The Worst Naruto Fanfic You Will Ever Read
So one day the rookie nine, plus Sasuke, because, you know, he totally didn't leave…ok, so he did leave, but he'd totally be accepted back into their society, no questions asked, because he was so emo and had a difficult childhood. Apparently this was enough to forgive all the shit he did.
Anyway, Hinata was there, and she was all like, "I'm a crazy stalker bitch, because everyone knows that the shy ones are the crazy stalkers. Also, apparently I'm really in love with Sasuke, even though I've never once talked to him before."
And Naruto was like, "Sakura, go on a date with me."
And Sakura was like, "No way Naruto."
And Naruto was like, "What if I leave for three years and when I come back I'll be ueber smexy?"
"Then I'd instantly go on a date with you!"
Then Sasuke came in, because, he totally isn't in jail.
"OMG it's Sasuke teeheehee!"
Then Ino came in. "Hey forehead."
"OMG it's Ino! Teeheehee! The way we always make fun of each other is filled with unrealized sexual tension."
"Okaaaay….walking away slowly."
Then Rock Lee came in.
"…"
"Don't I get some action, eh?"
"Screw you, you're eyebrows are weird."
"His eyebrows? Have you seen his eyes?"
"Hey, that's mean, eh?"
"I mean, normal people aren't mean to have eyes like that."
"I'm just going to go sulk and drown my sorrows in maple syrup, eh?"
Then three years passed and Naruto came back a smexy demon god.
And Sakura was like, totally horny and all into him. So were Ino and all the other girls. "It's okay, we can share him! Because I'm totally cool with sharing a guy."
And then Konohamaru was like, "When do I get to be in a fanfic?"
And Naruto was like, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaangssssssssst!"
Author's note: I should really stop writing these, but I can't help it.