Another Hot Day
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Gakuen Alice whatsoever. It completely belongs to the genius Tachibana Higuchi. (/bows)
He sat there and thought about what it meant to be loved, and to love.
It was another one of those completely warm and humid afternoons where a gentle breeze was the only solace against the sweltering weather. Natsume, unlike the rest of his classmates who had gone to Central Town in hope of cooler temperatures and less boredom (Koko had exaggeratedly declared it an evacuative measure), he didn't mind the warmth. He did not enjoy the sun's direct rays, however, and so he sat in the shade of the Sakura tree and read his manga. The wind was almost unbearably intermittent, and even Hotaru had grudgingly accepted the invitation when her air-conditioner had unexpectedly broken down.
But when Mikan had tentatively approached him earlier that day to invite them to their unofficial class outing, he'd declined. Harshly.
"No."
She fell silent for a while at this and he steeled himself for an outburst. Or tears. Or yet another passionate yet ignorant speech on how he was so stubborn, and for a moment he thought he would retract those words, let go of his pride and go with her, to anywhere she wanted.
"It'll be fun! Natsume, just this once?"
There was a stilted pause in which he tried to control his irritation at her naivety. As usual, he let it out.
"You're so naïve," he scoffed, without even bothering to look up, "why would I want to hang out with a bunch of idiots?"
It was more or less another overly bitter response after his last mission and Persona attempting to control his every move. But Mikan, being the completely oblivious little chit she was, smiled and walked away, with a cheerful, "It's okay. I'll be there if you change your mind, Natsume!"
That dense girl.
He knew better, he knew that she was lying long before Hotaru came up to him with her Baka gun in a rare gesture of annoyance and threatened him to tell her what he did to Mikan to make her cry. His heart traitorously wrenched with guilt, and he cursed inwardly.
It wasn't his fault that she was such a crybaby all the time. His fingers curled around his manga, tempted to rip it up and burn it in a fit of rage and annoyance. He was only trying to protect her, yet he couldn't help but hurt her.
He distinctly heard the crowd of his chattering classmates noisily make their way off campus, and even heard Sumire's shrill voice cut through above the din. He shrugged off the vaguely empty feeling he had in his gut, then realised with a sharp pang that Ruka had probably accompanied them, too.
His red-eyed glare intensified and it was hard to swallow the bitter feeling of being left alone. Then he reminded himself. He was different. He had the fourth Alice, and there wasn't any point in entangling any of them in his… darkness. They were too pure, too innocent to be tainted by him.
He wasn't part of them, because he was dangerous.
Natsume silently chanted those thoughts over in his mind, because although it did hurt, it was better. It was for the best. Their safety. Ruka's safety. Her safety. He shut his eyes for that moment, attempting to squeeze the pain of reality away then return to his manga when a sharp gust of wind shuddered through the school grounds of the Alice Academy and swept past the Sakura tree, sending Natsume's jet black hair flying wildly and the pages of his manga to flip rapidly.
He slapped shut his manga and glared against the wind as if to make it stop when he saw.
The first petal fell, and his breath caught at the beauty of it all. The blossoms arced through the air like a flock of miniature pink birds sweeping to the ground and he wondered if there were any petals in his hair.
He sat there and watched them fall, perfection in those pale pink petals and a small part of him marveled. He ignored the manga in his lap and shoved a hand through his hair, leaning his head against the comforting bark of the Sakura tree.
It was a little depressing, Natsume mused, still slightly dazed. Those blossoms lived through the seasons, fighting for water and sunlight, only to reach the end of their lives as they fluttered to the ground, beatifically, perfectly reaching their ends. Life was so depressing. He went on missions and he survived. One day he wouldn't and he would fall and fall like those blossoms he was watching and then he would be gone.
Forever.
Nothing more than a one of many, nothing more than another casualty heartlessly and mercilessly manipulated by Persona. An unfamiliar regretful feeling piled up in his stomach, and he clenched his fists to control himself.
He wished he hadn't been so hasty in declining her offer. The memory of the way the light in her eyes snapped off and how she quickly turned away from his glare still struck him.
He rested his head against the rough but comforting bark and shut his eyes. Everything was far too bright. For him.
"Natsume!"
His eyes snapped open, and he saw her scramble up to his sitting position at the bottom of the tree. She was panting heavily by the time she reached him, much to his amusement.
She stopped to catch her breath, then pointed behind her in the general direction of the gates.
"We're… j-just leaving," she said in a rush. "I wanted to ask if you changed your mind!"
He could only watch her in amusement. She came back for you, he reminded himself. He deliberated with his choices, manga put on hold for the moment.
She stared at his blank look and her face fell. "It's fine – I won't disturb you." Just as she moved to leave, he spoke.
"Let's go."
It was just two short words after a long and annoyingly one-sided persuasion seemingly to herself; but when she heard him she squealed and danced as if he'd just proposed. He leaned back wearily against the tree, watching her in ecstasy but a part of him couldn't help but smirk a little at how he made her smile, so easily.
They left the tree and walked down the path together, an unlikely couple. The blossoms fell, but as Natsume thought to himself as he allowed himself to be pulled along by the overly excitable girl, life went on. Thousands of blossoms fell in time with the swaying of the great tree in the wind, each a perfect pale petal perfected through the seasons and finally brought down to the earth in their eternal rest.
Mikan beamed at him and pointed.
"Isn't it beautiful, Natsume?"
He allowed himself a small smile before he lifted his head to regard her, forever dancing in the wind like those perfect, perfect blossoms, and thought to himself. Even if she fell one day, to touch the ground and rest there for all time, for all eternity. Even with all the even ifs and doubts and trials, he understood.
And he knew immediately what to say.
"It's perfect."
A/N: Hi there! It's finally the holidays now in my country! But ironically I'm actually more busy right now than during normal school days. Hopefully I'll be able to get more fics up though! On a side note, after looking through my profile and my list of stories, I realised that most of the titles are really lame. Any help would be appreciated with that!
Please read and review for this! I wrote this on a really long train ride home because I got really bored. Flames are welcome as well.