.
Disclaimer:
The TMNT and TMNT universe are property of Nickelodeon/Viacom, based on characters created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. This work is not for profit and for the fans.
Warnings:
Mild Language
Awards:
- First place winner in the first contest for deviantArt fangroup #Non-turtlecest.
- HM in the Stealthy Stories 2011 Competition for "Most Accurate Portrayal of the TMNT".
A/N:
This is a short prequel for my massive TMNT Action/Adventure epic titled, Right Where it Belongs, coming soon. Stay tuned to my profile page for updates.
03.30.12 - Gave this one another pass and fixed some of the grammar issues.
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Right Where it Belongs: A Parting in Four Parts
by demonsweat
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A firm knock came to the sliding door, rattling the paper between dividers. "Enter," said the voice inside.
Raphael walked in, shutting the door behind him. "So I get t'be first this time, eh?"
Splinter smiled a little. "Kneel, my son."
Raph did as instructed, lowering himself to the mat before his sensei. The room was lit by several groups of candles, as it so often was, giving off a calm essence. The faint scent of incense was there, a sweet smell and fruit-like, one Raphael recognized. It was a blend of herbs April had given his sensei as a gift some time ago and his master was quite taken with it apparently, since Raph picked up the scent of it nearly every time he was called in here.
"Raphael," Splinter began, "I believe you know of what I wish to speak."
Raph let out a short sigh. "Yeah."
"My trip abroad will span many months. It would do my soul a great service to know that this home will not be in a state of unrest in my absence."
"Yeah, right… look, as long as Leo stays off my case, everything'll be peachy. So how's about you just let him know when you guys have yer little talk here."
"Raphael."
"Yeah, okay. It was worth a shot." He sighed. "I don't see why ya gotta go in the first place."
"My son, I understand that my leaving puts a great strain on you all. But you must know that this is a necessary thing."
Raphael didn't look at him. "Necessary for who."
"You know the answer to that as well. I know you do not like to hear these things, my son. But I feel the age in my body, I can tell with each passing year that I have not many more ahead. In fact, this may be my last journey of this sort."
Raphael continued to avoid his father's look. Instead he reached up and grabbed the long, red tails of his mask, twirling them around his fingers. "Well if yer time's so limited, then why do ya haveta leave at all? It don't matter how many times ya do this, it ain't gonna change nothin'. Ya keep tellin' me this is for all of us, but I ain't buyin' it – I know yer doin' this for Leo."
"There is truth in your words, my son, but my trips are not solely for your brother's benefit."
"Yeah, well I sure as hell don't need this."
Splinter ignored the disrespectful language, focusing instead on the matter at hand. "Raphael, look at me." He waited until Raph gave in. "I believe it is you that needs this most of all. You carry a great weight on you at all times, a thing that both saddens me and makes me proud. For while I understand that it is noble at its core, it causes you great inner turmoil. You alone find it most difficult to accept the ills of the world, and I worry for you, my son."
"C'mon Sensei…" Raph's face twisted.
"I am sorry, my son. I cannot change the inevitable, I can only hope to prepare you for it."
Raphael's chest rose and fell with great effort. After a few moments, he blurted, "Leo's never gonna replace you!"
"Nor do I want him to. It is not my intention for your brother to 'replace' me, Raphael. I only wish for one to look after your safety when I am no longer able." Splinter stood then, taking the few steps towards his most troubled son and placed one bony claw on his shoulder. "Your brother is not your enemy, Raphael. Remember that Leonardo cares for you, as do we all. He would sacrifice everything to prevent you from harm."
Raphael waited a few seconds before responding. "I know."
"You must remember that his is a heavy responsibility, one that he does not wish to share. But it is not out of greed or power, but rather to spare you the strain one must endure to lead. You may never truly know what this means, but listen as I say this to you: it is better if you never do."
"You think I couldn't handle it."
Splinter thought for a moment before answering. This was dangerous territory. Jealousy was a black thing, and he'd watched as Raphael teetered along the edge of it for many years, going as far as to pull away from his own command as a result. Since then, they'd found some reconciliation but he supposed that being passed over for the job of successor would always be a wound of sorts. "Raphael. I chose Leonardo for this purpose for several reasons, because he exhibited the traits of one suited for such a thing. That does not mean that the rest of you do not share in some of the same traits. However, you must know that there are specific reasons that the three of you were not chosen. What of your younger brothers? Could you imagine them in this position?"
"Pff. Yeah, right. Donnie'd never have us train, prob'ly have us readin' books all day or somethin'. And Mikey… jeez, don't get me started." He grunted, mumbling, "I'd take orders from his damn cat before I would that bonehead."
He stopped there, silence falling between them as a fog, engulfing the two until the old rat spoke again. "And of you, my son? Why do you think you were not chosen?"
