one day in a land not too forgotten; the 64 bit era. mario was going about collecting stars. mario new that where he was, was being forgotten and loved those who tried to remember. one day while he was collecting stars he noticed how time and space seemed to warp around him. he noticed how many stars he was getting in just thirty minutes.
speedrunners mario loved speedrunners they kept him new fresh and exciting while he was still dying. if mario could speak to them he would. one day mario was tired he felt he could barely move when he heard "wait why isnt mario moving?" this was the first time mario had ever heard someone from the other side. "please no more" mario said aloud. mario looked up in shock to see a face staring back totally bewildered by what mario just said.
The face was the most beautiful one mario had ever seen. mario had been gay since he first met toad. it was common knowledge at this point everyone saw where mario put toads falicly shaped head. the man in the sky got out of his sshock and asked "you can talk?" "yes" said mario. "wow" said the man showing great joy. "you've been my hero since i was a child i wish there was a way to go to you" dreamed the man. "well all you've got to do is touch your screen said mario"
the man happily obliged and came crashing down from the sky. when the man came to he was strapped to a chair mario sitting across from him. "state your name" mario said in a deep gravely voice. "s-simple" stuttered the man "simple flips" mario looked at him chuckeled and said "you'll do juuust nicely." mario punched simple straight in the face.
when simple came to again he was being wheeled through what appeared to be a dungeon. one he hadn't seen before. he looke to his left and saw a half devoured princess peach laying still next to a blood covered chain chomp. simple looked to his right and saw a
shit-covered toad moaning saying "no...more...please..kiiilll...mmeee." as simple looked up he saw a naked luigi attached to a strange machine labeled the mr. fister eight thousand. daisy right below being firced onto luigis bulging, veiny, massive chode. he later saw bowser bludgeoned to death by hammer brothers with dildos.
when they finally stopped mario took simple and strapped him to a wheel. the wheel had many options on it a tiny portion was to be set free. nothing else looked very appetizing. when mario spun the wheel it stopped as quickly as it had begun. "well." mario said "That's a real shame. you landed on freedom, but what does that mean to you?" mario asked. "anything" simple replied "make love to me than!" mario demanded.
simple assumed position when mario 69'd him by surprise. gagging simple choked down thrust after thrust load after load. marios itallian musk driving simple crazy. practically draining each others balls dry they were finished. simple returned home and promptly commited suicide.
"so jim what do we have here?"
"an odd case sir you see the person killed themselves, cutting their own throat"
"mmhmm keep going"
"but there was a highly detailed drawing of a skull with a mushroom on its head scrawled in the persons blood. no other wounds were identified though."
"so what happened?"
"well there was a note that read "it wasn't worth that""
"bah! just say he was crazy. less paperwork for the both of us."
"yes sir."
FIN