"... You see I am everywhere! I… see all Balor. I am inside you, I create fear in you man… and one day you will bow before me as I am your God. I see all, I hear all… and you don't stand a chance" Bray proclaimed over the microphone as I watched in the back. I could see everyone around me just as drawn to him as I was. Everyone feared what he was; they called him a heretic or a lunatic but I didn't see it.
Bray and I had a strange relationship. Most people called it friends with benefits, I called it insanity. He would say he loved me one day and the next he was saying I should fear him, which I didn't. He never gave me a reason to fear him other than his flip-flopping emotions. I knew I loved him, I couldn't help but love him. When he decided he wanted me, life felt complete, it felt right. Whenever Bray was home, I would go to his home and spend every moment with him. Things felt right even when they should've felt wrong. That's how things had been for the past year since that rainy night we met in the dive bar. Tonight, Raw was in town so he brought me with him backstage under the pretense that I was his 'Friend'. Everyone looked at me strangely since I had arrived with him that night and I could hear the whispers about Bray never having friends. I heard his music hit and I watched as he walked up the ramp towards the back. I looked around seeing the people who had surrounded the monitor scattering back towards their duties leaving me alone watching his every move.
"Y/N" I heard a voice call as I turned around and saw Bray standing there motioning me towards him.
"Your… Your promo was amazing, I loved..." I said as Bray shook his head and grabbed my hand.
"Get your things, we are going home" he whispered softly my ear as I just nodded. I followed him into the back where we had put our things without a word between us. I knew what he wanted and I would be lying if I said I didn't want it too. It wasn't until we got in the car that Bray finally spoke up.
"Did you like coming to the show with me?" he asked quietly as I nodded and looked over at him.
"I had a good time" I said as I felt Bray's hand reach over and take mine in his.
"Good, we have things to discuss when we get home" he said rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I didn't know what Bray wanted to talk about. I had hoped he would say he had feelings for me but part of me had a sick feeling in my stomach. We pulled into the driveway of his house and I looked up at the house as I got out. We stayed silent as he walked through the garage and Bray sat his bag down.
"What did you…" I started to say as he smirked over at me. I felt like his eyes weren't going to leave me as he got closer.
"Tell me little lamb, are you afraid?" he asked almost like he was peering into my soul.
"No, I'm not afraid of you" I said quickly not even thinking of my response.
"Why? Everyone in this world fears me, they bow to my feet and cower in fear… but you… you challenge me, confuse me" he said as I bit my lip and looked down at my feet.
"Because… Bray… you know why I don't fear you" I said quietly as he smirked and walked closer to me.
"Tell me… I want to hear you say it" he said almost enjoying seeing me squirm.
"No" I whispered as I could feel tears starting to fill my eyes. I really had no reason to cry but I felt like if I said the words something bad would happen, that maybe Bray would laugh in my face.
"You can't even say it to me? You can't be honest with me? That just shows how much you fear me" Bray said shaking his head as I turned my back to him and wiped my eyes.
"You being like this just shows how much you don't want me" I whispered as Bray walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist. I pushed him back and shook my head.
"I can't do this anymore, I can't play this game" I said walking over to grab my stuff before I felt Bray grab my hand. I finally looked up and saw a change in his face. He wasn't the man who thought he was a god anymore, he looked actually vulnerable.
"What game?" he asked as I ran my free hand through my hair and sighed.
"This game where we fuck every night and then you leave in the morning. Where you tell me you love me one day and then tell me how I'm your favorite fuck & I'm just your "friend". What is this Bray? What does this all mean?" I said finally saying what I needed to say. I felt him drop my hand and look away from me.
"This is why I told you to fear me in the beginning" he mumbled as I shook my head.
"I guess that's my answer then" I said moving back over to grab my things from by the door.
"Wait" he called out as I opened the door and shook my head. I still loved him with all my heart but I couldn't take this game anymore.
"We're done Bray, I can't torture myself because you want to play this game with me" I said as I saw him try to say something but I walked out before he could even say anything.
3 weeks passed quicker than I thought and Bray was relentless. He sent me flowers every day, he left long rambling messages on my phone, he texted me good morning and good night just like before, and he even tried to contact me over FaceTime but I ignored it all. I was still heartbroken and I knew that if I called him back I wouldn't be able to say no to him. I missed everything about Bray; the sound of his voice, the way he would keep his arms around my waist all the time, the closeness that he always craved. I was sitting in my living room a rainy Saturday afternoon when I heard the doorbell ring. I sigh knowing it was probably another edible arrangement, flower bouquet, or some other gift saying he was sorry. I walked towards the door and stopped when I saw Bray standing at my front door. This was the first time he had actually shown up at my house and I knew that he had seen me through the glass of the iron door.
"Y/N, please open the door" Bray said as I sighed and opened the door knowing I couldn't get away from him now. I leaned against the iron door frame and sighed.
"It's nice to finally see you" he said as I shook my head and sighed.
"What… do you want Bray?" I asked trying not to sound rude but knowing that's the only way it could sound.
"You obviously know why I'm here, can I come in or will we discuss this right here on the front porch?" Bray asked as I stepped aside and let him in. I closed the door behind him and watched him walk into my living room as he did every time he came over. I sat down on the couch across from him and tried to maintain the walls I had put up but seeing his eyes soften made me look away.
"You know little lamb when you want to ignore someone, you do it quite well…" he started to say as I shook my head.
"Don't call me little lamb, I'm not your little lamb anymore" I said gritting my teeth as I tried to look away from him.
