AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was just listening to the song 'I'm Low On Gas and You Need a Jacket' when I came up with this idea, so I hope you guys enjoy. The song lyrics are in italics.
Also I recommend listen to the song 'I'm Low On Gas and You Need a Jacket' by Pierce the Veil.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the charters from Pitch Perfect and I don't own any of the lyrics I used.
"Choke, tried to wash you down
With something strong, dry
But the taste of blood remains.
Cold empty mattresses
And falling stars, my how
They start to look the same."
She's tried.
She's tried so hard to forget her. But no matter how much alcohol she consumes, she just can't.
Every night Beca goes out, Chloe knows she is going to end up in someone else's bed that isn't there's. She can't even convince herself that she isn't going to cheat on her and that she will come home anymore, like she used to be able to, because she's seen it happen before.
When Beca used to bring her to clubs she has seen her make out with other girls right in front of her. And it hurts, but she knows she can't do anything about it. So every night Chloe goes to bed alone, waiting for Beca to come home the next day and spend a small amount of time together before the cycle starts back up again.
"So keep in happiness
And torture me while I
Tell you,
"Let's go in style."
A million hooks around
A million ways to die,
Darlin' it's cold outside."
Beca finally has her dream job, producing music and djing at clubs. So all Chloe wants is just for Beca to be happy, because she still loves her. She know's the feeling is no longer reciprocated, but those few times Beca would say it back to her she still got butterflies in her stomach and felt as if she was on top of the world.
She knows she should have ended things along time ago, in fact she should have done the first time Beca cheated on her. But it's too late for her to do it now. She's grown too attached.
So she does the next best thing in her mind, pretend it doesn't affect her and thats she is happy with the way things are.
Chloe's thought about just ending it all for herself, stopping the pain right there. But she just can't bring herself to do it. And just as she is about to, there is always that flicker of hope that keeps her here.
"No, no more eyes to see the sun
You slide into bed while I get drunk
Slow conversations with a gun mean
More than I've ever said to anyone"
Deeper and deeper she falling into depression. It's all because of a certain brunette her heart is locked on and won't let go of.
She doesn't really pay attention to anything anymore. She doesn't notice how nice of a day it is, and she can no longer bring out the positive in every situation like she used too.
It just doesn't make any sense to Chloe how Beca is so okay sleeping with other women while she stays at home, drinking away her pain.
She thinks about killing herself more than anything. But she doesn't tell anyone. She won't tell a single body about her problems.
Aubrey's tried to get her to talk about it. Every week they have lunch together and Aubrey notices Chloe depressing mood. She hates seeing her like this, and she knows that it's Beca's causing it. But she can never get her to open up about anything anymore.
Chloe knows that Aubrey is concerned for her, and while it feels nice to have someone pity her, she doesn't want it. So Chloe puts up an illusions that she is fine.
"So keep in happiness
And torture me while I
Tell you,
"Let's go in style."
A million hooks around
A million ways to die,
Darlin' let's go inside
It'll be alright."
"It will all be fine, everything will work out." She tells herself.
The redhead still has that hopes that in the end, Beca will come to her senses and realize that she is hurting her and that she'll stop. But that hasn't happened yet. It's been 3 months of this almost continuous cycle and Beca still doesn't have a clue of how she feels about it.
"But last night you said you ended up in
Palm Springs dancin' on tables,
Almost fought some b*tch at the club (Yeah!)
Got kicked out of your hotel and lost your shoes
Well, f**k, what am I supposed to be impressed?
You're just another set of bones to lay to rest.
I guess it's time to say goodnight,
Hope you had a really good time, good time."
Excuses.
That's all she ever hears from Beca. When she comes home she always gives her the same old excuse. It's always something along the lines of "Sorry Chloe, it was a late night so I just stayed at a hotel near the club." And she say's it's okay, but they both know what really happened.
It bothers Chloe the way she say's it. All proud like, but she isn't impressed by them. But don't get her wrong, she is very proud Beca for becoming a very well know dj and being able to do this kind of stuff in some of the most popular clubs around the city. But she's not impressed of Beca getting laid by some random chick she picks up there.
Every time Chloe starts to move on from her, something pulls her back in. Beca would do something sweet from her, when she was actually home, or give her a small little gift that makes her heart melt. When that happens, she can't possibly think of moving on anymore. So she's trapped and some days she thinks that the only way out is just to kill herself.
It's not that she blames herself for this, she knows it isn't her fault and that it's Beca's, but it just hurts to much and she can't do a thing.
"I will soon forget the color of your eyes
And you'll forget mine."
She just needs to forget about her, because she knows that Beca already has.
"So keep in happiness
And torture me while I
Tell you "let's go in style."
A million hooks around
A million ways to die,
Let's go outside.
It'll be alright."
It's the three year anniversary tomorrow and she wonders if Beca will remember.
Chloe starts to think to the beginning of their relationship. They got together towards the end of Beca and Chloe senior year of college. And the first two years they were together with her was perfect. There nothing Chloe would change about it.
And she doesn't mean to sound cliche when she says this, but it was the best time of her life. It was just Beca and her.
No one else.
Beca was still faithful to her and they spent almost everyday together. But of course that didn't last long. After being together for around 2 year and 4 months they got an apartment together.
Shortly after that Beca began to dj at clubs more often. They began to spend less and less time together and when they finally were together for about a year and a half, that was the first time Beca cheated.
She doesn't remember how this all happened. Beca began slowly distancing herself from Chloe, and Chloe would try to talk to her about. But that it would only stay that way for such a small time, before she began distancing again.
Eventually the red head gave up on her because she came to the realization that she was the only one trying.
But Beca sometimes did invite her to the clubs she dj at. And sometimes she would come home with Chloe, than others she would leave with the girl who had her tongue down her throat.
And that hurt Chloe so much. At some points when she was driving home she would have to pull over because the tears began to cloud her eyes and she couldn't see. Still, seeing that today feels like a punch in the stomach.
So as she lays in bed, still secretly hoping that when she wakes up tomorrow Beca will be with her, she thinks about what's going to happen with her and the brunette, if the have a future or not. Or if Chloe will stay here long enough to give them one.
"But last night you said you ended up in
Palm Springs dancin' on tables."