I do not own Naruto. Unfortunately.

All was silent in Kohona with the exception of the birds chirping cheerfully from time to time. Neji was enjoying a lovely cup of earl grey tea and reading the morning when all of a sudden he heard his wife, Sakura, scream. Of course being the loving, overprotective husband he was he immediately jumped up, grabbed a kunai and ran to his spouse. In his hurry he forgot to activate his bakugan. Which turned out badly when he finally found his lovely companion.

The sight he saw upon entering their bedroom was shocking to say the least. Sakura's natural pink hair color was dyed a bright green. She was looking at herself in the mirror and when he came in. She, wanting to find the…the demon who did this to her beautiful locks, immediately started in on him.

There is a reason why Sakura Hyuuga was known for her atrocious temper. While the medic is normally kind and caring to everyone she meets, when angered the green eyed women was a banshee. Unfortunately for her usually stoic hubby now was one of those hellish times. Sakura was screaming threats and throwing things that due to her master's training was abnormal and would possibly kill him with the heavy items she was throwing.

Poor Neji, was like Hinata before she went out with Naruto. An hour stuttering, mumbling, and, though he would never admit it (It just wasn't manly), tons of hiding latter he managed to end her war path, not for long however. Not for long because then they heard giggling.

When they found the source of the sound, there in a "ninja" outfit was Naruto. Though that was not the trigger for Sakura's war path, no it was his hands. They Were Green. Any guess to what happened next?

If you guessed armageddon you were wrong! Sakura had had enough time to calm her head. Now she was going to get revenge. She began to laugh maniacally. As she hit Naruto over the head with a frying pan that came out of now where.

Neji was now terrified. The laughter coming from his spouses mouth chilled him to the bone. He wondered if Naruto was alive if so he should probably help the pathetic blond…Ah well he would understand, survival came first. He would miss the annoying idiot…well bye! .He began to slowly back out of the room. All the while hoping, praying, that his wife wouldn't notice him. As you know, unfortunately, the branch child never had a chance.

"Ah, ah, ah, Neji. Where are You going?" 'Damn, she caught me. Quick think fast, need an idea, must survive, YES! I got it!" Neji thought quickly.

"Out to turn in your mission report." He said stoically (He was a Hyuuga dammit and Hyuuga's laugh in the face of danger! Ha..ha..ha…mommy)

"Oh. How sweet of you, but you can do that later. I need you to do something else for me." She said this sweetly. However, Neji knew better than to think that this was over, no it was just getting started.

"Alright what do you need, Saku." Neji was optimistic, 'maybe the use of her nickname will calm her down.'

"You'll pick up the things on this list for me, won't you love?" Neji winced, Sakura was serious. She had said it nicely enough sure, but he wasn't a fool. It was an order. The use of the pet name was just to let him know he wasn't going to sweet-talk himself out of this.

She passed him a list and sent hem on his way. Neji glance at the list and shivered at what it said:

The List

One Pink Polka dotted dress size 12 in women's (He hoped his idea was wrong)

Pink High Heels size 8 in women (Naruto had small feet)

Pink lipstick

Blonde wig any size

Bright Pink Nail polish

Hose, Preferably black

Pink Butterfly tattoo and jewelry. (Sakura's sign she uses for ANBU)

-An Hour Later-

Neji came home and handed off the 'stuff' to Sakura. He noticed that Sakura had his old teammate over. Along with Ten-Ten was Hinata, Ino, and Temari , who was married to Shikamaru and was living in the Kohona. He noticed another thing that was bumped Orochimaru off the number one spot on his people-to-be-terrified-of list. They Were All Giggling And Smiling With Evil Looks On Their Faces. He needed to get out of here. Now.

"Um…Sakura…"He said tentatively, "I am going to drop off your report now, okay?"

"Sure don't come back for another 2 hours, though." She waved him off and Neji can proudly say he did not pee his pants, as he ran for the hills, as he heard laughing behind him.

-2 Hours Later-

When Neji finally came back he was traumatized by what he saw. Naruto was dressed up in the things he had gotten from the store. What was worse part? 'Naruka' looked hot. Like a china doll. He threw up a little at his last thought. He glanced at the girls and noticed the were taking pictures of the poor male. 'Females are scary. Not only do they dress the guy up, they "take pictures!'

"Ah, Hello Neji! Just in time! We need your help." Neji fought the urge to head for the hills and to never come back (He would miss Sakura way too much, but still….it was a tempting idea…) asked quietly what they needed. When all of a sudden Sakura pulled out the frying pan again and all went black.

-Some time later-

Neji awoke to hearing voices.

"There all done!" Ten-Ten's rich voice called.

"My, they look so cute together like that!" Sakura's Voice Rang out.

"What a waste they should have been born girls!" He knew that one too. Ino.

"You…don't think we went to far do you?" Hinata hesitantly said.

"NOPE!" Four voices giggled out in unison.

"Your right about Naruto. After all he did turn Sakura's hair green." Hinata's voice hardened at this last statement, "However Neji didn't do anything wrong!"

"It was a needed sacrifice." Sakura said plaintively.

Neji opened his ekyes and looked down…...and saw a black tight dress that went mid thigh. It had long sleeves that covered lace gloves. He was also wearing fishnet leggings and ankle boots. His hair was down and curled. He saw a mirror and turned pale. He was wearing Hooker Lipstick! This wasn't fair! He didn't do anything wrong! He almost cried. Until he saw where he was sitting. He was on "Naruka's" lap his arms tied around his neck. Okay he was now crying. Sakura noticed this and felt bad for him.

"Aw. Don't cry. I will by you those hair care products that you have been eyeing for a while!" Sakura promised. It worked he stopped crying. 'Well at least I'm not an ugly girl'

-Late at night-

"WHAT THE HELL!WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE A GIRL!"

That day Naruto learned a very important lesson. NEVER mess with a girls hair!