Damon sits on his bed, Staring at the mirror from a distance. A notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand, He wishes things could become different. He wishes most importantly he could get Rose back.
"I couldnt tell you why I am writing in something like this. It's not like I'm going to forget something like this. I feel like my stupid brother, Which is sad to me right now. If I could go back and do something that made sense, something that proved A point I would have. Nothing about Katherine, Vampires, The darkness. If I could have only died that night, Nothing would be happening right now. Rose wouldnt be dead, Klaus wouldnt be coming here, Elena wouldnt be in trouble, I would have never seen Katherine again in my life. That's something I wish would have happened"
"Damon?" Elena calls out from the other side of the door.
"Go away" He says low and deep.
"Damon, I'm coming in"
"Didn't you here me say go away? I dont want to talk to anyone. And I'm fine, Understand?"
"I know your hurt. There is no reason for you to hold it back, Will you at least talk to me?"
Damon gets off the bed and walks over to the door. He unlocks it and opens it slightly. He looks at Elena who leans up againest the wall with her eyebrows raised and stares his way. He loves to look at her the way he looked at Katherine, But he knows he'll never have her, He never had Katherine anyway.
"Get this straight. Vampires die, Rose died. It's a normal thing. You think that I'm upset about it? Think again girl, Im not hurt, I'm perfectly fine. Now go run off to Stefan and tell him about it"
She holds the door. " Excuse me? I'm only trying to help you. I care about you Damon, I do. And I dont want anything to happen"
"Yeah. Im sure you care a lot about me" He says pushing her hand off the door and slams it shut. He waits till her hears her footsteps and goes back to the bed to write.
"I'm really sick of people asking if I'm okay. But deep down inside I'm not. Ive been this way for the last 166 years and I'm afraid to change. Rose, Yeah she did mean something to me. Something I havent felt in a long time. I couldnt let her suffer anymore like that. It was to painful to watch. I had to come up with something to do, Someway I could ease the pain and not make it terrible. So there it was, A dream. I was holding back tears during that moment with her. I held her tight when the sun began to rise. Talking about human life, It made me miss it even more. I grabbed the stake as I sat and watched her sleeping on my chest. This wasnt a fantasy anymore, This was real life. So she said she wanted to race, And I told her she couldnt beat me. Once she started to count, I knew I had to before she reached 3. So once she said 2, I did it. I stabbed the stake into her chest. I didnt have another choice, I had to. My heart didnt want to, I cared. But I started to think I was caring to much."
"Damon, We have a problem" Stefan calls out.
"Let me guess, Did Elena send you to cheer me up. Im not in the mood"
"No, Actually I'm serious. It might have something to do with Rose actually"
Damon turns his attention towards the door and puts his pen down on the page. He pauses for a moment hearing the name Rose. Feels like it's calling him, Tearing at him. He walks over and opens the door to find Stefan standing there with his usual blank expression.
"Okay brother, What is it?"
"Are you alright? Have you not been draining any bodies?"
"C'mon Stefan, We both know we dont have all our lives now" Damon says rolling his eyes and holding the door cracked open.
"Do me a favor and dont start to do any dumb things"
"Okay father, I'll be have. Hey I have an idea, Why dont we just get me a guard dog
"Damon I'm serious. Just because of Rose..."
"Just because of Rose what? Just like I told Elena. Vampire die, It's nothing new to me or you. Im perfectly fine and my reckless behaviour wont be any worse, Not scurry along"
"Fine Damon. Fine fine fine. If you wanna keep this all deep down in a dark place, I'll let you have it your way this once. But everyone can see that your hurt about Rose, It's nothing new"
Damon watches Stefan stare at him straight into his eyes before he leaves. He slowly walks away and Damon keeps a close eye on him. Stefan lowers his head before looking back at him. He quickly closes the door.
"Can everyone really see that I'm hurt about Rose? Can they seriously tell? I'm not hurt, I'm perfectly fine, I already know I am. They really think I could be upset that another vampire has died? I killed Lexi, Well I basically killed Vicki, Oh I could continue to name tons of vampires I have killed in my many years of living. Jacob, Eliza,5 Hunters, Joseph, Michael, List will continue for all eternity. It's Rose. Just Rose. It's not like she had any meaning to me anyway, No meaning what so ever. But maybe there was A part of me that is hiding that type of feelings for her. Katherine took all those feelings away and I couldnt like Rose, Not a single inch in my body would. But for some reason it hurts. For some reason I feel like part of me has died in my broken heart." DS