A Not-So-Sorta-Kinda-But-Not-Really-Maybe Merry Little Christmas Day
A/N: Hey all. This is just my Secret Santa fic from NFA...I know it's way past Chrissy but hey! hope you like it anyway. I was very proud of myself with this one actually.
I sighed, another Christmas alone, on my couch, eating inappropriate amounts of ice cream and watching overly-soppy Christmas movies. I sighed again.
It's been like this for the past three years. My parents go off on a holiday to Hawaii and my brothers go to see their wives' families in various states, leaving me alone to fend for myself at Christmas.
I'd tried to volunteer to work. Crime doesn't take a break, not even at Christmas. Alas, to my utter disbelief, they already had enough people volunteered to work the Christmas period. Seems everyone wanted the double time money.
It wasn't like I was totally destitute of options though. Ducky had invited me to join him and his mother for Christmas lunch. I'd politely declined. I'd been on protection detail for her earlier in the year and wasn't too keen on the idea of rekindling that acquaintanceship.
Abby too had invited me to join her in festivities. She wasn't going to Grammy Scuito's this year with her family. Her parents had gone to see her uncle in Alaska and Abby wasn't too fond of the cold. Instead, her brother and his fiancée were joining her for some holiday cheer. I didn't want to intrude and as much as I loved Abby and all her quirks her incessant enthusiasm was sometimes too much for me to bear. I could only imagine how much more over exuberant she'd be on Christmas day.
McGee was spending the day with his sister at their parents' place in Jersey City. Palmer was with his mother. Even Gibbs had plans this year that didn't involve work. I didn't want to hazard a guess what Tony was doing this Christmas.
Tony. Now there was a conundrum. The not-do-innocent banter and flirting wasn't going to hold much longer. Eventually we were going to have to face each other on even ground and admit what was going on between us. It was a frustrating position to be in. I could never be sure what he was thinking and therefore could not confront him about our situation. I suspected it was the same for him. So that left us exactly where we began, dancing circles around each other, hoping no one will notice. Of course people did notice. Some were more vocal in their accusations than others. Abby had confronted me about it on numerous occasions. I very rarely went into detail, brushing her off in the same way Tony did, before changing the subject.
Gibbs knew, I don't know what he knew, but he knew. He always did. He never said anything though. I didn't expect him to but I couldn't help but think he was dropping hints with the constant references to rule 12.
I abandoned my thinkings on such things. It did me no good to confuse my mind. I had just settled in to watching Miracle on 34th Street when a knock rapped on my door. Someone had the wrong apartment. Everyone I knew was busy. The person rapped again.
"Kate, I know you're in there! Open the damn door. It's freezing out here!"
The voice was muffled by the door but I'd recognize it anywhere. Yet I still didn't believe it was him. I prepped my best 'What-the-hell-Tony?' voice just in case. When I opened the door though, the tone was just curious surprise.
"Tony?"
"Hey Katie! Want some company?" Before I could compose a decent response he was pushing his way through my front door. He had an armful of bags on one arm and a small, wrapped box in the other hand.
"Tony, what is all this? What are you doing here?" My questioning gaze was ignored as he stumbled into my kitchen. "Tony? Tony!"
"Yes Kate." He finally answered, exasperated.
"What are you doing? Why are you in my kitchen?"
"Gee, I thought you were smarter than that Katie." Came his usual smart-aleck response.
"Seriously Tony, what are you doing here, at my house, in my kitchen, on Christmas day? Don't you have other plans?" I was getting frustrated now. If he didn't start answering my questions I was going to have to resort to violence.
"They fell through. I knew you had no plans. You've been moping and moaning about it all week."
"Once! I mentioned it once. After you asked what everyone was doing for Christmas."
"You could've lied." Tony suggested.
"URG!" I was angry now so I tried to redirect the conversations. "What'd you bring?"
"The best Christmas food money can buy...on Christmas day at the gas station."I chuckled with him as we began to lay the bags' contents on the counter.
"Where's your freezer?" Tony asked. I knew he was just trying to be polite but I couldn't resist the jab.
"Gee, I thought you were smarter than that Tony." He made a sarcastic face and mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch as he put the carton of ice cream in the freezer.
"So, what are you doing?" Tony asked.
"Well you're the one who spontaneously decided to come over for Christmas." I replied.
