I just thought that I would let all of my fabulous readers out there know that this is my first story where I actually did some research and put a lot of time into.
I've been working on this puppy for nearly three months, collecting all my information about the hospital, the wards, schizophrenia, and all that cool stuff.
So please only say nice things.
If you have something bad to say about it, just keep it to yourself.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except Alexis and Danica. Everything else about the hospital, hospital wards, medications, diseases, and WWE Superstars are completely not mine. They own themselves :D

Please remember to give me feedback and pointers, it helps with creation a lot.
Thanks.

x . r a e . x

I'm The "Bad" Twin
Chapter One: How I Got Here

Sometimes I sit in this room with Lexi and wonder to myself if I really belong here. Did I really do something bad enough to come live in the loony bin? Sure, standing on my roof in the middle of a rain storm with a gun to my head is bad, but seriously. Okay, maybe I do belong here. As you can see by my words not making sense together and my unusual perceptions, I have schizophrenia.

Cherry Hospital has been my home for the past six years and it's kind of been a mixed blessing. I love it here because I can relate to almost everyone in my ward, the Psychiatric Rehabilitation Unit, PRU for short. We basically work on everyday things in the adult world. This is more of a long term program as the where the Adult Acute Unit is more short term. Evidently they consider Schizophrenia to be a serious illness.

I can still remember that night. It remains forever clear in my mind. So do the days leading up to then. Those are probably the only things clear in my mind at the moment. I've been taking my meds, but they haven't seemed to be working lately. Especially the Geodon. I hear voices when I fall asleep at night and it agitates me something fierce.

"Do it Danica. Just do it," they say.

"No, I can't. I can't do it," is always my reply.

Alexis looks at me from her bed and sighs,

"Meds not working?" she'll ask.

I always nod and end up drifting to sleep a time afterwards. Lexi has Schizophrenia too, so she knows what I'm dealing with. I love Lexi's company, it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world. Then of course, the meds wear off and I'm alone in a dark hole again.

Another person that makes me feel not so left out is Jeff; oh my Jeffers. He comes everyday during visitations and he comes to all of them, staying until they have to escort him out. It's so sweet that he cares so much about his friends. I've really never met anyone like that. Not like I ever will while I'm cooped up in this place.

Back to why I'm here, yes. It was a chilly and rainy May morning in Cameron, North Carolina. Shannon had been avoiding me for the past few months and I felt like he was mad at me. Like maybe he didn't want to be my sibling anymore. It wasn't yet apparent to me what was going through his head.

I got up out of my full size bed and stalked down the hall to his room. The door creaked open with the turn of a handle and I saw Shannon just sitting there. There was a picture in his hand, a picture of mom and dad with both of us. It was at our graduation only a year before.

"Shan?" I whispered.

Shannon turned around quickly, placing the picture on his nightstand and snapped,

"What?"

His tone startled me, Shannon was never aggressive with me, ever. Tears stained his cheeks, leaving little streaks of off colored skin. I squinted my eyes and tried to see him in the dark.

"Shannon, I just want to talk," was the only thing I could say.

"Talk about what? How you're ruining everyone's life?" he snorted.

The words that were coming from his mouth weren't making any sense to me. Shannon was my twin and we loved each other, why was he being so rude?

"Wh-what do you mean?" I managed to stutter out.

He stood from the bed and stepped closer to me,

"You're ruining everyone's life Dani! With that, that disease!"

Now I knew what he meant. He was blaming me for something that I couldn't control. Something that I had gotten from my father. If he was blaming anyone he should've been blaming him.

"Shannon, I can't help it that I have a mental illness!" my oice cracked, almost ready to cry.

A small laugh came from his mouth,

"That's right, you're mental. You're a fucking head case Danica!"

He moved about, waving his arms in the air while he talked. Shannon did that when he was getting very angry.

"You prance around talking about nonsense while you reach out in front of you like you're going to grab something. You talk to yourself, saying that there's voices that talk to you. It's not voices Danica! It's you being an attention hungry little bitch!"

My heart broke right there. How could my twin brother say such harsh words to me? This was all too much and the voices were starting to talk.

"Hit him Danica. Hurt him Danica. Mutilate his body Danica," they hissed.

I tried my best to ignore them, but I couldn't. My body dropped to the floor on my knees and I held my head.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop talking to me!"

Shannon shook his head and rolled his eyes,

"Real cute Danica. Put on another little voices act."

I started smacking my fist into my forehead sobbing at them wanting me to hurt my brother,

"Stop!"

Shannon lifted me up off the floor and pushed me out the door,

"Get your pathetic ass out of here."

My body lay lifeless on the floor in the hall. I thought maybe if I just lie there the voices would stop. They didn't, they only got louder. I knew that my parents kept a gun in a lock box under a floor board in the den, so that's where I ran to next.

The floor board gave me trouble when I tried to pop it out, but eventually let me win. My fingers ran over the top of the lock box, while my other fingers opened it with a bobby pin.

The gun sat inside the smooth, velvet slot, screaming out,

"Use me! Use me Danica! Put me to your head and fire away!"

I listened and grabbed it, running back upstairs to my room. Outside rain pounded down on my window hard. Harder than I had ever witnessed. My parents were sleeping now, making it easy for me to crawl out the window and fire away.

The silver life taker was sat down on my dresser while I pulled at the window. After a couple of tugs, it opened, letting rain splash against my soft skin. My hand met the gun again and followed me out the window.

I stood still, letting the refreshing wind whip my hair around a bit. The rain drenched my clothes and hair, but I didn't care. Life was about to end for me, nothing mattered.

Before I put the revolver to my head, I checked to see how many bullets there were. Only one lonely bullet lay there. I moved the barrel so I could click two times before shooting myself.

The gun was placed to the right side of my head, in my right hand. I took in a deep breath and let it out.

One.

I took another deep breath and let it out.

Two.

This was it. Life for Danica Moore was over. My finger was on the trigger, ready to pull, when the gun was knocked from my hand and my brother pulled me close to him.

"What the fuck are you doing you crazy bitch?" he screamed in my face.

I pulled away from him, whimpering in fear,

"Making your life easier!"

And that was the day that I tried to commit suicide, landing myself here in hell. I've gotten better though. A lot better. The doctors say it won't be long before I can go home. The only thing is... I don't want to go home to Shannon.