He was holding a storm in his hand. It was tiny for the moment, and a bit scattered so it wasn't a storm yet, but he would make one tonight. He could see it in his mind: a calm centre, around which the winds slowly, but surely coming together as one force.

For a short, vivid moment Naruto had the storm in his hand, and then it tore through its rubber cage. The force threw him off his feet. He landed on something soft but steady that emitted a sweet, feminine voice.

Naruto scrambled to stand on his own. A girl, fair-haired if a bit plain, but with the brightest smile he'd seen in a while. "That's fascinating! Are you a shinobi?"

Beaming in return, Naruto tapped his forehead protector. "Yup! Uzumaki Naruto at your service!"

White teeth flashed before she covered it with the back of her hand. He wondered why; they were the only people in kilometres. And maybe he should have been more suspicious, too. He had been practicing at the outskirts of civilisation. But she smiled again and said, "Oh, sorry! You can call me Okuni. I was picking herbs in the forest just a bit over there, and saw you on the way back. It's just I've never seen a shinobi before, much less one not much older than me."

His palm was burning and he was exhausted, but Naruto grinned and said, "'Cuz I'm hella good! I'm gonna be the next Hokage. That's, uh, the leader of Konoha. That's my village, the one I'm from."

"And what brings such a mighty shinobi to our little town?" Okuni had a very, very pretty smile when she didn't cover it up. And why not ask her about Jiraiya's lady? Imagine his face when Naruto returned with not only the second phase of the Rasengan, but also their mission completed.

"Y'see, we're looking for someone…" Naruto folded his arms, trying to remember the picture Jiraiya had been waving in everyone's face. "Uh, she's blonde and really pretty, like, she has –" hands flailed before his chest, and something flashed in her eyes. "Oh, you've seen her!"

"Maybe… who is she?"

"She's supposed to be the best medic-nin in the world, and I've got a friend who kinda needs her, see." He paused, snagged on the question if Kakashi would appreciate being called a friend. Probably not. Well, Naruto thought fiercely, he'd just have to cope. Sasuke, Kabuto-niichan—no way Naruto was letting Kakashi slip by too.

Okuni shook her head. "Sorry, I don't think I've seen her. But why don't you try the town. See that castle over there? It's the sixteenth night, and sometimes the town throws a… not quite a party, but the sixteenth night's as good an excuse to drink all night as any."

The castle was hard to miss. It was the only thing interesting to the town to begin with, and now with the sun down and the moon not yet up it was like a tall glowstick.

"What's so special about the sixteenth night, anyway," Naruto said.

"My sister can probably explain that better than I do. I'd invite you to our house, but my mother could be… unpredictable," she said, then winced, muttering, "I shouldn't have said that. And I should be getting back, they're waiting for me." She left with one last smile, leaving Naruto to stare at her increasingly smaller back. He stayed squinting at the distance until a giant shadow loomed over him.

"Who was that?" Jiraiya said.

"Just a girl – hey, Ero-Sennin, where have you been? Look!" He held up the remains of Jiraiya's balloon, not that Naruto could see it himself. "Now you're gonna have to teach me the rest of it!"

Jiraiya waved him away. "Later. The princess awaits."

The princess was waiting in the castle. Jiraiya didn't tell Naruto this until they had passed the wide open gates. Naruto hadn't known what was missing from his shinobi life: when the princess called, the hero rushed to her aid. Silent as a shadow on the walls, he galloped up the ancient heap of stones. Dash and leap, flawless entry through the open window, the hero arrived!

Then Naruto leapt again and tripped on his collar. Jiraiya had a tight grip, but he didn't stop Naruto from yelling, "Sasuke!"

Sasuke, seated beside Orochimaru, went very, very still. The woman on Orochimaru's other side said, "Is that jilted tomcat your latest pet project, Jiraiya?"

Naruto glared at her, and on any other day his eye would've stayed there. But it was Sasuke, right there: the same stupid 'do, the iconic shirt, the angle of the chin when he was bored but wanted to look cool. Sasuke had gone missing in the aftermath of the invasion, and declared dead. Only Naruto had believed in him. His only teammate, the only one who had gone with him against Gaara couldn't have died, not when Naruto had won.

His Konoha headband was missing, though. As Naruto was about to ask, Jiraiya's grip on his neck tightened, and he was marched down an empty side of the table. It was a big table laden with food, but mostly with jars of alcohol.

Orochimaru was saying, "This is Naruto-kun, and as you can see from his resemblance – "

"With eyes closed and through mud, but yes, I'll grant you." The content of her cup sloshed and spilled as she turned to Sasuke. "Hey, Uchiha, it's rude not to greet a friend, you know."

