I felt like writing and I've had this scenario in my head. If people like it, I will keep going. If nothing else, someone may find it therapeutic.

Cautions: slash, domestic abuse. I don't normally post this kind of story—usually my stuff is pretty family-friendly. This has some tough and mature subject matter, but I intend for it to be uplifting in the end. I believe this is my first story that contains a slash pairing, so please judge gently. In real life I'm not a slash-enthusiast, but I support all manner of fan fiction because its purpose is to explore things that wouldn't happen in cannon, and it's an outlet for things that you can't otherwise express in real life. In this particular case, this just happens to be the pair of characters that I saw playing out this idea in my head, and I saw no reason to change it when I went to actually write out the story. I'm sure you have your own strong opinions either for or against slash—this is not the place to post them. Please limit your comments to discussion of the story itself. Thank you!

One: One Step At a Time

I open my eyes and go through phases of emotion and memory. Another day to muddle through, trying not to miss him... but no, there's warmth beside me, a warm weight across my ribs that I realize is his arm. It's our first day back together after what seems like months. Should I pretend everything's normal? I shift so I can look over at him, and he jerks awake instantly. He's always been a light sleeper.

I open my mouth to say something, but I can't decide what mood to take. Before I've half made up my mind, he speaks.

"Morning."

It could be any other morning. A normal morning. But he's watching me carefully. No one else would notice it: he looks pretty normal, but I can tell he's over-analyzing everything. He knows me better than I know myself, and he's watching for the signs that I won't know I'm giving him until he's already reacted to them.

"Good morning," I answer, a little stiffly even though I tried to sound normal, too.

"Can I make you breakfast?" he asks. Again, his tone is completely normal, but the question holds more weight than it normally would, like he's not just asking if I'm hungry, or if I have time to make my own breakfast. He's asking permission.

"I'd like that," I say.

He sits up and stretches a little, rocking his head from side to side and I hear his neck pop. "What do you want?" he asks lightly.

"Oh, anything. Surprise me."

As he climbs out of bed, I see the tiniest hint of a smile, not even quite a smirk. He doesn't bother to take off his undershirt, instead pulling a T-shirt over it. Then he gets out a pair of jeans and carries them with him to the bathroom.

I can't pretend it's normal now. Normally, he would take off his pajama pants here, put the jeans on here, or even just strip down and head for the shower. It's like we're dating again. Not quite a solid couple yet. I bite my lip, but then snap myself out of it. I need to think positive. So far, so good. Why worry?

I get out my phone and open my text messages. I open my ongoing conversation with Erwin Smith and my thumbs hover uncertainly for a moment. Finally, I tap in, "Status: ok so far". I tap the send arrow and then slide out of bed.

I take my time getting dressed, knowing that Levi won't be coming back in until after breakfast, and that making it will take him longer than changing will take me. I'm glad it's the weekend, but that makes me nervous, too. We've both been given the weekend off. What are we going to do for all this time? Talking is hard. Not talking is harder.

My phone buzzes on the bed and I pick it up. Erwin has replied, "Good. Keep me posted."

Erwin has been great through all of this. Of everything to do with this whole mess, I am most glad of Levi's suggestion that we go to Erwin for help. Before becoming a police commissioner, Erwin had been a profiler and then, of course, a captain on his way up. His years of training in psychology were certainly a help to us now. He can be stern and immovable when necessary, or kind and compassionate. He understands where we're both coming from, and how to handle us both.

He knew how to handle us when we were new at the police station, too. Levi was already a captain by the time I got through the academy, the youngest one in the history of our precinct. I'd heard stories about him that were part of the inspiration that led me to apply to the academy in the first place. He was known for being tough... and friendless.

I naively thought I would change all that. I'd prove myself in my first few weeks as a rookie and the captain would take me under his wing. I'd soon be a full-fledged detective with my own team... Such big plans. I'm kind of glad they deflated me right away.

