Kings and Queens are trapped in a fated world, our destiny's chosen for us by men who we are supposed to be in control of. And we're entrusted to follow sets of rules as we try to enforce and rule a nation. I always hated that. If I'm to run a country then I should chose my own fate.
Francis told me once that love is irrelevant to people like us. He wasn't lying, either. When we let love get in the way of our decisions, it clouds our judgment, and we make irrational and unjust choices for those we love. Our world is centered around them. It could destroy a country and its people. I despised him for that in the beginning, but I understand why we can't put love first. It's our duty to our countries, a responsibility. But there are those, like Francis and me, who have been lucky enough where love is relevant, where love and duty go hand in hand, and where love makes us better and the world better.
I had been dreading as well as looking forward to what this day might hold the entire journey to the French court. It has been years, but France has always felt more of a home than anywhere else to me despite it not being Scotland. To see Kenna, Lola, Aylee, and Greer again makes me a little less on edge. And there was Francis, too. He stood as both the looking forward to and the dreading. It had been ten years since leaving and I knew it'd be different now, knew that somehow things would change and the childhood friendship I had with Francis when I was six would be altered by the fact that we would be married soon.
Memories of us chasing each other, playing in the mud, and laughter filled my head. My childhood was occupied by him and how much fun we had. I've wondered how life would differ from how it is now if the English hadn't threatened my life so harshly as a child. Whether we would be friends, enemies, or even lovers. But either way, we'd be getting married, because the treaty and alliance told us so. It was and never would be up for debate unless commanded by the King himself.
But there have been rumors and things I've been told about Francis that make me wonder exactly what this alliance is and how strong it is. Rumors of lovers and of illness. But whether he loved someone else or not, it didn't change any of the technicalities. I was being sent to France because our countries friendship could be useful if England ever attacked, and France to us was the same. Francis would be king one day and I his wife, and that was all. Many kings were known for not loving their wives and for keeping mistresses throughout their marriages, and for all I knew Francis could be the same. We were in an arranged marriage, after all.
I was lost in a sea of worries of what my life would be once stepping out of the carriage. At the very least, I had my friends, and I could only hope that Francis would be what I hoped for, not what I dreaded.