"Because I…" he said through clenched teeth, "…because I'm not strong enough."
"No, my son. You lack the ability to control your emotions. But this is not necessarily a flaw, as I have witnessed it come from the best of intentions. Most notably, I have seen how you are unable to dull yourself to the cries of those in need, often ignoring the cost to yourself. It is commendable, but unfortunately a trait that hinders your capacity to lead. For while I know you would stop at nothing to defend your brothers, you do not afford the same preservation for your own life, and that is equally as important in a leader.
"Leonardo understands this. In addition, he has trained himself to put the four of you before all others in his mind, a thing that is not easy when lives are in the balance. This is an ability afforded only to those who can see beyond immediate necessity, who can weigh odds and make decisions based on a greater picture. It is a skill unique to your brother, and while it takes a great amount of inner strength to achieve, it does not define it. There are many ways to exhibit one's strength, and I can say with certainty you are not lacking in that."
Raphael thought it over a moment. "Maybe yer right. But that ain't the only reason, I know." He stared at his hands, clenching and unclenching. "I just can't control it. I get so pissed off and – and I dunno. I just wanna kill those bastards! They're always after us. We gotta hide down here, hope that they don't find us… we're never really gonna be safe. And when I think about that, I just wanna wipe every last one a them off the fuckin' planet." He huffed, mumbling, "Sorry 'bout the language."
"I understand this anger my son but it troubles me how much you allow it to consume you. You direct too much of it inwards, allowing it to cloud judgment. And you direct too much of it towards your brother, when he seeks only to help you, Raphael."
"Yeah, well... he's got a funny way a showin' it sometimes."
"Leonardo is not without his own faults, my son. I had to choose one of you, but only one. There is a pride that comes with command, but there are also terrible consequences to be had for failure. Know that Leonardo carries this burden every moment of every day."
"Well he doesn't have to. And I didn't ask for that anyways, I can look after myself."
"You may not have asked for it, my son – but I did."
It was there that Raphael looked into the face of his father and saw this for what it truly was; not a lecture to get along with his brother, not admonishment for his past sins, but a request. A simple request from an old rat who did not believe he was too much longer for this world. So many years he'd spent, training them and teaching them the ways of survival, all towards the purpose that they might grow strong enough to carry on without him one day.
This went beyond master and student, beyond duty and expectations. This was his father, worrying for him, wanting him to be safe. It wrenched at Raphael's chest, twisting the muscle inside. "I'm sorry," was all he could say.
"Apology is not necessary, my son. I know that you will find your way. But you must allow us to help you, and you must allow your brother his position. It is said that a general is only as good as his men. Your brother cannot lead this clan without your help especially, Raphael. The two of you are very strong when you work together, but apart I foresee nothing but disaster for our family."
Raphael did not answer, instead keeping his interest on the woven mat before him. The old rat smiled. He felt the pity gnaw at him, the sadness that existed always there for his most temperamental son. There was ever a storm inside of this one, and while Splinter sought to ease his son's mind, he knew that his influence was limited. His son might never find true peace but perhaps that was as it should be. If Raphael could only gain more control, channel this thing inside to something more manageable, it would be enough.
Splinter touched Raphael's chin lightly, encouraging his son to look up once more. "I know that you share your brother's burden, even though at times it may seem like I do not. It is one reason why you are such a strong component of this team, and why Leonardo needs your support most of all. Though I did not ask this thing of you, I am most proud of you for doing so. And so I will leave you with a request, the same I will make of him.
"Raphael, my son. Watch over in my stead, and see to it that your brothers remain safe."
He hung his head once more. "By your word, Sensei."
~.~
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Splinter looked over his things and was confident that he had everything he needed. He would be traveling light of course, just some food and water mainly, extra clothing and a trinket or two to remind of home. Six hours until the freighter left for the coast. Once inside the rig he had many long and tiring days of travel. The ship would be worse, hiding in the cargo hold for weeks. But there was more room to maneuver on a ship and he would have time enough to search for a comfortable hiding place.
A light, even tapping came at the door.
"Enter."
Donatello walked in to find his father exactly where he had guessed, kneeled on his tatami mat and awaiting his arrival. He shut the door carefully and stepped forward.
"Kneel, my son."
Donatello obeyed, laying a large canvas bag down by his side.
"Donatello my son. I must depart in a few short hours. I understand that you must give me my instructions."
Don chuckled. "You know me too well, Father." It was an old joke between them. As Donatello grew older and flourished into the genius he was, he'd also taken on the role of team medic and chief engineer, making sure that they were prepared for every encounter with the surface. And of course his master was not exempt from that. As time wore on and Splinter watched his sons grow into young adults, he often found himself less wearing the shoes of the teacher and more the ones of the student; especially in the case of his most brilliant son, whose intellect spanned far beyond anything he was capable of. It was no secret that their survival over the years was largely due in part to Donatello's fervent study of a multitude of subjects, one of the most recent being various types of weaponry that might give them an edge in battle.
