Hey guys! I'm finally righting a proper story for D Gray Man, instead of all the usual one-shots. Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

By the way...

These are thoughts

And these are the 14th

Chapter 1

Lonely

I feel so lonely here, and yet...

I know I'm not alone.

That mocking laughter never seems to cease within my mind.

A constant, unwanted reminder of a destiny I'm so desperately trying to fight.

I'm slowly going insane...

Just like he wants me too

"The 14th"

The source of my hatred is shrouded in mystery.

I know nothing about him, but I crave the knowledge to defeat him.

I'm slowly being taken over...

I can feel him, crawling further into my consciousness, as I feel mine slowly being dragged deeper into darkness.

His voice, the gentle whisper, has turned into the shouting voice of scorn and sarcasm.

His eyes, the emotionless circles of white, have turned into golden eyes that gleam with ridicule as they watch me.

He, the ever watchful shadow, has turned into the Noah who silently walks by my side.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Pale grey eyes snapped open as Allen jack-knifed off of the bed. Breathing hard, he spun in the room, searching for any other sign of life besides himself, before dropping to the floor in relief. His trembling hand wiped at the beads of sweat clinging to his pale face, before he dug his fingers into his silver hair and let out a shaky sigh.

Another nightmare...

He remained silent as he pushed himself from the floor, it was only then he noticed his food laid out on the table of his cell. Ignoring it, he moved back towards his bed, flopping down onto it before he flung his arms over his eyes. He shouldn't feel this drained after simply getting off of his bed, yet the fact that he was was only further proof of his over exhaustion. Allen didn't need a mirror to know there were large purple circles under his eyes, or that he now was nothing but a shadow of his former self, both physically and mentally. The only food he ate was brought from Head Office by Link, a rare occurrence that resulted in him rapidly losing weight; and with nothing but silence as his companion, he was left alone with his thoughts, and that of the Noah hiding within him. The 14th had a way with words, only ever saying things that would stab and tear at his heart, slowly crushing Allen's will power as he grew in strength.

You're mind is deteriorating a lot quicker than I thought it would

Allen moved his arm so he could glance at to his right, and saw the Noah staring back at him. It wasn't the first time the Noah had come to him like this, yet every time it still took a lot out of the young boy to reign in his fear. It wasn't the Noah himself that Allen feared, but the new form he had taken. The last time Link had come with food the Noah chose to make an appearance; he picked up a chair and flung it across his cell towards Link – who was sitting on the opposite side of the room, trying to comfort Allen. What he thought was nothing but a figment of his imagination, had now transformed into a ghost visible only to himself, but with powers that all could see. After that incident Allen was moved into a cell deeper underground and further from the order, making him even more vulnerable to the torturous words of the Noah.

My name is Neah, not Noah. Is your mind so far gone that you can't even distinguish the two?

Allen watched in disgust as the Noah made a point of walking to the table and scraping a chair to stop next to the bed, before taking a seat.

Even now, you choose to defy me Allen. Why is that? If you were to give yourself to me now, things would be less painful. Your mind would remain intact, your soul untouched; I may even allow you to gain control of this body every now and again... and you would finally avenge your "father" who the Millennium Earl turned into a monster.

Allen chose to dismiss the pang in his heart at the mention of Mana, rolling onto his side, so his back faced the Noah. He'd learned a while ago what arguing with the Noah resulted in. Silence of both the mouth and the mind was the best option, but sadly, it was something he had yet to perfect.

I'm not going to become another pawn of either you, or the Millennium Earl. I'll beat the Earl my own way

A loud chorus of laughter broke the silence of the cell; contempt continuing to bounce of the high brick wall in echoes even after the laughter stopped. Allen closed his eyes and prayed for dreamless sleep to come, as well as for the Noah to disappear; but instead, he found himself wrenched back onto the bed. He didn't even attempt to hide his fear as the Noah held his wrists to the bed, the weight of his body pinning and winding the exorcist; but still, he remained silent.

"I'll beat the Earl my own way"? Such childish and naive thoughts for such an intelligent and mature demeanour! You, a child whose mind is being crushed by my WORDS ALONE, honestly believe you could ever last against the Earl? Believe me child, the only reason you have survived so long is because you were an amusement to the Earl, when he found out I dwelled within you, he began to protect you instead. Don't delude yourself into thinking it was with your own power that your friends survived.

Allen focused on his breathing, trying his hardest to fight the truth warped by the Noah's lies... but he couldn't. Allen's mind was nothing more than a plaything for the Noah, who pushed a different button whenever he got bored. If he couldn't beat him, how could he face the Earl?

...I'll beat you first. I'll drive you back into that dormancy, kill the Earl and kill you along with him. I'm going to take complete control over my mind, and I'll never see you again.

A feral grin spread across the Noah's face as he let go of Allen's now bruised wrists, sliding away from him, and into the shadows of the cell.

The funny thing is, you may have been able to beat me... If you stayed in this cell

The cell doors burst open and men streamed in, Leverrier walked in with and ashamed looking Link to his side.

"Allen Walker, you're being returned to your place in the Black Order. You're to be sent back to your post this instant," It took a moment for the man's words to finally sink in, but when they finally did, a whole new fear settled in Allen's heart.

If I go back... he'll go with me. He'll hurt them; he'll try and gain control so he can destroy the innocence and the order from the inside out.

Allen lashed out as soldiers began to grab at him, using every part of his bound body to convince them he deserved to stay in the cell.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING BACK! YOU CAN'T MAKE! LET ME GO! YOU STUPID SON OF A—" Multiple pin pricks to his body cut him off and his body suddenly became limp. Whatever they injected him with was working too damn fast, and all he could do was force his eyes to stay open as soldiers picked up his body. The last thing he saw with his blurring vision was the 14th standing next to Leverrier, smiling happily.

I'll be waiting until you self-destruct, Allen Walker.

Then, everything went dark.

Should I continue?