ACADEMIC RESOURCE CENTER (UNFINISHED)

by Sublime-Chinstrap

The three roommates, Batman, Maya, and L (from Death Note) adventure together in a horrendously difficult to read quest, to defeat Amon (LOK) and Pinky Pie (MLP)

S: The sun set with the momentum of forty men. Batman, the silent dark
knight, watched over the now darkening city of San Francisco. Of course, he
had to, for he couldn't pay the bills on his astonishing estate. The government
quickly foreclosed his abode, and he now lives in an apartment. Cold and quiet,
Batman sat in his room, looking out the window. He could hear the sounds of his
two roommates, L and Maya, arguing through the dank walls.

C: "For the last time, L! I don't know who ate your cookies!" Maya screeched.
Batman sighed and shook his head. Out of all the people in the world to be roommates
with, these two? Batman continued his gloomy death stare at the sun, whose velocity
has increased ten-fold. Ten minutes passed, and Batman has felt a slight breeze whip
his cape far behind his back. Suddenly, he heard a new voice speaking to Maya and L.
"Excuse me, I am looking for an apartment to live in? Are there any open?"
The man's voice was European, British of origin. Maya began to talk, be the man cut
her off and rambled about some history of his. Batman grew annoyed by this man's voice.

S: He promptly turned the other cheek from the Sun, who became violently
depressed for being ignored. The Sun stood on a chair, wrapped a tight rope around
its neck and jumped. The Moon burst into tears, crying over the dead planet of
the Sun.
"I'M SO SORRY, I WASN'T THERE IN TIME." The Moon wept. Suddenly, slight
movement told the Moon that the Sun was not completely dead. It's eyes slowly
opening into a squint. The Sun grew a weak smile, struggling to keep it.
"It's okay... You only had... a few hours... before you rose..."
The Moon responded quickly, almost panicking "But, without the
Sun, how will people survive?"
"Don't worry..." Said the Sun, it's eyes beginning to close. At almost a whisper,
the Sun managed to finish his sentence. "You can take over..."
The Moon, crying still, set the Sun down. With an vengeful stare, the Moon zoomed up into
the sky, ready to take over the job the Sun once had. Batman watched the entire scene with
awe, but quickly pushed it out of his mind, and walked into the living room.

C: There sat Maya and L and a strange creature on the couch. He walked in through
the window, which was as normal.
"HAI BAWTMAHN." Shouted Maya. Wildly flailing her right arm at the elbow. Batman
flicked his wrist indicating the return of a greet. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed
a bag of Snackoos. causally walking back into the living room, Batman sat in his favorite chair.
He opened the bag of Snackoos with ease, and began eating three at a time. He looked up from
his food-shoving-in-mouth-fest and stared at the three on the couch.
"Um, what's that?" He asked quietly, hoping he wouldn't offend the white thing next
to L.
"This is Exacli-" L began but was quickly cut off,
"I AM THE ALMIGHTLY EXACLIBUR!THE GREAT HOLY SWORD OF ENGLAND! I HAVE COME SEEKING
GREAT WISDOM AND HEAVEN IN CALIFORNIA! I ONLY WISH THAT YOU COULD TAKE ME UNDER YOUR
WING AND SHOW ME AROUND THIS MARVELOUS LAND!" He still rambled on about California being
the "Heaven" Batman yawned and cut Excalibur off,
"Go away."
"FOOL! I WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE!" Batman sighed and stood. He walked to the
weird thing on his couch. he lifted him up from his cravat.
"BWATMAHN! WAT ARE YOU DOIN'? DOWN'T HERT TEH POUR THANG!" Batman ignored Maya's plead
for safety and promptly tossed Excalibur out the window.