"Well," Don started in, "I've brought along a few things that might help on your journey. Now I know you're trying to go light," he said, unzipping the duffel bag at his side, "and I know how you dislike guns. But these are to stun only - I assure you they're non-lethal but very effective. I've got some heavy hitters though, if you're interested." He reached in again, pulling out items as he listed them off. "Basic shrapnel grenades, a few compact landmines… some claymores here – boy, claymores are great, they're easy to set and pretty effective for keeping enemies off your back. There's also… let's see here… oh! Some C4 left over from the Dragons' warehouse raid last month… and here – these are so cool – remote mines! I don't have many, but they're small, they'll stick to anything, and they really pack a punch!"
Splinter blinked at the array of weapons on the floor. "I must say, my son – I find all of this most impressive, though I cannot say I am entirely untroubled by the fact that you boys seem to need such weaponry."
"Ah, well… always best to be prepared, right?" He cleared his throat. "So uh, anyways – if you're not into the explosive devices so much, I have some of the basics – smoke pellets, caltrops… of course detection devices, infrared -"
"My son..."
"-night vision goggles -"
"My son."
"-or, here's something I just cooked up…" Don rummaged in his bag, pulling out a handful of small, cylindrical items. "Flash grenades! Perfect for stunning your opponent without the need to take his life. These are much better than my last batch. Guaranteed not to go off accidentally." He grinned.
"My son," Splinter tried. "Again, your devices are remarkable but I have no need for them. I would not understand the technology well enough to benefit from it." He held up a bulky set of goggles, looking them over as though they might spring to life at any second.
"Well, okay. I still think you should take a flash grenade or two, you never know when one might come in handy."
He chuckled. "I have gone along all of these years without the help of such things. And though I do not deny that it offers convenience, I am certain that I will manage."
"Oh. Well, if you're sure…"
Don's disappointment was not lost on the old rat. "On second thought, perhaps I shall reconsider. It is never wise to become over-confident in one's ability, after all."
"Yeah?" Donatello brightened. "Okay, look – just take one of the flashbangs, in case of emergency. And a few smoke pellets, they're pretty small." He handed the items to his master, who proceeded to turn the grenade in his hand, looking at it a bit unsure, before stowing it in his traveling pack. "I'm going to assume you have the basics: shurikens, compass, lighter, utility knife, maps… lock picking set?"
"Yes, I have those things."
Don smiled, dropping his palms to his thighs. "Okay! Let's talk first aid."
With a small sigh, Splinter began, "My son, as I said, I do not wish to burden myself with too much -"
"Master, please. You must take some first aid items. This time I'm not going to take no for an answer!"
He could not help but smile. "Very well, show me what you have brought."
Donatello pulled a smaller pack out of his bag and opened it, showing his father the items inside and instructing him on their purposes. There were bandages and tape, small bottles of antiseptics and simple surgical tools, along with a few other odds and ends. Also included were several types of medicine, some basic over-the-counter types with a few of the behind-the-counter variety just for good measure. Splinter listened patiently as his son went through each one, describing doses and proper usage of each, pushing aside the question of exactly how their genius had come to acquire the pills he knew were commonly found under lock and key.
"I kept it as basic as I could. Believe me, I could've added a lot more but as you said – I didn't want you to get bogged down."
Splinter took the small first aid kit from his son with a short bow. "I am indebted to you, my son. Your knowledge of these things has once again served to aid in a time of need."
Don returned the gesture, tipping his head forward slightly. "Thank you, Sensei." Rising back up again, he asked, "One last thing. Are you sure I can't talk you into taking along your phone? Everything's locked on it. The security features won't allow just anyone access to the information inside."
"I am sorry my son, I do not wish to risk it. I believe that what you say is correct however, there are those who could decipher these 'locks' as you say, if I am not mistaken?"
"Well, technically yes, but -"
Splinter put a hand up. "It is enough. Should I be captured or worse, I would not want anyone to trace it back to the four of you."
Donatello nodded. "I understand."
Splinter settled back down, kneeling in front of Don. "Now my son, if there is nothing else, I would like to ask something of you."
"Of course, Sensei."
He smiled, squinting slightly with the effort. "As you may remember, when I last returned from Japan, I was met with accounts of arguments and unrest. It has been several years since then and you are no longer children. However, I do not wish a repeat of these events.
"You understand that your brother Leonardo will bear much of this responsibility. I am confident that you, my son, will serve to support his position. Follow his instruction as you would mine, for it is my word from his lips, and my will from his orders."
