DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter but I darned wish I did.
"So why exactly are we here?" Harry asked, and Ron turned round and hit him over the head.
"Because I say we are dimwit!" he yelled in Harry's ear, causing him to jump back in shock and belt Ron over the head with the arse end of his firebolt. "And because someone really scarily mad has been let free with a keyboard…" he added, looking fearfully out of the large florescent pink screen shaped thing that had suddenly materialised in front of them.
"And trust me, she's one screwy bitch!" the writer added happily, tapping away on her keyboard and forcing Harry to run over to the window, lean out and yell at the top of his voice "I love you Dobby! You rock my world!"
"Oy, that's not fair!" Harry hissed, turning towards the screen shaped thing and trying to aim his firebolt at it. the author grabbed it as it came flying and held it over her head, yelling happily.
"HA! Now I've got your broom and I'm holding it hostage!" the writer yelled, accidently swimming it around and chucking it over her head by mistake. "ups, that wasn't a good idea!" she grinned sheepishly before turning back to the story she was supposed to be writing ready to post and scare people next morning.
"What the!" harry said, looking confused as Kreature ran up and attached himself to Harry's nether-region, screaming delightedly.
"Hey! That's not on!" Ron screamed unhappily. "Kreature's mine! I saw him first. keep off you snotty little cow!" He yelled at Harry, smacking him around the head for the second time.
"What's that got to do with the price of cabbage?" a member of the writers French class asked, for some strange unknown reason appearing in the middle of the Gryffindor common room and trying to hump Dobby.
"It's got feck-all to do with the price of cabbage!" the author yelled, blowing the lad's head of with a machete she wrote into her hand so it would make her story a bit more interesting and make her carry on.
"So here we are." Hermione comentated, and was soon joined by Fred and George who had stopped in to kick shit out of Lee.
"We've got a major showdown in the common-room tonight. On one side we have the lunatic author who can write anything she wants into her hands and is making me make a really useless speech, and on the other side we have Harry being snogged by Kreature, Ron jealous because Kreature chose Harry and various random characters, Yoda and Frodo included, who don't actually know why they're here at the moment.
two seconds later the whole room blew up because Fred and George tried to blow up Neville but screwed up and everyone died except Yoda, who sat in the middle of the destroyed Gryffindor common room, and said in a squeaky little voice (cause he's just reached puberty and his voice was breaking)
"May the Force be with you."
"What's that got to do with the price of cabbage?" French class boy's corpse asked, and then the whole room went silent. The author sat back and started laughing before adding a disclaimer and running off screaming to pig out on chocolate.
Well I'm sorry okay. I stuck this together in a rush and its crap and I know it but reviews are appreciated. Love and peace as always, Stargazing Maiden.