"So I have to do all the work?" He asked, feigning incredulity. "What do you usually do at Christmas?"
"Usually? I sit and watch movies, try to get into the Christmas spirit, fail at that, and then call my family before bed." I listed.
"Seriously? Why? Why don't you go spend time with your family?"
"My parents usually go away somewhere and all my siblings are married. They want to spend time with their families without their single sister hanging around, drinking wine on their couch. I actually tried to work this year. I figured since I wasn't doing anything I'd at least give someone else Christmas with their family. There were no spots to fill. Apparently the extra money is worth the sacrifice." I finished explaining.
"Wow. Why didn't you accept Abby's invitation? Or Ducky's?"
"What is this? 20 questions?" I snapped. Who was he to judge how I spent my holidays. It really wasn't that bad. I'd never been overly into Christmas anyway.
"Sorry. I was just wondering. Jeez Kate, don't get too defensive." Tony had put his hands up in a symbol of surrender.
"Sorry. It's just I'm not a very Christmassy person. I'm used to being on my own and no one's ever questioned me about it." I explained feeling slightly guilty. He was just trying to keep me company. "So, what are we eating?" I asked changing the subject again.
"Ah, I have the ingredients for spaghetti. Do you have pasta?" He was all too willing to change the subject.
"Yeah, but it's only lunch time. Wait, what gas station did you go to? Since when do they stock the ingredients for spaghetti?"
"We'll have a big lunch and then something small for dinner okay? And, ah, I might have brought some stuff from home." He ducked his head and scratched his neck. I ignored the motion and headed for the pantry.
"Saucepans are in the cabinet you're standing in front of." I instructed him, handing him the pasta I'd pulled out.
"Tonight I'm going to teach you Grammy DiNozzo's recipe for the perfect spaghetti bolognaise."
Soon we were working in sync, wordlessly moving around each other. I opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses and handed one to him as he stirred the sauce.
"To not spending Christmas alone." I toasted. We clinked glasses and drank before going back to our preparations for lunch.
I began setting the table and finished just as he came out with two full plates. He topped up our wine glasses and sat on one side while I sat on the other.
"Bon appetite." Tony invited.
"This is really, really good. I didn't know you could cook." I said, blissfully enjoying the food Tony had served.
"I'm full of surprises." Tony shot me a prize-winning smile.
I hadn't noticed we were leaning so far forward until the phone rang. Jumping back, I stood and all but ran to the phone. We were getting close. I didn't know whether or not I wanted that. Putting such thoughts aside yet again I picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Kate!"
"Abby?"
"Yeah, I just called to wish you a merry Christmas and to make sure you didn't want to come over for lunch or dinner. I don't like the thought of people being alone on Christmas." She was so sweet.
"Nah, Abs, it's all good. I made some last minute plans."
"Oh, with who?" She sounded a little hurt.
"Just an old friend who dropped by unexpectedly, I promise it wasn't premeditated."
"Oh, okay." She sounded a bit perkier at my assurance.
"Yeah, well I better get back to him."
"Him?" She got that devious tone in her voice. I really shouldn't have said that. "Anyone I know?" She asked.
"Maybe. I've got to go Abs. Merry Christmas."
"Okay, we'll talk later then. Merry Christmas." I hung up the phone knowing that I was not going to get out of that conversation easily.
"Was that Abby? What did she have to say?" Tony asked when I sat back down.
"Just wanted to make sure I didn't want to go to her place for a Christmas meal."
"Oh, okay."
"Yeah, so," I began as I started digging into my food, "What were your plans? You know the ones that fell through?" I asked between mouthfuls.
"My sister was going to come and stay but..." I cut him off before he could finish.
"You don't have a sister." Why was he lying?
"My mother..."
"Your mother's dead Tony. You don't need to lie to me." My curious gaze might have made him a bit unnerved by I tried to make my eyes look comforting or supportive. It must have worked.
"Ah, my cable went out." He said sheepishly.
"Seriously? And what, your girlfriend broke up with you because of it?"
"I don't have a girlfriend Kate." I had no response for that. I just left it. I ignored the tension in the room and cleared the table. He followed me to the kitchen, to help me wash up I hoped. I'd just put the plates into the sink and turned to face him when I slipped on the floor and landed in his arms.
"Geez Kate, do you throw yourself at all your male guests?" He laughed as he helped me upright myself. I brushed some hair behind my ear and went back to the sink.