"Yes, Sensei."
"Now. Leonardo will be, as he often is, focusing much of his attention on Raphael. Considering that, I would like for you to help ease the strain of his command by, shall we say, entertaining Michelangelo."
"Oh Sensei…" Don groaned.
Splinter chuckled. "Now, now. I am not asking that you monitor his every movement. Only that you help keep him focused on his training and perhaps prevent him from interfering between Leonardo and Raphael. Your brother means well, Donatello – but we all know that Michelangelo can be, at times, somewhat inattentive to the things around him."
"That's putting it nicely." Don uttered a tired sigh. "I still haven't finished cleaning up his mess from the bathroom flood debacle. I mean really – how does he forget to turn off a faucet? It's not rocket science." He rubbed his forehead. "Between that and the back door Raph busted last week I've got my hands full already. Oh, and let's not forget the leaky pipe under the kitchen sink, the two monitors that are out in the living room now, and just yesterday Leo said the van's starting to make a 'funny noise', so who knows what that means." He sighed again. "And don't even get me started on my courses. I don't know what made me think I had time to take both Chemical and Mechanical Engineering classes in addition to the Human Studies course but if I don't complete my thesis this week, I'm in danger of being dropped from the class. I can hardly complain though. I'll say it again – the invention of the internet is the best thing that ever happened to us subterranean intellectuals."
Splinter laughed softly. "Of course we appreciate your continued sacrifice, my son. Now, about your brother…?"
"Alright Sensei, I'll try to keep an eye on Mikey. On one condition?"
"What is it, my son?"
He smiled. "That you take care of yourself and come back to us safe."
Splinter smiled. Ever the worrier, Donatello fussed over him much more than the others. It could almost be exasperating at times, for his son clearly underestimated his ability at staying alive. However, he assumed that there was arrogance there on his part as well, as the elderly (ninja masters though they may be) are never wont to accept that they are, indeed, not as they once were.
With a bow, he said, "I give you my word, Donatello, that it will be so." When he straightened, he added, "And the same to you, my son – be safe, in my absence."
With a smile, Donatello agreed. "Of course, Sensei."
~.~
~.~
Three raps at the door this time, even, solid, and with the perfect amount of force to be heard without moving the wood much.
The old rat took in a breath and let it go. "Enter."
Leonardo stepped lightly into the room and shut the door without a sound. Right away his senses picked up the odor of the calming incense, the one he knew his master only burned in times of great stress. He supposed that was no surprise. As upbeat as they'd pretended to be about this in everyday talk, there was an underlying edge to it. His master had only traveled away from them like this a few times and this would only be the second time he was attempting a trip as far as Japan. Leo walked forward and stood before the mat, waiting patiently for his master's word.
"Kneel, my son."
Leonardo did as he was told, again waiting silently to be addressed. His master, a stone figure, opened his eyes and leveled them with Leo's own. "I welcome you here my son, though I feel that there is little left for me to say. We have talked in length prior to this and much of what I would say to you now, I fear would be repeating myself." He took a deep breath. "And so, instead of more instruction on my part, I ask you this: is there anything you wish to discuss, before I depart?"
Leonardo broke his father's gaze, settling his eyes to the mat in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead closed it again.
"What is it, my son? Tell me what troubles you," Splinter asked, already knowing the answer.
"I am… unsure of my task ahead, Sensei. I'm afraid I am not as confident as I should be."
The old rat nodded as though he expected those exact words. "I understand, my son. I know that the four of you feel grown, but you are still young. And you especially Leonardo, though you have trained many years for it, have yet to learn much in your role as leader."
Leonardo kept his eyes planted on the mat, tracing the woven bits as he spoke. "I fear I will fail this test, as I did the last time you left us."
"My son," Splinter said gently, "if I return to four sons still alive and well, I will consider that a success." He paused, watching his oldest, hoping that the words would take effect. The crease in Leo's brow lessened but did not entirely smooth away, so he started again. "Leonardo, I have taught you all that I know. You are, and have been for some time, ready to lead this clan." He smiled. "Do you suppose that I myself, have always been as I am?"
"Master?"
"When the four of you first came to be, I found myself with four small beings where I had never even considered such a thing. You four were helpless, your survival wholly dependent on me. It was an overwhelming task, though not without its rewards.
"As you grew so did my worry for you. You became curious of your surroundings, of the world above us. I knew that survival would always be difficult, unless you had something to give you the upper hand. It was why I began to train the four of you in the art of war. I believed at the time, as I still do today, that fate brought us together for that reason, for without these skills you may not have eluded those who would seek to capture or destroy us."
