For Wendy Brune.
Happy Birthday, silly!
By His Side
-Noah Puckerman was sick of being second-best to Finn Hudson~-
He just wanted to know one thing: how come everything good, everything he wanted, always made its way to Finn? Finn had always been the best at football, even when they were five-years-old and mucking around in the front yard while their respective mothers sat inside drinking coffee, Sarah watching them from the front porch. Finn had always been the best singer, even when his mother had entered him in the school talent contest as a surprise, and his knees where shaking so bad that he could hardly walk. And he always, always got the girls that Puck wanted. Like in year five, when Puck was trying so hard to work up the courage to ask the prettiest girl in their class Jessica Samson, out on a date Finn was able to smile at her so much that they ended up walking home that day holding hands, all while Puck was walking behind them carrying two bags his heart sinking.
Noah Puckerman was sick of being second-best to Finn Hudson. Sick of still remembering that Quinn hadn't labeled him as Beth's father, at least not straight away. Sick of not being able to date the girls he wanted, all because they preferred clumsy, adorable Finn over him. Despite having taking her virginity, Quinn had never ever been truly been his. She had gone to enormous lengths last year to not have her baby labeled as sharing his DNA, and that did hurt, no matter how much he tried to forget exactly how his hair crushed at that moment in time last year.
He was sick of thinking about his baby, his Beth. He thought that once she was gone, things would return to normal, he would become the girl-chasing stud that he had been, Quinn would smile at him occasionally, and the whole last nine months would be erase from everyone's memories.
But things didn't go like that. Beth was constantly on his mind, things like was she safe, was she happy, was she loved? He was sick of remembering how she had wailed when Shelby had taken her into her arms, sick of thinking about the way she had looked at him before they left. Why couldn't they have kept her? Sure they were young, but some people said that young parents were the best a child could have. Then he could have seen his baby everyday, watched her grow up, instead of relying on the monthly batch of pictures Shelby sent to Quinn, and the few that Quinn passed onto him. It hurt, watching her be held by strangers that he would never know, seeing her smiling up at the camera toothlessly, watching her celebrate her first Christmas without them.
He just wanted his life to be like it was in the movies, where they all sat around happily, and he got the girl he wanted in the end. He wanted Rachel right where she belonged which was by his side, forever and ever.
But that was never going to happen, because the girl he wanted more than ever was currently attached to Finn's lips. Rachel Berry, the missing link to his pair of 'Hot Jews' was just becoming another statistic of things that had been snatched under Puck's nose by Finn. But he wasn't going to let her slip by, just like he had let the football captaincy, Quinn, Beth, Jessica Samson, the male lead in Regionals go.
He was going to do whatever was necessary to get Rachel back, no matter the cost.
Glee rehearsal that afternoon was horrible. Despite this being the first week of school, Puck was sick of waking up at 7:00 every morning, sick of having to pay attention in class, sick of writing notes down like his hand wasn't cramping, sick of having to see Rachel and Finn making kissy faces at each other all the time. It was like they were in pre-school, honestly they could not keep their hands off each other.
At least he could count on Quinn to smile at him occasionally. Even though they weren't together, and it wasn't likely that they would ever be (had they ever even been together?), things had changed since Beth. There were two periods of time, he thought, Pre-Beth and After-Beth. They'd had a child together, even if she wasn't with them. Things could never be the same as it had been Pre-Beth, even if he wanted them to be.
"Good summer guys?" Mr Schue asked, earning a couple of groans from the back of them. Quinn giggled, shaking her pony-tailed head around. Puck knew exactly what she had been doing that summer, running around like a madwoman in order to lose the weight she had gained during her pregnancy, and trying to become fit enough in order to snatch the Cheerios captaincy back from Santana. She had succeeded, of course. Quinn Fabray never failed. He had followed her to her early-morning runs occasionally. It was nice to share something with her, and it also helped take his mind of Beth.
"It was alright," he replied, half-shrugging with a smirk.
"I went to a dance camp," Mike offered. "It was cool."
"I learned several new songs, if you would all like to hear?" Rachel asked. Finn grinned at her, making her blush.
