Title: Knowing
Author: kerumica
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Goku, Sanzo/Gojyo, Hakkai
Warning/Rating: pg
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Leave me be.
A/N: I started writing this for a different fandom, changed my mind and came up with this. Special thanks to nimblnymph for the beta. Any mistakes are still on me since I fiddled with it, again, after the fact.
If I had spoken up sooner, maybe things would have been different. Maybe if I hadn't always been roughhousing with Gojyo or eating my weight, and everyone else's for that matter, in food, I might have noticed sooner that something had shifted in the way they interacted. When I thought back on all the years the four of us were together, even before the journey, I should have at least suspected something.
There were signs. The teasing, that seemed to get more and more intimate as we got closer to India. The physical closeness, when before it would have been shunned, was now practically a requirement. In all the years I had been with Sanzo, my sun, my savior, I should have noticed the changes a whole hell of a lot sooner. I noticed nothing until we were half way back home.
If I was just now noticing, I'm sure Hakkai noticed a hell of a lot sooner. That's just how he is, but hey, what can you expect? I guess I was so caught up in realizing that I had fallen in love that I forgot to notice Hakkai's pain as well. It was the stupid kid in me. By the time I had really noticed, I think Hakkai had moved on, gotten over it. That was fine. Sanzo and Gojyo didn't need two lovesick puppies making things difficult.
By the time we made it back to Chang'An, I had already made my decision. We had been crashing at the temple when Sanzo came in saying that he had "retired" and bought a house for us to live in, outside of town. We all stayed there for a week. Hakkai was the first to go.
He finally got his wish to become a teacher. The school had a small house that they offered to him as part of his salary and he decided to move there. He said it would be for the best since it was closer to the school and he wouldn't have that far to walk. He decided to leave Hakuryuu in Gojyo's care.
A few days later, while Gojyo was in town shopping and visiting Hakkai, I had a chance to talk to Sanzo. It was weird, talking to him about my hopes and dreams and not getting smacked with the fan. I told him I was leaving. I had really enjoyed traveling to India, but there were other places I wanted
to see. He gave me his blessing and made me promise to write and visit often. I left the next day.
The years passed swiftly. Hakkai found someone, the uncle of one of his students. The guy turned out to be the town's librarian. Perfect match if you ask me. Sanzo and Gojyo held a commitment ceremony for themselves. Hakkai and his partner soon followed. Hell, even I had actually settled down. Found myself a nice young woman who lived a few towns over from them. She owned a restaurant with her parents. Perfect match if you ask me.
All too soon our lives changed again. Gojyo died. Sanzo followed a month later. Guess not even death could keep those two apart. I visit Hakkai more often now. We sit and talk about the good old days, the journey and our grandkids.
I asked him once if he ever thought that he would end up with Gojyo. He said yeah. 'Funny thing,' I said, 'I thought I would end up with him too.'