Note to readers: First Doctor Who fic, so please read and review! (aka-it's my third fic ever, so I'm quite nervous!)
I love the song I use in the fic to death, and though I've heard several versions (Queen is the original) my favorite is Sarah Brightman's rendition.
Disclaimer: I own neither Doctor Who nor the song, but if anyone feels like giving them to me- I won't stop you!
Spoilers: For "The Parting of the Ways" very minor, but if you don't know about season two yet..then don't read this! So, also contains general spoilers of season two.
Here's the complete song, just for a general feeling and because it pained me to have to chop it up!
There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us?
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever?
There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,
When love must die
So touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can have forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?
Rose sighed as she laid back on her bed. The Doctor- who Rose now knew to be more of a collection of aspects and possibilities of one soul than just a onetime body with a single soul- was alive.
The Doctor would live on, shedding light on a previously unknown side of himself. Yet to Rose, the knowledge that the Doctor was alive filled her with pain.
Alive he may be- but her Doctor, that one brief flash of light- was gone. She had been with this Doctor for only a few days, but already the quirks of the original were fading away. The spontaneous, manic grin that had charmed her was gone, along with the eyes the color ocean currents.
He still held her hand- but to her it felt like he did it on autopilot, there was none of the near magnetic attraction she and her doctor had shared. She felt tears well up in her eyes again and she buried her head into her pillow, wishing she could fall asleep for the next hundred years and try to ease the pain in her heart.
There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
Rose's body, as though hearing her plea, began to slow it's sobbing and merge into the land between sleep and wake, where thoughts skim quickly over the troubled sea of the mind and sorrows are both vivid and dull, near and far…
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us?
As Rose fell asleep, images of the new Doctor tortured her. He was so different, yet some things were the same- it was confusing Rose as much in her dreams as in consciousness. She didn't want to offend the Doctor- on a friendship level, she still loved him and knew they would have a fanta- a good time, she corrected, tears forming again on the pillow at another reminder of what had passed.
In her dream, Rose saw the new doctor trying to explain to her why he had died and been reborn in a new body, why he had come back to her. Rose only wondered why anyone would choose such a thing if they lost their personality, changed into someone new.
She couldn't live a life like that, she told the dream doctor, she would
"rather die and make it easier for everyone me!" she finished with tears in her eyes, as she slid down the consol to the floor.
"Rose, please, try to understand- I have no choice," the doctor said earnestly, approaching her.
"I don't care!" Rose screamed at him. "I just want you to die properly so I can get on with my life! I loved you Doctor!" she said, collapsing into heaving sobs that shook her body.
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever?
Suddenly, Rose felt her dream shift. She was standing in a quiet country kitchen, outside she saw wide open meadows with a endless horizon- and was that two suns in the sky? Startled, she turned to walk outside- and ran face first into a leather jacket.
"Doctor?" she whispered as she looked up into his face, eyes widening with wonder.
"Oh, Rose" he sighed, as he pulled her into a hug. "Didn't I tell you to have a fantastic life? What are you doing here?"
"What d'you mean, what am I doing here? This is my dream, Doct-"
"No, Rose, this isn't a dream," the doctor interrupted her. "You're here, where you shouldn't be able to come. Your spirit is in the afterlife Rose Tyler. Now why did it come here?" he finished, looking down at her seriously.
"You shouldn't be able to come here unless…" Rose saw the Doctors eyes cloud briefly as he considered the implications.
Looking down into her teary eyes, he said quickly, "Rose Tyler- tell me without thinking about the answer- do you love me?"
Rose didn't need to think. "Yes" she replied, watching sadly as his face fell.
"No, Rose- it's not that I don't care for you" he said, blocking her from leaving. "But you have to understand-" frustrated, the Doctor paused before continuing. "I have to tell you something important, and you've got to obey me. Understand?" he queried, leading her over to the table in the corner. Rose nodded mutely, heart lead now that she knew the Doctor didn't-
"I love you."