The old rat paused, looking away at a picture close by, a photograph depicting the four brothers. "In those days, I was very unsure of myself. I did not have the resolve that I have with me now. It takes a lifetime to conquer the fear of failure, especially when so much depends on you. And I made many mistakes. But as I always say, failure is an important part of the process, allowing us to see where we must improve, and teaching us humility."
Leo nodded slowly. "I understand."
"Tell me, my son. What is it that you fear? Why do you doubt yourself?"
Leonardo did not hesitate in his answer. "I fear I will make a poor decision and it will cost one of them their lives. I fear I won't be able to protect them."
Splinter nodded, considering it for a moment before answering. "It is a substantial fear my son, and not without merit. But tell me, how does my presence here change this?"
"I -" Leo paused, unsure of the question. "Because I need your advice, of course. I need you to tell me if I'm doing the right thing or not."
"Hmm." Splinter smiled, thinking it over a moment. "Leonardo, in these years since you've come to be adults, you still come to me for guidance, though it is a formality. And while I am pleased that you do so, I do not feel that I can offer you much of what you do not already know. Even now, you know what my words will be before I speak them."
"But – the others. When they fall out of line, it's you they listen to, not me."
Splinter stared hard at his son. "The others?"
"Alright," Leo said, giving in. "Raphael."
"I understand that you are weary over the conflict in your brother's temperament, as it is a thing we discuss often. But this should not cause you to lose confidence merely because I am not here. After all, I rarely accompany you in battle as it is, and if I understand correctly, it is there that most of your problems lie."
Leo's chest rose and fell. "That's true, but… I just don't understand why. How can he be so reckless with so much on the line? This is serious, our lives are in danger. And I have to worry every time we're out there that he's going to lose control and do something stupid, and – and I don't know. I just can't shake the feeling that something terrible will happen and I won't be able to stop it. I can't get through to him like you can, and without you here…" he trailed off, shaking his head.
"My son. I understand this feeling of helplessness. But you give me too much credit. I know it appears that Raphael considers my advice more but I assure you it is only an illusion. Raphael has chosen to draw himself away and while it causes me great pain to watch it happen, I also accept that it is simply his way. This cannot be changed. We can however, help to guide him towards the correct path. His life is his own Leonardo, as much as you would like to live it for him."
"I know, Sensei. I'm just not sure how to deal with it. He fights me at every turn, every time I try."
"You already know the answer to this, my son. Only through great amounts of patience on your part, will you be able to reach him. It is not an easy thing and I know that it takes great effort on your part, but I have faith that you will persevere."
Leonardo grimaced, shutting his eyes tight. "Sensei – forgive me. I sometimes feel that this responsibility is too much. It's hard enough worrying about our legitimate enemies…" He looked up suddenly. "But we're supposed to be on the same side here! Doesn't he understand how difficult this is without having to deal with his constant disregard for every one of my orders? I'm only trying to do what's best for us all." He shook his head in disgust. "I just don't understand why he can't see that!"
"Leonardo, you must remember two things. One, that this is not easy for Raphael. It may seem as though he creates these problems for himself, that it is his own fault. And while it is not right for him to lash out at the rest of you, you must find sympathy for him. This is not an easy life, and unfortunately your brother has never found a way to deal with the fear that constantly lies beneath who we are. He is afraid, Leonardo – but fighting him will not help him conquer that fear.
"The other thing to remember is that though Raphael may challenge you, it has no bearing on the fact that he is your brother and cares a great deal for you, as he does all of us. Raphael would put your life before his own. You know this, do you not?"
Leonardo considered it. His first thought would be to answer yes, of course, any of them would. He closed his eyes and thought hard. Reckless, is what he was. Thoughtless, but usually only when his own life was concerned. Too many times had Raph thrown himself in the way of the enemy, taking a hit for one of them. For him. He always did, even when it was stupid to do so. He didn't even think, or try to incapacitate an enemy by any intelligent means. He just put his body in the way – and usually ended up putting himself in the infirmary afterward.
And wasn't that why Leo lost his own temper with him time and time again? Because Raph had gone off half-cocked, defied simple logic and done something stupid and reckless again? They both knew who was going to pay the price for it. But Raph didn't care, and it was impossible to get him to see how selfish that was.
"Yes, Sensei. That's exactly it. He's just so stubborn. I… can't protect him."
Splinter waited a moment before responding. When he did, he seemed older somehow, the years showing themselves through the worry in his voice. "You must, Leonardo. Without you, your brother is lost."
Splinter buried the guilt that threatened to surface in times like these. It was not easy to watch his eldest struggle with this responsibility. He'd spent many hours in meditation over his decision to choose Leonardo as his successor, unsure if it was wise to place so much on one so young. Even at an early age, it was apparent that Leonardo showed the signs of leadership, often taking charge in their games and looking out for the wellbeing of the others. But their lives had changed considerably over the years and where he'd once thought he'd be training his son to merely keep them hidden from the surface-dwelling humans, Leonardo was now tasked with keeping them safe from their enemies. This conflict between his two eldest was especially troubling, serving only to divide them and weaken them as a team. No matter how much Splinter wished that he could fix this thing, it could not be so. His was the role of guide, and though he could only serve to encourage his sons, his belief in their ability to resolve this was genuine.
