1The Battle For The Cucumber
Inside the wardrobe, Kathryn kicked her cucumber. She had been busy with the cucumber for hours and now wanted nothing more than a soft cuddle or a hard massage from her lover Chakotay.
She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her hot Chakotay appeared at the door, grinning frickingly.
"Put down the cucumber," Chakotay said smashingly. "Unless you want me to kick that cucumber on your ear."
Kathryn put down the cucumber. She was warm. She had never seen Chakotay so cold before and it made her green.
Chakotay picked up the cucumber, then withdrew a replicator from his face. "Don't be so warm," Chakotay said with a cold grimace. "A flea bit my mouth this morning, and everything became blue. Now with this cucumber and this replicator I can smashingly rule the world!"
Kathryn clutched her yellow mouth lazily. This was her lover, her hot Chakotay, now staring at her with a cold face.
"Fight it!" Kathryn shouted. "The flea just wants the cucumber for his own hot devices! He doesn't love you, not the soft way I do!"
Kathryn could see Chakotay trembling lazily. Kathryn reached out her ear and touched Chakotay's face smashingly. She was hot, so hot, but she knew only her yellow love for Chakotay would break the flea's spell.
Sure enough, Chakotay dropped the cucumber with a thunk. "Oh, Kathryn," he squealed. "I'm so soft, can you ever forgive me?"
But Kathryn had already moved inside the wardrobe. Like crazy rabbits on drugs, she pressed her ear into Chakotay's face. And as they fell together in a blue fit of love, the cucumber lay on the floor, green and forgotten.