Title: Insult to Injury
Author: Cailyn
Rating: PG-13; for language. Among other difficult subject matter.
Spoilers: Bete Noir
Pairing: Kate/Tony
Authors Note: To Jordyn, you will truly be missed. Thank you to everyone whose helped me out the past week. Without you, I may now have been with Jordyn looking down from above…
Authors Note II: I apologize for it taking so long for me to get this out but I've had a lot of shit going on in my life. This is my first Tate fan fic so please be gentle when reviewing.
Authors Note III: Please review and tell me if you would like a sequel. I don't think it'd be a good multi-chapter though. However, if you disagree please tell me. Also, feel free to email me. Cailyn116@yahoo.com
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Caitlyn Todd sat in her cool porcelain tub massaging her temples, as she inhaled the fragrant incense sticks she had lit just moments before. But, no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get her body to stop shaking. She was cold, and yet the water was set as hot as it could go.
She looked around her small bathroom. Her Sig Sauer was on the floor next to her and her Smith and Wesson .38 special, on the toilet tank. Granted, this was rather excessive because of the solid oak chair propped under the doorknob. Every other room in her house looks like this as well. When she'd gotten home from headquarters that night, she'd cleaned out her gun safe, and shoving them wherever she thought maybe necessary; couch cushions, behind the coffee maker and behind her mattress. She would sleep with her Sig Sauer under her pillow tonight.
Hah, sleep that was a foolish thought, there is no way her body would calm down enough to breathe normally let enough give into her unconscious and let the visions come to her. Hell, she didn't even need to be asleep to see them, smell them, feel them. His eyes, black, evil and cold. His breath, sour and yet sickly sweet at the same time. The feeling of his body so close to hers and yet she didn't put up a fight.
The phone rang, and Kate jumped grabbing her gun off the floor. Settling down, she slipped back into the hot water, and decided to let the machine pick it up.
"Hey, this is Kate, I'm not here right now, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
"Kate, it's Tony. I umm… was wondering if you were… if you were all right. Give me a call back later if you, you want to talk. So yeah… call me back."
"God," Kate thought to herself, "It's a good thing he has a hell of a smile because his conversation skills suck ass."
She smiled to herself, a half-hearted smile, but a smile nonetheless. She picked up a washcloth out of the scalding water and wiped the eyeliner and mascara smudges off her cheeks. She really needed to invest in waterproof makeup. Feeling only a small amount more relaxed then, she got in she stood up, got her robe off the hook on the wall she wrapped the soft terry cloth around her body and hugged it close to her, craving the warmth.
Slipping her guns into her pockets and removing the chair from in front of the door she entered her bedroom. Digging through her drawers she found a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and changed into them, desperately trying to retain the small amount of heat left in her body. Snatching her down comforter off of her bed, she dragged it out to her couch and settled in front of the television trying to find something that would help to put this day behind her.
When she turned on the T.V., it was already on one of the main news stations. "NCIS investigators were finally released just hours ago after being held captive in their own morgue for 3 excruciating hours…" The blonde voluptuous reporter continued in an overly energetic tone of voice; considering the subject, she was reporting on. The woman continued on, reporting false information to anyone who could sit still long enough to listen. Well, NCIS had finally made the evening news. Although Kate doubted they ever wanted to make it this way. Kate changed the channels and stood up.
She walked into her kitchen and opened a cupboard that she rarely did. Almost hesitantly, she pulled out a large bottle of Dewar's. She poured the scotch into her glass and she got out some ice from the freezer, dropping it into her glass, she loved how the chucks of ice sounded, hitting the bottom of the glass if dropped from just the right height. She typically wasn't one to drown her issues in a bottle but, tonight, she wanted to get drunk.
She resituated herself back on the couch with her drink in one hand, and the almost full bottle on the table in front of her. She returned her attention to the T.V. She flipped to Comedy Central and decided to stay there watching The Chappelle Show. She really didn't enjoy it, but, it was better then the news. Actually, the show reminded her of Tony. ( It seemed like the kind of thing he'd like.) That thought only brought Kate's mind back to the conversation they'd had earlier that evening, before she'd left headquarters, and then to his phone call. She was lost in thought when she heard a strong knock and the door, which abruptly pulled her back to reality.
Before she stood up, she thought about the location of her guns. She slid her ankle holster out from under the couch that she had yet to put back on. She took the Ruger from her couch cushions and tucked it between the waistband of her pants, and her Sig Sauer was in the pouch of her sweatshirt her right hand wrapped securely around it. She also acknowledged the gun by the door, and on the dining room table. When she felt she was safe, then and only then did she stand.
She approached the door and the knock sounded again, hearing a familiar voice calling her name.
Startled, she responded, "Tony?"
"Yeah, let me in, what do they keep you building at 20 degrees?"
Just to be sure, she looked through the peephole, and saw a red-eyed white-faced Tony hunched over conserving heat. Removing the chair from the door, undoing the burglar chain and unlocking all three deadbolts she slowly opened the door.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"God, Kate, even when you've been though something this big you're still a bitch, who would've thought." Tony replied, with a winning smile.
"Shut up and get your ass in here Dinozzo, you're letting out the little bit of heat I've got left."
"Thank you, Kate, you're so kind." He replied sarcastically, as she held the door open for him.
Kate turned around and got another glass out of her cabinet and filled it with ice and handed it to Tony, "Scotch is on the coffee table."
"And you just assume I drink?"
"Look, Dinozzo, I'm getting drunk tonight. You can a) stay and get drunk with me or b) leave. And if you don't like scotch and I have gin and whiskey in the cupboard."
"Alright I'm in," he said picking up the Dear's bottle off the table and filled his glass half way.