Puck gritted his teeth, scowling heavily.
"I'm sure that you will have a chance to show us those later on, Rachel. But first of all, I need to hand these permission sheets to everyone. A new year, new permission slips needed for Glee Club. This is a new start, guys."
A new start. Mr. Schue seriously came out with some shit, crap that he knew was porbably past on to him by that wacky counseller chick, things that were supposed to 'provoke' their minds into deeper thinking and the like.
A new start, as if!
Life sucked.
Majorly.
Those stupid songs that said that to look on the bright side of life could go die. Life was never good, or happy, at least for him. He never got a break, never achieved anything that was even worth of a television movie. Finn would be the only one to get out of Lima, probably riding on the coat-tails of Rachel's success, and he would be stuck her forever, cleaning pools and mowing lawns for a living. Stuck here with the memories, and eventually they would overwhelm him and he would become just another part of the statistic of people who took their own life without sort of warning and left their families to pick up the pieces. And even if his daughter finally found out that she was adopted and wanted to meet him and Quinn, she would never be able to know him because he was dead.
That was the way life was gonna go, and he had no power to fight it: it was as pointless as wasting time creating the perfect icing when the cake packet came with ready-made icing. Finn would get everything, the perfect life, the perfect job, the perfect wife, the perfect athletic/singing kids, the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect jokes to tell, and the perfect pictures! And he, he who have supported Finn with absolutely everything, and had only made one really bad slip-up in the time of their friendship, would be nothing.
Puck slammed the car door shut, sighing softly.
Another day at this hell-hole, another day spent glaring at Finn as he made kissy-faces at the girl that he should rightfully have. Now, he wasn't a big fan of religion, all his past girlfriends hadn't been Jewish and he hadn't given a shit. But rightfully, Jewishly, Rachel should even be dating outside of her religion. She was a 'Hot Jew' like him, and it made every sense that they should get together as soon as was possible, get married and have millions of hot spawn. The Torah practically said so!
"Hey," Quinn said, popping up in front of him, and nearly scaring him half to death. Se smiled softly, and he noticed that for today, or at least until Cheerios practice, her blonde, wavy hair was down and loose around her shoulders. It suited her, reminded him of past memories of a swollen stomach and fears for the future. They had grown up so much since them, but yet nothing had changed, really.
"Sup, MILF?" he replied, grinning at her as he tugged his bag out of the trunk.
She crossed her arms across her chest, scowling. "I have something to tell you, Noah," she said, gritting his name out. "Something you need to hear, something I think would ultimately make you happier. And who am I not to care about your level of happiness?"
He crooked his index finger at her, tugging on a lock of blonde hair. "Out with it, Fabray."
She shook her head, falling into step with him, having to take two steps to his one he noticed. "You seen me push something watermelon sized out a lemon-sized hole, I think we've reached first-name basis."
"Could we not bring that up?"
She shrugged lazily. "It's our history, Puck, and it's never going to go anyway."
He sighed, shaking his head softly. "Before you pull me down a trip down dear old memory-lane, what were you going to tell me? I'd like to know before we continue on this journey." He stopped walking, standing still in the middle of the car-park.
"You need to stop this, Puck it's not healthy. Now I know that whatever happened to create Beth was purely a one-time thing, but over those nine months I started to care for you as a good friend. And now you're just going to fall down and ruin yourself, all because of one single girl that obviously isn't work your time. Rachel likes Finn, Puck, and I know that you know that but it is the truth. You cannot do anything to change her feelings at this present time, and if you do, I promise you that she will not be with you for the right reasons. You just need to forget about her, and I know that will be hard, but you need to try, for your sake. I want Beth, if she ever wants to meet us one day in the future, to meet her father and know him as a healthy, happy man, not some guy who's fucked up over some chick that obviously isn't worth his time if she isn't with him right now."
He frowned, sighing. "I am so goddamn sick of Finn getting everything! The male lead in Glee, the girls, the football captaincy! Can't I just get a freaking break for once, why does everything have to be so hard? I like Rachel, I like all of her flaws, I like the fact that she's talented, I like the fact that she's Jewish, but I hate the fact that I had her and let her go."