"You will always be my little lamb, my…" he started to say as I tried not to roll my eyes.
"Your fuck buddy? Your friend who you fuck? The woman who sits around loving and supporting you even though you give some bullshit line that I should fear you? The only person who supports you, who believes you when everyone else is either terrified of you or thinks you are absolutely full of shit" I started to say as Bray shook his head.
"My only friend, my only support" he said as I let out a frustrated growl.
"Today you say that, Today you think I'm the greatest thing in the world but tomorrow everything changes. You say you love me, we… we have sex and then you disappear into the night. The truth is I don't fear you at all, you fear what we have Bray. You fear that someone could actually support you, someone could actually love you more than that stupid…. Abigail who never loved you. You are scared of us actually being happy. Either that or you actually don't care and all I am to you is a warm body for you to cum in" I said standing up as Bray grabbed my arm to stop me.
"You are wrong… you are wrong about both. You deserve better than me. Look at you; you are fucking beautiful, you are perfect in every God damn way, your laugh is music to my ears, and having your hand in mine, feels so perfect. Like the universe wants this. Little lamb, I… can't give you what you want in life. I can't be that perfect boyfriend, that perfect husband but I can't quit you. I can't make myself not love you and it confuses the hell out of me" he said as I pulled my arm away and walked towards the back of the couch to get space.
"I don't want the perfect boyfriend or the perfect husband. I wanted you Bray, do you not understand how much I… I love you. I fell in love with you Bray because of how you are in the good times. You treated me better than any other guy I've ever… dated. You made me feel like a princess, that maybe… just maybe there was someone out there who didn't think I was complicated or that I wasn't good enough. I loved you through the bad even though I hated you sometimes. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough then… that I'm just a piece of ass when you are home" I said feeling the anger building up.
"I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you like I did. Don't ever say you aren't good enough and no… you weren't just a piece of ass. You… confuse me, challenge me, but never did I just see you as a plaything that I could just fuck. I would've never brought you backstage with me that night if you were just that, I would've never stayed until you fell asleep, I would've never stayed as long as I did if I didn't have feelings for you. I wasn't ready for this when we met and the thing is… it took me almost losing you to realize that I need you" he said as I looked down at the back of the couch trying to collect my thoughts. I finally looked up and our eyes met, I could feel the magnetism between us, the sheer pull of just needing him. I walked over and stood in front of him.
"Angel, come to me" Bray whispered as I straddled his lap and looked into his eyes.
"Tell me you aren't afraid" I whispered as Bray leaned in kissing my lips deeply with his hands in my hair. I wanted to pull away but I melted into his kiss knowing if this was our last time together, I was going to take in every moment and enjoy it for what it was. I felt his hands pull my shirt off and he smirked seeing that I wasn't wearing a bra. I felt his rough hands cupping my breast and his lips go to my neck.
"Not anymore Angel" he moaned against my neck as I grinned. I didn't know if I could believe him but it felt too good otherwise. I felt him pull my legs around him and carry me into my bedroom down the hall from the living room.
Once my back hit the bed, I felt Bray's lips moving from my neck down my collarbone. I could feel my panties starting to get wet as his lips moved lower. I whined as I felt his beard brush against my skin.
"Bray I need you" I pleaded as I felt his hands on the waistband of my sweatpants.
"I know Angel, I know" he whispered as he pulled my sweatpants down bringing my black boyshorts down with them.
"Have you been a good girl for me?" he whispered against my thigh as I nodded
"I haven't even touched myself" I moaned lowly as Bray smiled and opened my legs wider.
"Have you….slept with…?" I started to say as Bray pulled himself up and kissed my lips deeply.
"God no, I could barely touch myself without thinking about how bad I needed you" he whispered as I lifted his shirt off tossing it in the corner and my hands then moved to his jeans.
"I could never touch anyone else like this" he whispered as my lips crashed down on his again as I start to work on getting his pants and boxers off. He pulled back pulling his pants the rest of the way off. I watched him from the bed as he rubbed his hardness a couple times before climbing on the bed. Our eyes met and I felt him push into me, both of us letting out a loud groan.
"God I missed you" he whispered as he started to move his hips deeply and slowly.
"I missed you so much" I whispered back as my lips gently met his and my body moved slowly with his.
It was the first time that we were actually making love and not having rough sex. I could feel things between us slowly becoming different. Even though he was moving slowly, I could feel him hitting every spot that he knew drove me wild. It was like our bodies were made for each other.
"God Little Lamb you drive me wild" he moaned out as he pulled my legs around him as he started to thrust harder into me.
"Fuck" I whined out as he locked eyes with me and grunted out. I felt my stomach start to tighten and the familiar heat in the pit of my stomach. I could tell Bray wasn't going to be too far behind as his body started to quiver. His hips started to smack against mine each time hitting my cervix or g spot as our eyes stayed locked on each others.
"Oh god Bray" I cried out as I felt myself push over the edge and thrash under him. I felt him tighten up inside me and felt his cum starting to shoot deep inside me. We laid panting as we both came down before Bray moved off of me and pulled me into his arms. I laid with my head over his heart knowing I wanted to believe him when he said he was ready to be with me but a little bit of me knew that he could always leave again. I let out a sigh as I heard the rain falling outside still. I felt at home in his arms and dreaded waking up alone as usual.
"What's on your mind beautiful?" Bray asked quietly keeping me in his arms.
"Did you mean everything you said?" I asked just as quiet as he was before.
"Of course and I will prove it to you. I will never leave you again" he said as he pulled me closer to his chest.