector couldn't look away, "Those are a lot of doubts you have. Did it occur to you not to worry about tomorrow? That feeling like these can last as long as Elibe lives? You place too little faith in me," His voice was mocking him gently; "I will never leave you."
Hector said nothing, his eyes facing the ground. Eliwood lifted Hector's chin to meet his eyes.
"Answer my question from before Hector," And Eliwood's voice felt like warm breeze that soothed the creases on his forehead, "Do you love me?"
Hector closed his eyes and smiled, "Well, what do you think?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes' then," Eliwood said, leaning forward and capturing Hector's lips in a chaste kiss. Hector pulled Eliwood closer and deepened the kiss.
(O)
"So he pulled it off," Matthew said to himself, "I must commend Lord Eliwood one of these days. He is one of the few people who have managed to break Milord's pride."
And that is a good thing. For now, nothing can stop them for being together. And should anyone try, they'll get more than two Lords to stop them. Matthew thought grinning to himself before retreating to the shadows.
-
(1) Spin: Lifehouse