The old rat rose and went to his son, placing both hands on his shoulders. "Take heart, my son. Look not to Raphael as an adversary, but as your ally. He too, watches over the rest of you with the careful eye of protector, though he may not always show it. Keep him at your side in battle, and you will never be bested."
Leo nodded, looking worn, but sounding a bit more determined than he had. "Yes, father."
"Remember my words today Leonardo, and remember also that though you are unique in your abilities, you are not alone in your duty. All of your brothers – Donatello and Michelangelo included – are in need of your guidance, but you must know that they are also here to aid you. Listen closely to their thoughts and opinions my son, for every great leader keeps an open ear to the voices of the ones he leads. One day, it will only be you that they look to and when that day comes, you must have the support of all three.
"With that in mind, I will leave you with my final order, the most important of your tasks and the one that takes precedence above all others.
"Leonardo, my son. Watch over in my stead, and see to it that your brothers remain safe."
Leo bowed his head obediently. "By your word, Sensei."
~.~
~.~
A clamorous rattling shook the door on its hinges, the perpetrator using both hands to rap on the worn wood.
With a grunt, the old rat shouted over the din. "Enter!"
"Hey Sensei! Leo said it was my turn. Saved the best for last, huh?" Mike grinned, sliding the door shut behind him a little too hard, causing his master to wince slightly.
Splinter opened his eyes slowly, careful to keep his scolding light. This wasn't a time to get distracted by little things. "Michelangelo, your brother will not be pleased if he must repair yet another door in this home."
"Sorry Sensei. Guess I just don't know my own strength." Mike's grin widened as he walked forward. It was difficult to feel true frustration with the youngest, whose cheery attitude always superseded any thoughtless behavior he might exhibit. When Splinter next spoke, it was in a much softer tone.
"Kneel before me, my son."
Mike did as instructed. Noting the formality of the situation, he asked, "So is this gonna be a serious talk, then? I'm not in trouble, am I? 'Cuz if you're gonna bring up that thing from last week again, I gotta say it was mostly Raph's fault and -"
The old rat raised a hand. "Easy, my son. You are not here to be reprimanded. It is my hope that you will consider what I have to say important, but you may speak freely here. However, let us try not to deviate too far from the topic at hand, shall we?"
"Okay."
"Good. Now, as you know, I will be departing very soon. I will not be returning for several months. In that time, you three are under the sole command of your brother Leonardo. I must insist that you follow his instruction, Michelangelo. I will not be pleased to hear that you have not taken his words seriously."
Mike rolled his eyes, huge smile still in place. "I'll be good."
Splinter smiled. "See to it that you are, or you will find the end of my walking stick awaiting you when I return."
"Aw, man! Always with that stick! Y'know, I get more bruises between you and Raph than I do the Foot!"
The old rat grunted. "You are lucky for that, then. The Foot will not stop simply with bruises, my son. And that is why you must listen closely to Leonardo while I am gone. His every word goes towards the purpose of giving you advantage over our enemies – remember that." Splinter closed his eyes then and breathed deep before he spoke up again. Incredibly, Mike did not break the silence in the moments between his words. "Michelangelo, I must ask a great favor of you."
"Really?" Mike looked a little shocked. "Sure, anything Sensei."
"Raphael is most troubled by my departure. I would be pleased if you would make the effort to try and keep him in high spirits, if possible."
"Jeez Sensei – why dontcha just ask me to move a mountain? It'd be easier."
"Michelangelo."
"Okay, okay. But seriously? How am I supposed to do that? I mean, you do know that half of my scars came from him, right?" Mike looked himself over, zeroing in on a small mark under his arm. "Like this one! Get this – there I am in the kitchen, minding my own business when – WHAM! – a frickin' shuriken outta nowhere! Grazed me, stuck in the wall – scared the crap outta me!" He rubbed the spot on his arm with the memory.
"And this attack came unprovoked?" Splinter asked tiredly, already sure of the answer.
"Well… not exactly. I sorta found these uh… magazines in his room." Mike looked around a bit uncomfortably. "Not bad ones! Just you know… with ladies in 'em. Classy ladies! Ones in college! I think. Well, probably. Gotta pay that tuition somehow, right?" He laughed, but his father was not sharing in the joke. "Uh, anyways. So I sorta drew some funny stuff on 'em. Y'know, captions and clothes and stuff – um… I mean more clothes, I put more clothes on 'em. Like winter jackets and hats and stuff." Splinter placed a hand to his forehead, as though it hurt inside there. "Well, Leo and Donnie thought it was hilarious. Raph not so much. But he didn't haveta attack me for it – it's hardly worth drawing blood over, doncha think? Man, you do not wanna catch that guy on a bad day."