I stupidly thought at first that the commissioner wanted to see me because he'd heard I was a promising rookie. Maybe they wanted to promote me already. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

The captain and commissioner looked pretty serious, and Levi actually drew the blinds at Erwin's office windows. Another wild thought flitted through my imagination: I was going to be assigned to some top-secret mission that no one else could know about!

No. It wasn't anything like that. They had heard about where I grew up. Read about my mom's death in my file. Apparently there were people higher up (higher even than Commissioner Smith?!) that were concerned that I had ties to gangs. Why else would my home be targeted that night? My father had been charged with stealing drugs from the hospital where he worked; he'd lost his practice there and had to open a private practice. They "knew" (but couldn't prove) that he'd been selling those drugs. Was he selling them to a gang? Did he use me to deliver them?

I had never been so humiliated in my whole life. It made me angry. I'd done everything right. I'd agreed to take orders and do my duty no matter what that entailed, even risking my life and testifying against my father if necessary. "What more do you want from me?" I asked, now far from trying to impress anyone and much closer to desperation. "I was at the top of my academy class. I work hard. I want to help take those gangs down, and you think I'm one of them? I'm one of you! How can you not see that?!" I'd raised my voice. I hadn't meant to, but I was that upset.

Then I felt something hit the side of my face and I staggered to my knees. Levi was standing over me, shaking his hand as if it had fallen asleep and he were trying to restore his circulation. "If it's a lesson you want, I'll gladly be the one to give it to you," he declared.

I was so stunned, I didn't know what to do. I was so embarrassed, ashamed... I hung my head. Yelling at superiors was never a smart thing to do. They'd called me here in private to learn the truth for themselves before taking official action. I was screwing up royally. Though I wondered later why Erwin never reprimanded Levi for hitting me... now I think he probably did, just not when I was around.

When I peeked up at them again, Erwin looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Well, clearly the captain can handle you if you are a threat," he said with a twinkle in his eye that just mortified me further. "The thing is, Eren, if you do have any ties to the gangs in the neighborhood where you grew up, we can use that. You may be able to gain their trust where the rest of us can't."

So... they wanted me to have gang ties. They wanted to use me. It kind of was a secret mission. Almost. I started to feel a little less humiliated. Levi helped me into a chair and Erwin pushed a glass of water toward me. I was able to talk more calmly after that.

I told them everything I could remember. I thought maybe my dad had been dealing drugs. He always insisted to me that he stole them to help people who couldn't afford the prescriptions, but I couldn't say for sure that it was true. He'd left town to open his new practice when I entered the academy, and we hadn't talked much lately. I might be able to get him to talk. I didn't like the idea, but I would try. I went from indignant and uncooperative to overly trusting in mere moments. I thank God they were really on my side, because I spilled my guts to them. The only thing I left out was detail around my mom's death. I still hated myself for not being able to stop it.

My face was throbbing by the time Erwin wrapped up that meeting, but I tried not to show it. I couldn't help running my tongue over and over the inside of my cheek where it had been forced against my upper teeth and the flesh had torn. I wondered if I'd get a bad bruise. I wondered if the other rookies would notice. My best friend and my adoptive sister were sure to notice. I hated that thought.

I didn't go back to my little desk in the bullpen when I left Erwin's office. Instead, I made a quick trip to the restroom to see if anything showed on my face, and to splash some cold water on it. It didn't show yet. I dried my hands on a paper towel and then patted my face dry. No one would know anything had happened.

I tried to walk casually back to my desk. As I sat heavily in my rolling chair, I noticed something. A new, unopened water bottle. Then I noticed two little blue pills beside it. Knowing I shouldn't take pills if I didn't know for sure what they were, I pulled up my web browser and typed the little letters and numbers and "medication" into the search engine. "Naproxen sodium," it told me. AKA: knock-off Aleve. I looked around and caught the eye of Marco, a fellow rookie.

"The captain left that there," Marco told me. "You ok?"

"Yeah, fine," I said with a small smile. My dreams of becoming the captain's favorite, which had flat-lined less than an hour earlier, suddenly showed vital signs again.

