I can't speak English and I can't understand it very well, but I can read and write in this language. I like to fill the gaps of my ignorance with my imagination after every episode, waiting for my great friend and beta reader Hannival to enlighten me about it. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm not. This time my imagination has come out with this flash-fic by Amy's POV, set after Friday's First look. Stendan, of course.

feedback is much appreciated

Author: Scar

Beta-reader: Hannival Kinney

Genre: introspective

Characters: Amy Barnes, Brendan Brady

Rating: G

Warning: spoiler, flash-fic

The deal

It's been days and Brendan's words are still jangling in your head like a death knell.

His low and snaking voice has outstretched ahead of you a dark future, made of uncertainty and loneliness.

And you can't help thinking about what would you do if one day Ste really decides to move on and live on his own. With Doug, or any guy he's crazy about. Someone who would make him forget his duties as a father, reminding him, at the same time, he's just twenty-two, his whole life ahead of him, still to live, without the burden of a family on his shoulders.

Without you.

Sure, there is Ally, but there were others before him, and none of them lasted enough time for you to start making plans for the future.

Ste was the only certainty in the meantime. The only one you have always been able to count on.

Until now.

Doug seems just right for him.

He's smart, down-to-earth. He has a boundless sweetness in his eyes when he talks to Ste, when he looks at him, while he plays with the kids. Even with you he's just perfect. He loves Ste and his world.

Maybe for this reason you are afraid he could be the one who will take him away from you.

You can't simply imagine Doug, like Noah, cheating on Ste with the first random he meets. Or, like Brendan, scaring you, or remember to you the passing years, your fading beauty, having loaded a guy just came out of age with the responsibilities of a family that you wanted.

And while you're staring at them, Doug and Ste, exchanging each other small gestures of a love in its first stage yet, Brendan's voice keeps scratching in your head with words he hasn't even told you, but that you have understood perfectly.

He doesn't want to take Ste away from you, he just wants to be part of his life. Of your life. Again.

Without the American ruining his plans, if possible.

And your heart aches at the thought that it's going to be you the one who will set his trap.

But it's the only way you know to avoid a catastrophe.

Brendan is such a creep that has learned to read the heart of everyone and, now, even yours.

You've got a plan.

You're not sure it will work. In that case you have at least thousand more in reserve.

You know Ste, you know his heart, his impulsiveness. You know that lately he's been unwilling to forgive, especially betrayal or anybody who could endanger your life or your children's.

You get up and turn off the TV. You make an effort to smile and say goodnight to the boys and lock yourself in your room.

You have Brendan's number again. He gave it to you in the eventuality that you agreed to his proposal. He's even willing to give you the apartment as a gift if everything goes as planned.

You dial the number and wait to hear his voice. He's almost excited, you would dare to say.

"Amy!"

You feel his effort to stay quiet, but you know, you know well he would shout for joy had he not the name he has.

"I'm in, Brendan" you tell him.

Your voice trembles a bit, instead.

"Tomorrow it will be over between Ste and Doug" you add, convinced, as if you hadn't been clear enough.

You hear a hint of his laugh. That laugh that has always hit your nerves.

"Don't underestimate me, Brendan" you protest quietly and smugly. "I'm a woman, after all."

Both of you stand silent for a while. You hear his hoarsely breathing through the phone and, at the same time, you feel unpleasant shivers behind your back.

"Brendan?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you'll be nice to him" you add, while a shadow of what people call guilt bites your heart.

You hear him nod with moans and other sounds that you don't dare to name.

"Stephen has nothing to fear from me. I'll take care of him. I promise. You just have to play your part. I'll take care of everything else."