"Oh, wait don't sit down yet." Kate reminded herself as she ran over to the couch. She checked all the seat cushions, not remembering if she had anymore concealed weapons. She found only one and she put it on her coffee table.
Tony laughed to himself, "What else are you packing?"
"Well, now that you ask…" Kate said as she sat down on the couch. She removed her ankle holster, and took out the two guns from her pockets. Tony was obviously entertained.
"Anymore I should know about?"
"Two in the bedroom, one in the bathroom, three in the kitchen, and a total of three more in closets." Kate said, not changing the expression on her faces.
"And that comes to a total of…" Tony started as he moved his fingers around pretending to count on them.
"Thirteen. Five revolvers and all the rest semi's, and that's eight if you're too lazy to do that math."
"Holy shit Kate! A little paranoid?'
"Just a bit." She replied uneasily as she to a large swallow of her scotch.
"Well, mind if I add to the collection?" He asked as he pulled his coat off.
"Be my guest."
Tony added a total of four. One from his jacket pocket, one from his shoulder holster, and two from his ankle holsters.
"And you think I'm paranoid? Who the hell had DOUBLE ankle holsters!"
"Alright, point taken. We're both a little freaked out. But you especially have a right to be. You've been through a lot today."
Tony spoke with feeling in his voice. A side of him that Kate hadn't seen until tonight, but there was something soothing about it.
"I'll be fine, Tony. I just need to get really drunk tonight and put it all behind me." Kate replied, taking a long drink of her scotch. It's burning sensation down her throat just a further reminder she was alive.
"Do you think getting drunk is going to help you Kate? If there's one thing I learned during college it was that there are more problems then answers in the bottom of a bottle."
"I don't need the lectures, Tony and I'm not an alcoholic. Hell, the last time I had something to drink was on my birthday over 7 months ago and that was just a few glasses of wine."
"All right Kate, just don't be stupid."
"Well that's a hypercritical remark if I've ever heard one." Kate laughed and smiled at Tony.
"Ok, enough with the sermon, what's on T.V?"
"The Chappelle Show."
"Yes! I love that show!"
"God, I can read you like a book!" Kate mumbled to herself.
"What was that?" Tony inquired.
"Oh nothing," Kate sighed and topped off her and Tony's glasses. Tony picked up is glass to make a toast.
"To good friends, good alcohol, and life."
"Amen to that," Kate replied, and drained her glass.
The two agents sat it silence on Kate's sofa watching The Chappelle Show. Kate moved closer to Tony and he snuggly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Kate was surprised, but not in the least bit put off. She felt safe in Tony's arms and for the first time that day, she was starting to relax. She put her head on Tony's shoulder and sighed.
"Hey, you all right?" he asked.
"Yeah, just reflecting."
"You want to talk about it?"
"Not yet, Tony, not yet."
"Alright," And for the first time, Tony dropped it. He didn't try to push or pry. Pressuring her to get information like he typically did.
They sat very quiet for a while and the silence was peaceful, blissful almost. The two had been accustomed to the silence and when the phone rang it sent them both scrambling for their guns. As if at any second, some masked monster would just out of the phone. Breathing heavily, Kate answered her phone.
"Hello?" She announced, panting to catch her breath.
"Caitlyn?" Asked a familiar voice.
"Mom? It's 1 a.m. my time what the hell do you want!?"
"Caitlyn, honey, It's your sister."
"Wait mom, what do you mean, what's wrong with her, what happened."
"She was found in her apartment two hours ago."
"But wait, she's alright, right?" Kate asked as she felt her knees weakening beneath the weight of her body.
"Caitlyn, she's dead."
"Oh. Oh my God." Kate said as the weight of her body fell back onto Tony behind her. She crossed herself and closed her eyes.
"I… I… She… You… What happened?"
"They're still doing an investigation, but they think she committed suicide." Her mother said between sobs.
Kate fumbled with the phone and it dropped to the floor. With the hand not holding her up, Tony picked up and handed it back to her.
"I'll… umm… get the first flight out in the morning. I've got to call my boss and I'll call you in the morning before I leave." Kate sobbed into the phone, her words barely audible. Kate pressed the off button and Tony spun her around to look at her.
"Kate what's wrong?" He asked.
"My sister, committed suicide." She said as she buried her face in his shoulder. Tony wrapped his arms around her. Embracing her in an inadequate attempt to stifle her tears.
"Oh God, Kate, I'm so sorry." Still holding her, he walked her over to the couch and sat down with her.
"She… I feel so responsible. I mean I have fucking profiler training. I talked to her yesterday she seemed fine. How could I not have seen this coming? It's all my fault!" Kate rambled uncontrollably into Tony's shirt.
"Hey," Tony said pulling Kate's head off his shoulder. "You, look at me." He said with assertion. "There is nothing, NOTHING you could have done to prevent this. It's not your fault."
"But, it is!" Kate said, lightly pounding the couch in defeat and she buried her head back into his chest.
"No, Kate it's not. It was her decision." Neither of them spoke anymore that night, and Kate fell asleep with Tony's arms wrapped around her. Lying back on the couch, he pulled Kate next to him without waking her and picked her blanket up off the floor. After he covered them both up, he drained his glass of Dewar's from the table and turned the television off. He laid in the dark for more then an hour, just thinking. In the morning he would call Gibbs and request Kate take some vacation time. Then he would schedule her flight out. He drifted in and out of sleep with his face buried in Kate's hair.
"Sometimes life was just unfair." This day had been undoubtedly one of the hardest of Kate's life. First her involvement in the hostage situation, and then her sister's suicide. She had said it herself, how a suicide could tear apart a Catholic family. Talk about adding insult to injury.