"Nah, just the really annoying ones, I figure if I can knock them out it'll be easier to drag them out the door." I laughed back lamely.
He chuckled and pushed me out from the sink and started washing up.
"You cooked, I'll do the dishes." I tried to reason.
"Nah, I insist. Go find a decent Christmas movie on TV and I'll bring the ice cream out when I'm done." Who was I to argue with that?
The only floor to his great plan was that it gave me too much time to think. I had nothing to distract me from the thoughts my mind conjured up. Bad, bad thoughts. I tried to convince myself that Tony was only here because he had nothing better to do. He'd rather spend Christmas with a work colleague then by himself. It was a fair argument but my profiler training wouldn't allow it. There was more to it than that. He was acting like a gentleman. Much like when no one else was around at work. I started to notice the pattern. Recalling the things he said and did when it was just us in the bullpen or out questioning a suspect or relative. Chivalrous stuff like holding doors and carrying kits. He came into the room with a carton of ice cream, the good stuff too, and two spoons. I pushed the previous few minutes' thoughts out of my head and opted for some light hearted banter.
"What, no bowls?"
"Pft, I just did the dishes, I'm not going to do more." He answered, mocking disgust at such a suggestion. "What did you find to watch?" He inquired, plonking himself on the couch next to me, just a tad closer than was necessary. A few more inches and we'd be touching.
"A Christmas Carol. It's my favourite Christmas movie. I watch it every year."
"I thought you didn't like Christmas."
"I don't. It's just easier than reading the novel every year."
"Bah humbug." Tony said with a mouthful of ice cream. I laughed and scooped out a spoon full of the cookies and cream delight and shoved it in my mouth.
Half way through the movie he yawned and put his arm on the back of the couch behind me. I wanted to laugh at the gesture -- It just screamed teen age boy on his first date – but instead I leaned into his side just slightly and his arm fell around my shoulders. By the end of the movie I was fully leaning on him, his arm tight around my shoulders. As the credits rolled, I dreaded the awkwardness that would ensue when we moved from our positions.
Tony moved his arm and for a moment I was absorbed in how much I missed the warmth.
"So, do you want your present now?" I'd almost forgot about the box he'd come in with.
"I don't have anything for you."
He shrugged. "Meh, I'm sure you'll come up with something." He smiled suggestively and I slugged him in the shoulder, laughing with him.
"Well are you going to give it to me or what?" He stood up and jogged to the kitchen only to walk back in at a more sensible rate a few seconds later, a red and white wrapped box in his hand.
"What is it?"
He sighed in mock frustration. "Just open it!"
I unwrapped it slowly, careful not to rip the paper. I'd always been taught to do it this way. You know, you can reuse the paper then even though no one ever does? I could tell he was anxious. He was standing, looking down at me, rocking on the balls of his feet. It was almost like he wanted to rip the paper off himself just to make the whole process faster. I finally finished unwrapping and screwed the paper I'd so carefully removed into a ball. This was fun, watching his reaction as I stalled. I shook the box carefully, weighed it in the middle of my palm, and scrutinized it with my eyes. He was about to break and I could tell. I moved in for the final blow.
"Maybe I should wait until I've got you a present to open it. You know, to make it fair."
"GAH! Just open the damn box!" He said shoving the box that I'd put on the coffee table back into my hand.
"Okay, okay. Geez, no need to get so touchy."
I opened the box and held back the gasp that instantly came up. I didn't want to seem like a walking cliché as much as I probably was one. Inside was two tickets to a basket ball game.
"I hope you'll come. I just thought you might be into it 'cause you wore the basketball jersey to bed that time in Gitmo but if it's not your thing that's okay. I didn't want to sit through something I wasn't interested in but I can get you something else." Who was this guy? This wasn't the Tony I knew. He was cool, calm, and confident, especially when it came to women. This was a blubbering high school boy. I decided to put him out of his misery.
"It's okay Tony, breathe. I'd love to go." I stood on my tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek.
"That's all I get?" He complained. I laughed and put my arms around his neck, kissing him on the lips. I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me closer, holding me up. I pulled out of the kiss and leant my head on his chest, our arms still around each other. I felt him kiss my hair.
"Merry Christmas Kate." He kissed the top of my head as he said it.
"Merry Christmas Tony."