S: "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oollllllllllllllll..." Was
the last thing the three roommates heard of the white figure. Batman sighed, his eyes shifting back
to Maya. She was standing, shocked, staring at Batman. He could tell she was impressed by Nathan's
earlier alteration from the previous sentence.
"That thing was getting on my nerves" said Batman, throwing the empty snackoos bag away.
"BWUT, WAI YEW HAVE'A THROWM OUT DEH' WINDO'?" yelled Maya tugging on her top-knot.
"Well, he was an intruder, quite a loud one too." said L, folding his legs up toward his
chest. Batman stared at him.
"What are you doing?"
"Doing what?" L replied reluctantly, giving Batman a quizzical look.
"Sitting like that" said Batman, taking a seat back in his favorite chair.
"When I sit up like this, my logical deductive skills increase by 20%, compared to standing."
Batman just stared quietly, not knowing what to say. L continued to look into space, and Maya
stood near the window, her mouth curved at a wide-angle, and both her eyes pointing in different
directions. It was quiet for a few more minutes, then suddenly, from the chair across from Batman, L
screamed.
"I KNOW WHO DID IT, I KNOW WHO ATE MY COOKIES!" L stood up, and hunched over, his fingers
clasped around his chin in thought. "Lack of finger prints indicate that the person wore gloves!
Also, there was black hair close to the jar too! And I noticed that there was a black cape right
next to the jar! And there was a bat-shaped metal throwing object inside the jar! And my video tape
caught a shadowy figure taking the cookies!" L said, pacing quickly. "There could only be one person that
could have taken them...And that would be YOU, BATMA-"
"OBJECTION!" Yelled a voice from the door, as Phoenix burst into the room. Maya quickly grabbed him
by the butt and the pointy hair and tossed him out the window. "LOL D00D PHOENEEX AIN'T EVEN EN THISO FANFICTIO EL TACO"
Batman stared again.

C: Batman and L stared at Maya with hasty. As Batman began to counter L's accusation, a spotlight flashed
and flooded the room with intense light. Batman raced to the window, and peered out to see a giant steam punk blimp
floating above the apartment complex. Someone with a megaphone called out to Batman specifically.
"ARE YOU BATMAN? YOU ARE GOOD. I WILL BE KIDNAPPING YOU NOW! OOOOO! THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN! KIDNAPPING A SUPERHERO!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KIDNAPPED BEFORE? I HAVEN'T. I DON'T WANT TO BE THOUGH. THAT WOULDN'T BE FUN." Confused, Batman began
a death stare with the spotlight. He heard muffled yells from the megaphone. Batman could just make out a man and the
high-pitched voice shouting to each other. A man came on the megaphone this time,
"HELLO BATMAN. I AM AMON. YOU SUCK AND I AM AWESOME. THEREFORE, I WILL CAPTURE YOU AND EAT YOU FOR DINNER." Batman kept
his cool while Maya and L screamed in panic and raced around the room. All Batman did was stare at the spotlight.
Soon enough, as troops began popping out of the blimp, the spotlight got scared and shut itself off with hasty.
Batman smiled and made his ESCAPE.

S: Batman dived away from the window as a giant grappling hook came rocketing through the window and attached to the floor.
"ST00PID AMON JEEZE YHY J00 HAVE TA' PUNTURE MAH CARPET!" Maya screamed, beginning to sever the rope with a SERRATED COMBAT
KNIFE. L quickly ran to the cookie jar, and retived a few COOKIES. He positioned himself combat ready, holding the NINJA STARS ready
for anyone. Batman took out his BATARANG and held it steady. Suddenly, Amon's troops flooded through on the rope. Maya stopped attempting
to cut the rope with the STEAMED TROUT. The troops pointed at Batman and ran toward him. L threw the NINJA STARS quickly and accurately, but
the COOKIES could not penetrate the thick armor the troops wore! Batman quickly threw his BATARANG, hitting a few of the troops. They all fell
in a little pile. Batman picked up his COAT HANGAR and placed it on his UTILITY BELT. Maya quickly tossed each of the troops out the window.
"Well, that was easy." Said L. The gang looked over in the corner, where a single knocked out soldier slumped over. Batman walked over
and removed his helmet. A large spiky tuft of orange hair popped out, as a familiar face emerged.
"O-Oh, Hi there!" Said Larry Butz, a friend of Maya.
"OMGWTFBBQ WAT U DOUN ERN MILIRARY KIDNAPOTN BERTMAN?" Maya spat in discussed.
L turned to Maya, his hand over his face.
"You need to take an English class or something."
Batman, ignoring the two, picked Larry up by the collar and stared.
"Who is Amon!? Why are you trying to kidnap me?!"