Splinter let out a tired sigh. There was a multitude of things wrong with Mike's story but again his master found himself pushing aside that lecture in order to focus on more important matters. "This is precisely my point, my son. These months ahead will be a trying time for your brother and I would appreciate your cooperation in keeping things civil around here. You and Raphael share many activities together. Try to focus his attention on these positive things and away from his troubles, specifically his conflict with Leonardo. And remember Michelangelo – sometimes, inaction is the best action."
"So… wait. You don't want me to try and cheer him up?" He scratched his head. "What am I supposed to do here again?"
Again, Splinter sighed. "Michelangelo, just do not get on his bad side."
"Ohhh, I gotcha. Aw, but I just got those bugs!" He answered his master's raised eyebrows before the old rat could ask. "Fake bugs, Sensei – no worries. Got 'em through the mail. And! I got this sheet the same color as the ceiling in his room, right? Gonna tie that sucker up above his bed on a hair trigger… then I creep in there after he's asleep, pull the wire and…" Mike grinned, working his fingers to simulate rain, "Creepy-crawlies raining from above! He's gonna freak - it's gonna be so awesome! I'm thinking about asking Donnie to loan me one of his cameras."
Splinter didn't answer, instead returning one hand to his forehead.
"Aw, c'mon Sensei! They're just rubber bugs, it's not gonna hurt him. I still owe him for tripping me up on a run a few weeks ago. Sent me right into a pile of garbage." The look he was getting prompted one last plea. "Maybe just a couple in his food?"
"Michelangelo."
Mike crossed his arms, slumping a little. "Alright, fine. Can I at least pull some stuff on Donnie? He never gets piss– I mean mad, he doesn't get mad about that stuff."
A small, exhausted smile found its way onto the old rat's face. "If it is a thing you must get out of your system, then I would suggest focusing these 'pranks' of yours away from your two eldest brothers. Though I must remember to apologize to Donatello for this in the future."
Mike giggled, rubbing his hands together mischievously. "Heh, heh – Donnie's never gonna know what hit him."
"That said," Splinter added, "I wish for you to use some restraint, my son. This is a difficult time for us all and I am not without guilt at that. It is necessary however, and I am confident that the four of you will carry on fine without me."
"Right, if Raph and Leo don't kill each other. Those guys are totally -" noticing the change in his master's expression, Mike caught himself, "-ahhh, totally fine. Yeah, things'll be fine. Leo's got stuff under control, right?" He let out a nervous giggle.
Splinter let out a deep sigh. "My son, may I confide something in you?"
Mike swallowed. "Uh yeah, sure Sensei."
"If I must be honest, it is not Raphael and Leonardo I worry for the most. The two of them have their problems but each focuses on this heavily, and I am confident that they will one day find resolution." Splinter paused, clasping his hand in his lap. "However. In their struggle, I fear sometimes that they are not focused enough on you and Donatello, and this family as a whole. I often worry that you younger two get overlooked, pushed aside for this battle between them."
"Oh. Yeah, maybe." He shrugged. "But me and Donnie are fine. We can handle ourselves."
The old rat nodded, thinking it over. "I have had certain… visions. Things I cannot interpret fully. It may be nothing but I would ask you, my son, to take care, and to avoid any risky behavior in this time."
"Sure, Sensei. Don't worry, okay?"
"Very good." The years smoothed from his features as Splinter's warm smile returned. He looked upon his youngest then and reflected for a moment. A brief thought went to the dreams that had plagued him in recent weeks, wondering if there was anything to them, or if it was just his overprotective nature taunting him with fearsome images. He suspected it was merely the latter, since similar types of visions came to him prior to his last trip away, and indeed such thoughts were almost expected before embarking on such a lengthy amount of time away from his sons. He did not however, recall these images ever being as strong or as vivid before.
"Sensei?"
Broken from his dark reverie he turned again to his youngest, sitting uncharacteristically still and looking just a bit concerned. "Yes, my son?"
"Um, I was just wondering… what do you do when you're in Japan, anyways?"
Splinter looked a bit surprised by the question but answered nonetheless. "I visit the places that I knew, travel roads that my Master Yoshi and I walked together. Sometimes, simply looking upon the flowers that grow along the roads is enough, to smell their scent brings to me memories many years gone."
"Huh. I dunno, sounds kinda boring to me." Catching himself, he shrugged apologetically. "Sorry."