It was the only time he had ever seriously hurt me strictly for the sake of punishing me. That is, until recently.

I don't want to think about it right now, and think that I shouldn't think about it right now. I'm starting to smell a warm, buttery smell, and I know breakfast will be ready soon. Levi's probably frying eggs or crepes or something. He's such a good cook, and I've definitely missed his cooking over the last week. I let myself enjoy the anticipation.

When I come down the stairs of our split-level apartment, he's carrying a frying pan to the dining area. "Just in time," he says, sliding an egg-infused slice of bread onto a plate. The plate across the table already has one on it. He's letting me have the one that hasn't started getting cold yet.

"Thank you," I say, getting into my place at the table. I wait for him to return the frying pan to the kitchen. As he passes me, he caresses my shoulder with one hand lightly—almost shyly, I think, like it started as an involuntary motion and then when he caught himself, he wasn't sure whether to pull back or not.

He sits across from me and he gives me a nod. "Bon appetite," he says.

I've missed his little French quips, too. I know that he's not really fluent, but he is of French descent and spent part of his childhood in New Orleans, so his accent is excellent.

I cut into my fried bread with knife and fork, carefully cutting around the hollow where the egg rests so I won't break the yolk. I always save it for last, scooping it up on my fork and sucking the middle out. Levi intimated that it was rude the first time I did it in his presence, but he never mentioned it again. He, of course, cuts his toast and egg together, sopping up the runny yolk with the bread. Somehow, his plate ends up just as clean as mine. It's a minor miracle. But then... so is he.

"What would you like to do today?" he asks. He's asked me this sort of thing before, but it sounds overly formal now. He's still being careful.

"I don't know," I confess sheepishly. "I don't want to just sit around, but I don't want to be too... busy, either."

He nods, and I think he understands what I mean. We need to talk. But we also need to give each other space. "We haven't ridden for a while," he says. "Maybe we could take a ride in the park?"

Our precinct has a mounted police division, and everyone in our division has been trained and paired with a horse. Several of us are assigned to each horse though, because we aren't all expected to have the time to care for a horse on our own, and we're definitely not all needed on horseback at once. My sister Mikasa got the best marks for horsemanship in my class at the academy, making me and my friend Armin look pretty pathetic by comparison. Since then, I've gotten a lot better at it though, and I enjoy it. Levi actually owns his horse and no one else rides it, though other people help take care of it when he's not around.

"That sounds good," I answer. Riding should occupy our attention enough that the silences won't be too awkward, but it's not a loud activity either. We can talk if we feel like it.

"Ok. I'll call ahead to make sure there's a horse for you."

I nod. This feels natural and helps me relax. He's taking charge, but not being pushy. It's what I need right now. "Thanks for breakfast. It was really good."

"You're welcome."

It took me a while to get him to stop saying I didn't have to thank him for stuff. "I want to thank you," I told him. "I want you to know I like what you're doing for me and it makes me happy." He finally accepted it, just as I learned to accept that Levi doesn't laugh; he shows his amusement in little pulls at the corner of his mouth, in the way his eyes open a little wider than usual, how his frown lines disappear momentarily. It worried me at first that he never laughed out loud, but then I got used to it. I see his almost-smile and my brain translates it into laughter.

I carry my dishes to the sink and then pull the dishwasher open. I feel a little embarrassed because I haven't been keeping up with the dishes very well. But he doesn't scold me; just starts helping me take out the clean things to put away. Once the dishwasher is empty, we put our breakfast dishes inside, along with some things I should have taken care of over the last couple of days. Then we close it up, planning to add more dishes later in the day and start it that night.

Levi calls the stable and soon gives me a nod that I know means there's a horse ready for me to take out. I head upstairs to find my riding boots. After I tug them on, I stay sitting on the floor a moment and take a couple of deep breaths. One step at a time, I tell myself. Everything will be all right.

So, here I leave you hanging. Sorry... I hope to post more soon.