C: Larry shook his head and simply said,
"Nope," Batman gritted his teeth and growled at the whipy man,
"TELL ME OR I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK." Larry whimpered as Batman grabbed his neck.
"FINE! Amon want's you to eat! He always eats his enemies! Now let me goooooooo!" Batman flung
Larry on the ground and he scampered to the window. He jumped right out the window and screamed as he
fell down the seventeen stories,
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaah..." THUMP. Maya sighed and L facepalmed. Batman looked out the
window to see a pile of UNCONSIOUS soldiers. All where Larry. Batman turned to Maya and L.
"Guise, I think we have some DERP PLOT FILLING TO DO!" So the three ran out he window and landed
on the pile of troopers, cushioning their fall. they ran as fast as they could down the San Fransisco
streets, leaving a dust cloud in their wake. THEY WERE OFF TO STUDY THE AMON AND STRANGE VOICE THAT
WAS VERY GIRLY AND SOUNDED LIKE PINKIE PIE FROM MLP!

S: Whilst they ran at god-like speeds, Batman suddenly came to a realization.
"What on earth are we thinking?" He said, clicking a button on his UTILITY BELT. With a small chirp, a light turned on
from his BIRD NEST, indicating that the message had been sent. A few quickly seconds later, the BATMOBLE came rocketing from
a street corner, slowing down in front of the three roommates.
"LOL WERED YEW GEET THEES TOTALLLY TRICKED OWT RIDE BRO?" Said Maya, touching the hood with her foot.
Batman stared at her, slowly becoming used to her strange dialect. "It's a prototype from my company."
L quietly sat in the passenger seat of the WEINERMOBLE, folding his legs toward his body, while Maya
jumped excitedly into the back seat. Batman walked over to the other side, and pulled the passenger out of the
BATMOBILE. The Klingon angrily begun to fight back, punching Batman in the face.
"I don't have time for this" Batman thought, slapping the Klingon across the face. "GO EAT A TOP-KNOT"
"LOL I HHAVE ONE OF THOSE GUISE" Said Maya from the back seat.
"My name is Worf, and I am a Klingon!" Said Worf loudly.
"I'm Batman, so shut up." Batman said, kicking Worf in the body.
While he was down, Batman jumped in the drivers seat and floored it. The WEINERMOBILE took off down the street.

N: The trio stopped in front of a large, fifteen thousand story building. The car came to a screeching halt
and L jumped out of the BATMOBILE, terrified.
"I liked running better... Freaking death trap..." L mumbled as they all walked up to the tall skyscraper
that had a huge fifteen thousand by two foot screen that flashed the words, "FANDOM BASE. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT ANY
FANDOM CAN BE FOUND RIGHT INSIDE DIS HERE BUILDING" Batman shrugged and led Maya and L inside. Inside was a huge library.
Looking up, you could see BOOKS upon TREES upon BOOKS. Batman walked up to a RECEPTION DESK. He politely walked up to the
INCEPTIONIST and asked,
"Excused me, could you direct me to the section on AMON?" the RECEPTIONIST laughed and said in a rude manner,
"ARE YOU SERIOUS GURL? THE WHOLE SECTION ON AVATEER IS RIGH DER!" L raced over to the large and complex area
that had a sign above that read, "AVATEER" and quickly snatched several books. Batman looked at him, shook his head and turned
to Maya,
"C'mon, Maya-"
"OH MAH GAWD GURL FO REALZ? OMG THAT IS SO NOT TURE!"
"ET IS GURLFRIEND!" Maya and the INCEPTIONIST were much to busy chatting it up, so Batman slowly backed away from
the INCEPTION DESK to let the two freaks gossip all they want.

S: Batman quickly ran after L, dodging through shelves labeled "SGT FROG" and "GIRLS BRAVO". Finally, he came up to
L, who was stopped, staring at the "FRUIT'S BASKET" fandom shelf.
"This is not Avateer, why are we here?" Asked Batman, becoming impatient. L continued to stare at the manga
covers, the without looking at Batman, he said "Because there are pictures of cake on all of their covers."
Batman facepalmed, and continued to sprint past L.