Quinn shook her head sadly. "What you had with Rachel isn't even worth mentioning, Puck. She was only using you to make Finn jealous, and it worked. Sure, she's pretty and talented, but is she really worth it?"
"I just want Finn to know how not having everything feels, for once!" he shouted, scaring a few of the nervous freshman, bags strapped high on their backs and plenty of pens and pencils safely tucked away.
Quinn placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling gently. "But he does know how it feels. You had me, remember, you stole something from him. For better or for worse, I wouldn't change a single thing because what we created was beautiful. And I know that sounds like it's from some freaking silly cheesy television movie, but it's true. Bethany Rose is perfect."
He chuckled. "Definitely got my genes, hey?"
She elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't kid yourself Puckerman; she takes after her hot mama."
"Shelby is pretty hot, you know for an older chick."
Quinn scowled at him. "I was talking about me, silly!"
Puck grinned at her. "Well, you're okay too. But about the stuff you said before, how exactly is it true? You didn't even want to recognize me as the father for at least half of the pregnancy, maybe more. Probably more. You preferred to have Finn labeled as Beth's father."
Quinn sighed. "I know now that doing that was wrong, completely and foolishly wrong," she said, shaking her head. "I should have never lied about it, and told everyone the truth from day one. Maybe that's why Finn can't even smile at me anymore, not even take the time to even fake a smile. I learnt a lot in those nine months, I learnt that you would have been the best father if we had been able to keep her, I learnt that you are more caring and sensitive than you ever let on, I learnt that you shouldn't waste your time on somebody who obviously doesn't want you, I learnt that just because Finn apparently gets everything over you really doesn't mean shit because my opinion means more and I think that you should be football captain, and you should have male leads in Glee and I learnt that you, Noah Puckerman, are a good guy and you should be with someone who will love you with everything they have."
"Your actually right for once, Quinn Fabray," he said, smiling.
Rachel was just silly not to choose him over Finn, just like every girl hadn't. And this girl in front of him, this blonde girl who had given him so many happy memories, saw that, saw his goodness and care even through the walls he put up. She cared about him, and liked him for him.
"Hey! I'm always right!" she joked, giggling.
"Sure," he said, rolling his eyes softly.
And even though he didn't know what would happen between them, he knew that he was the happiest he had been in a while, and that meant something.
They began walking again, Quinn digging around for something in her bag. "What exactly are you doing?" he asked, shaking his head.
"I'm looking for the photo I printed out this morning, where the hell is it!" She huffed, blowing a strand of hair away from her eyes. "Found it," she sang out cheerfully, shaking a piece of paper around in air while she zipped her bag back up.
"What is it?" he asked, his curious eyes looking at the picture.
"Well, I didn't know how well the whole talk thing would go with you, so I printed this out to give you just in case," she confessed, shaking her head softly.
"Quinn Fabray, not confident about something? Quick we have to get the Jew-fro guy over here, this just could be the news of the year!"
"Oh shush you. Stop being such a smartass, I've had enough of being headline news for the rest of my life! Just look at the picture Puckerman," she said, pushing it into his waiting hands.
Picture perfect though just having finished given birth, Quinn and Beth grinned up at him.
His girls.
And even though the feelings for Rachel would take time to fade away, he really did feel something strong towards Quinn. She had remained by his side even through everything that had gone through , and they had a connection, and that would never fade. He never wanted to let it fade, to be honest.
He didn't know what was going to happen, though, and surprisingly he didn't give a shit. Quinn smiled at him, and by impulse he took her hand and walked up the stairs. It felt right, like his hand had finally found the perfect pair to hold.
Maybe the future would be good, after all.
And in another part of the school, studying over her science notes, Rachel's heart panged. She clasped a hand to her chest loudly, causing Finn to look up in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking her hand, smiling softly.
She shrugged his concern of with a wave of her hand, returning to her notes. "Fine."
What had just happened?
For my deaaaar Wendy-bendy! as a kinnnda late b'day present. Haha, still you should review ;)
