A/N - This particular story is Team Jacob so please no flames having to do with that!! Again, this is very silly and would never happen in the Twilight universe but I was bored one day and !Voila! this is what came of it! Enjoy and please review!

Ok, so this is how the story really goes…

It's Edward and Bella's Wedding Day.

"…until death do you part?"

"I do" Edward and Bella reply in unison

2 days later

Bella's writhing in pain. Somewhere in LaPush, Jacob is celebrating. Edward's anxiously sitting by Bella's side. All of this stress has caused Edward to put on some weight. Like 275 pounds. Bella finally wakes up. Bella decides to put on some weight too. She doesn't have an excuse, she just likes to eat. In the fold's of Edward's fat, all of his muscular features are lost and he develops dimples. Thus earning him the name 'dimply'. But Carlisle and Jasper like to spice it up by calling him 'Sir Dimply'.

Meanwhile in LaPush…

Jacob has just met Jennie and her friends Carol, Tyler, and Nicole. He looks them over and then his eyes and Jennie's eyes meet and BAM! Instant imprinting.

The Cullen House…

Emmet has just performed a very solemn ceremony…

Moment's Before

"I dub thee Lady Chubby." While placing the tip of a jewel encrusted sword on Bella's shoulder. But the sword keeps sinking through the layers of fat on Bella's shoulder, thus, holding up the ceremony a few moments. (While making the sign of the Cross with the sword over Bella and Edward's heads,)

"May you and your beloved Sir Dimply live happily ever after in you castle, Frosting Palace, in the magical land of HoHo's and Twinkies. Bella and Edward stand up from their kneeing positions and kiss. They're so happy; it's like their wedding day all over again.

The Black Residence…

Jacob has just called his long lost twin brother, Dean Black, who is amazingly hot, almost as hot as Jacob, to tell him to come back to LaPush, that he knows the perfect girl for him, Carol is her name, and would he just come back home? Dean tells him to calm down and proceeds to walk the 2 blocks it takes to get to Jacob's house.

10 Minutes Later

Upon setting eyes on Carol, Dean knows he is in love. That leaves Nicole and Tyler without anybody. To keep them busy, Jacob sends Nicole and Tyler to go fetch some ice from the local grocery store, about 3 minutes away. Jacob gives them clear directions and they can even see the store, which is only about 10 houses down, in the distance. They start off going the right way but seem to be confused by the directions and end up getting lost.

At Frosting Palace (The Cullen House)…

Edward has just left Frosting Palace for a nice drive by himself. He needs to think. Lady Chubby just hasn't been acting herself lately. She's out hunting at all hours and all she seems concerned about is keeping her 'girlish figure'.

"It's a bit late for that" Edward bitterly mumbles under his breath. When all of a sudden, he sees two girls near the side of the road. These two girls are Tyler and Nicole. He steps out of his car to see if he can help, since they look lost.

"Look at that hunkalicious piece of man candy" Nicole tells Tyler.

"I like 'em big" Tyler replies

The End

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