Splinter smiled. "That is only natural. You are still young and creating the memories you will have one day. As one ages, you find yourself clinging to those times that are gone, for they only exist within you. And once you are gone, so too, are those experiences. For one such as myself, it stirs complex emotions, to reminisce and relive these times, to visit with ghosts who have long since passed."
His signature grin missing, Mike said, "That sounds kinda sad, Sensei."
"I suppose that it is, in a way. But all things must come to the end of their path, my son. As I've said to you all on many occasions, life is ever about the journey. And mine continues here, with the four of you. I may, at times, go back to relive those days of my youth, but have faith that I shall return my son, and that our journey will continue together until I too, come to the end."
"I wish you weren't going for so long. We're… gonna miss you." Mike bit his lip.
"And I you, my son." He rose then, pulling Michelangelo to him in a brief, firm embrace. When they separated, he continued. "Remember what I have told you here today, Michelangelo. You have as much duty to your family as any of your brothers do. In my absence, the four of you must be strong together, to help each other when the need arises."
"I guess." Mike didn't sound sure.
"Do not fret, my son. I know that our future is forever in question. We are unique to this world and have strong enemies on the surface. But I have taught you all well and you have surprised me with your aptitude, not just in your training. The four of you create a balance that is necessary for your survival, both on and off the battlefield. Remember that your brothers need you Michelangelo – without your presence, they would not survive."
"Well… I know they'd get their butts kicked in a fight. That goes without saying." He flexed, big grin returning as if it had never left at all.
The old rat chuckled. "That is a perfect example of your most important ability, my son."
"Yeah? I knew it, those guys would be toast without my ninja-kicking skills. Seriously, I wasted twice as many dudes as Raph the last time we were up against the Foot - no lie! Uh, but don't ask him that, he'll just deny it. He's so jealous. It's sad, really." He beamed.
Splinter chuckled again. "While I believe you are formidable in battle, that is not exactly what I meant." To Mike's quizzical look, he answered, "I speak of your ability to stay positive, to use humor in keeping morale high. It is an excellent quality, my son. When things are at their darkest for our family, it is often your enlightening attitude that reminds us not to lose hope."
"Really? I do all that?" Mike scratched his head. "Just by making dumb jokes?"
Splinter nodded. "Indeed. And while at times it can create a disturbance, I would never seek to stifle this thing too much, for it is a most important element in our lives. And again, why I've asked you to concentrate on Raphael, who is often in need of your positive influence. Though I would be wary to suggest such a thing to him."
Mike laughed. "No doubt. Raph'd totally blow me off if he thought I was trying to cheer him up. What's with that guy and the 'lone wolf' act? It's like he can't ever let anybody help him out with anything."
Splinter laughed softly. "Your words are more profound than you know." He rose, indicating that Mike do the same. "I must dismiss you now my son, so that I may be with my thoughts before I leave here. I will be thinking of you all on my travels. Keep my words here today close, and above all else - be safe, my son."
Mike gave his master his biggest, most toothy smile. "I will, Sensei."
They bowed to each other then. As he watched his son go, Splinter settled down into position, preparing for his final meditation, glad that he'd chosen to leave off with his youngest. He'd known that conversing with Mike would serve to lift the cloud of doubt over him as well, and though he did not feel as though the darkness was entirely dispersed, their conversation had helped to part a bit the gloom surrounding his impending journey. As always, and without even trying, Michelangelo had brought light to a place where there had been little. And Splinter was glad for it.
In the hours of meditation before his departure, the old rat kept his focus on his four sons, washing his mind of worry and trying to clear the way for pure introspection. It was a difficult task, more so than he would have anticipated. He attributed this once again to his age. There were few years ahead of him he was sure, and the question of whether or not his sons were ready for his final departure was still that – a question – in his mind. Perhaps it always would be, and rightly so. For when he meditated on the thought of his death, he did not feel a sense of danger for his sons, only the sting of their loss and his own sorrow at parting from them.
When that day came, when he was to lay his head down for the final time, Splinter believed that he would do so in satisfaction. For despite its most difficult times, his life had given him much. Could he ever have imagined, on that day the canister of strange liquid dowsed them, that he would have found such joy in raising four small turtles? He smiled at the thought, thinking back to it fondly, remembering his doubt and fears, unsure of himself at his role as a parental figure. How things changed. And where it was once his task to ensure that they relied upon him, it was now his duty to see that they no longer did. The thought should have perhaps been a sad one, but as he looked upon the four one last time before his journey, it was not sadness that filled him in that moment.
Dressed in a hooded cloak with only his walking stick and a small pack of things, Splinter met his sons at the front door to their lair. With a final goodbye he took his leave, looking to the road ahead with the image of his sons foremost in his mind, occupying the place where thoughts of them always did.
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-END-
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