A/N: I think I wanted to write this because I've been reading a bunch of Boosh OC fiction and Howard has been getting REAMED. Where is the Howard love?! Anyways, I decided that I wanted to think of an OC that would be right for Howard and I think I've come up with something... maybe. Anyways, we'll just have to see how it goes..

Disclaimer: The Boosh belongs to Noel and Julian and I am involved in no way, shape, or form. I wish I was... I could provide a creative feminine angle that... oh, just read the story already.

Howard Moon was having a bad day and – for the first time in a while – the catastrophe of a day wasn't due to Vince. Not that his best mate was always the cause to his bad days. No, he just seemed to be a lot of trouble, at times. Today just seemed – to Howard at least – to be a day for self-pity, and a pity party was what Howard was having.

"-ward? Howard!" He must have been lost in thought there, for a second.

"What, Vince?" His words were harsh and they made him cringe. He didn't mean to be so callous toward Vince but his patience wore thin too easily lately.

Vince shrunk back but he didn't lose his nerve. He cleared his throat for gumption and pressed on, "There's a sale on, I've just found out." He held up the magazine he was reading for proof, "I was wondering if you'd mind letting me off a bit early. Think you can manage on your own?"

Both men looked around the shop for anything that might give Howard trouble. The only thing in sight – aside from the various objects for sale – was Henry, the cricket, who promptly began singing.

Howard glared at the loitering cricket, "Get out of here, would you?"

Henry abruptly stopped singing and hopped out of the store, grumbling the whole way. Vince turned back to Howard, a hopeful look on his face.

"Alright, go on." As if Howard was going to say no to Vince's patented pout face. Vince grinned brightly and began to prance out.

"Cheers Howard! You're a star!"

"Sure." Howard said dejectedly. Then as an afterthought, he added, "But you're helping with the stock taking tomorrow!"

Vince was out of the shop before the word 'helping' escaped Howard's mouth. Howard sighed and leaned on the counter, putting his head in his hand and gazing miserably out of the front window.

Howard Moon was having a bad day.

Lilly Emerson was lost. She wasn't lost in the usual sense of not knowing where you are. She knew where she was – mostly. Lilly was trying to lose everything else, really. She'd left California with her life savings in her pockets, the best of her wardrobe in a backpack, and her trusty old guitar in its case.

She'd done everything wrong since then. She conquered two of her biggest fears – flying and cramped spaces – all at the same time and now she was wandering the streets of Dalston, Greater London, England, United Kingdom, Europe, Earth – annoyed that she couldn't figure out where she was.

'It could be worse, Lil.' She thought as she turned a random corner. It could, in fact, be worse but that thought didn't cheer her up any.

As she brooded over her situation, she lost track of where she was walking – or, more appropriately, how – and ran directly into what, on first glance, appeared to be a woman in a very ridiculous one piece suit.

"Oi! Watch where you're walking! This is a vintage 80s suit!" The ridiculously clad person shouted, changing Lilly's original opinion on its gender. It was a – although wildly effeminate – man.

"Sorry, I guess I was lost in thought." She took a step back and bent over, picking up a feather boa which definitely didn't belong to her, "Did you drop this?"

"Oh, yeah! Thanks!" The man reached out and yanked the boa from her grasp. He was awfully cheerful. Then he held out his hand again.

"Vince Noir, Rock n' Roll Star." He made the statement as if it were his actual title. As though 'Rock n' Roll Star' were just as common a title as 'Sir' or 'Duke' or something.

Lilly took his hand and shook it politely, "Um – Lilly Emerson?"

The statement came out as more of a question. Lilly was still trying to come to terms with the fact that this man was dressed as some sort of transvestite glowworm. Now he was introducing himself with made up titles? Who was this guy?!

"Alright Lilly. Nice to meet you! I'm off to the shops. Today is a great day for sales. Maybe I'll see you around." He sidestepped her and they switched places, doing some sort of etiquette dance. No, Lilly definitely couldn't dance. Not even politely.

"Maybe." The shock was beginning to wear off at this point and, as an afterthought, Lilly asked, "Hey, you couldn't tell me how to get-"

But Vince was long gone down the road, humming jauntily.

Lilly sighed and continued to walk down the road, looking for a sign of civilization. Her hopes were beginning to sink to tortuous levels.

Lilly Emerson was lost.