The statue of Sasuke ignored her, too. Jiraiya's hand slid down to Naruto's shoulder even as he said, "Orochimaru, you smooth bastard, yours is the last face I'd've expected to see. Ask him how he lost his arms, Tsunade."

Tsunade grinned. It was a pretty sight, and not at all pleasant to look at. "And you're going to avenge Saru-sensei, of course, just like the heroes in your stories."

Jiraiya's hand was curled uncomfortably close to Naruto's ear. Then the pressure left him, and Jiraiya was pouring himself a cup of sake. Free at last, Naruto waved his arms in front of Sasuke's face. "Sasuke! Oi! At least tell me it's you and not some freaky clone Orochimaru's made! Or Kabuto-niichan! If you're here, he can't have been dead too! Where's he?"

Meanwhile, Tsunade was saying, "… Dan and Nawaki for a pair of arms. A pretty good deal, I'd think. Although Orochimaru hasn't told me what they were for."

Orochimaru didn't answer immediately, and when Naruto turned his head it became apparent why. Red, slimy tongue had wrapped around a cup, and then leveraged itself along its length on the table to dump the content into his waiting mouth. And then he answered. "Why, I'd finish Konoha. You know me, I don't leave jobs half-done."

"Tempting, tempting," Tsunade muttered.

The dark-haired woman protested, "Tsunade-sama!", while Jiraiya beat the table. As the dinnerware rattled he laughed, and said, "I've got a better deal. Come and be our Hokage, Tsunade-hime. All of Konoha in your hand, subject only to your petty whims. The village your venerable grandfather and granduncle and grandmother had protected with their lives, all yours to destroy." He filled her cup and lifted his, as though calling for a toast. He was, Naruto realised with horror, completely serious.

"What the hell! Why her?"

Jiraiya looked at him with something like pity. "Kid, Tsunade-hime won us the Second War – "

"I don't care! She wants to destroy Konoha! I don't want her as the Hokage!"

"The elders and jōnin do not care for the opinions of a genin, and frankly, neither do I," said Jiraiya. Naruto opened and closed his mouth. He felt betrayed. Jiraiya continued, "Now be quiet and let the adults handle this."

Tsunade's eyes were burning holes on the top of his head. Naruto glared back. She was drunk, even he could see that. "Yes, do as Jiraiya said, not as he did." Her fingernails clattered on the ceramic cup erratically. "How did it go… 'Children are the future of the village'. Sounds familiar?"

Jiraiya eyed her warily, but it was Orochimaru who answered. "And in the wise words of a certain someone, Sensei is a sentimental fool. Are we playing a game, Tsunade?"

"Eh, why not. You can't have expected me to make a decision on this very night." Cup in hand, she waved at Sasuke, who Naruto could have sworn was shrinking ever so slightly, and then Naruto. "So, children. Orochimaru and his genius pretty boy, and Jiraiya and his obnoxious brat. I have one myself; or I had one. She's currently off sulking somewhere in this town."

"Poor girl," Jiraiya said.

Tsunade flashed him a wolfish grin. "I won her – a desperate father, unlimited sake, you know how it goes. It would've been the worst winning ever if she didn't turn out to be an adequate apprentice. But I haven't made a return on my investment. You two boys are going to find her. Find her, woo her, do whatever it takes to get her on your side; you're shinobi."

Finally, finally Sasuke stirred. He said, "And what if she's gone?"

"She won't. She's at that age where making a point is more important than achieving results. Rather like you. She won't leave the town as long as I have not. Her name is Sakura, and you would never meet a more appropriately named girl."

"Literal and sophomoric in your poetry, as only you could be, Tsunade," said Orochimaru. "Well, Sasuke-kun? You have been challenged." Sasuke had gone back to being a spiky-haired guardian dog statue. Naruto saw Jiraiya's nod and his subsequent elbow in his rib, felt the heat of the sake he didn't drink rising to the top of his head.

Naruto slammed his palms on the table. "Well, screw you. Konoha doesn't need a Hokage who treats us like a game. I'm gonna find a better healer – hell, I'm gonna be the next Hokage before you. So screw you, lady!"

Jiraiya made the noise of a dying animal into his hand, while Tsunade just looked amused. Neither stopped him from rising to his feet and turning his back on them.

He felt rather than heard Sasuke's scoff. Naruto turned just in time to see his shadow leaping off the balcony. He was there before he realised what he was doing. He saw the shadow land on a roof and melt into darkness.

Naruto shifted, pitching headlong into the moon, into the cold night.

Thanks to roadkill2580 and hellequin for beta-reading. I can also be found at jaycrowind at tumblr for all your anonymous question needs.