-love her. Rose's heart paused as her brain realized it was wrong. Looking into is eyes she saw it was true.
"But Rose," he continued softly, taking his hand in hers, "This can't be- isn't meant to be," he said, gesturing at the house and countryside.
There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
"I know you couldn't have known, but this is Gallifrey- the Gallifrey that's outside of time and space, like all things become when they die. That's why I'm here Rose, this is where I'll spend eternity. When I saw you, I realized the only way for you to have gotten here was if you and I were meant to live together here, after you die- which means you love me, just like I love you" he said, squeezing her hand reassuringly.
"The thing is Rose- you have to let go of me for a while. You have to live your life before we can be together Rose- there's no way to change what's past and you have a life to live" he pressed onward, ignoring Rose's small noises of protest.
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us.
"I love you too much to let you throw it all away. So, listen to me, Rose Tyler: Wait. Live your life, have a fantastic life- and when it's over, you'll find me here. And we can have forever," he concluded simply, allowing Rose to fling her arms and his neck and hug him one last time.
"I'll miss you," Rose said, voice choked with emotion. She never wanted to let go of him, not even knowing he would be there for her in the end.
"I know. I'll miss you too. But I can give you something to remember me by, if you want it," he mumbled into her hair, drawing his arms around her tighter.
"Do it then," she said, and before she knew it she was falling back through time and into consciousness.
Disoriented, Rose wondered whether it had all been a dream.
Despairing as she saw no token of his visit, no charm or sign that it had been real, Rose felt her knees crumple and she fell to the floor, silent grief raking her body. She should have know it was a dream- just wishful thinking, hoping that he was still there somewhere, instead of lost to time, gone except in memory.
Her love was never coming back, she realized, as the world caved in around her. Even when she died, if she went into an afterlife, how could he be there? He was still bloody alive! Alive but not the same! Hating time lords for as much as a dalek, Rose threw herself against the bed, lashing out at anything around her.
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,
When love must die?Suddenly, warm as the afternoon sun, a memory that had been lost to Rose before reemerged.
She remembered the kiss. She felt him kissing her gently, taking away his life to save hers. But there was no sadness- only sureness, that they would have other kisses- someday.
Rose's lashings calmed as she remembered the moment, and knew it hadn't been a dream. Clutching her pillow tightly, she knew. He had given her back the most precious memory she had: one perfect moment with which to hold the promises of tomorrow.
But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Rose wasn't afraid to smile at the doctor the next day. And she lived- lived life with a passion as strong as her doctor's had been when she was alive. She took more risks now, though- who could blame her, seeing as she had nothing to loose?
Years later, as Rose lay dying, she looked back at her life. Over 40 years worth of living isn't bad, she mused, wincing slightly in pain as she took a last look at the world. She had saved lives, made a difference- but was it worth it? Had anything really been changed because of her living? Gasping for air now as her blood leaked out around her, she only knew that she had lived her life.
Fantastic, a voice whispered gently in her mind. Calmed, Rose closed her eyes briefly.
When she opened them again, she knew she had died. She saw her body far below, falling away through time and space. Suddenly she landed in a pair of leather clad arms.
"I've waited a long time for you, Rose Tyler," he said, grinning madly and swinging her round in a circle in the open air.
"Am I- here to stay then?" she asked, hope shinning in her eyed.
"Yes, love. Yes you are," he responded, drawing her against him and kissing her fears away. And Rose didn't mind dying to save a world in the least.
Forever is our today.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
As they started off towards their home, the doctor scooped her up I his arms, making her squeal with delight and fling her arms around his neck.
"Oh, and Rose?" he said suddenly, looking down at her. "You were fantastic," he said seriously.
"I did it for us," she replied, smiling up at her doctor.
Forever is our today-
Who waits forever anyway?
"And you know what?" she added. "I think it's time to try domestic," she finished evilly, laughing as the doctor pretended to drop her.
"Oi! What did I tell you about making this place domestic?" he said in a mock serious tone.
"Well, this is hardly the TARDIS, is it?" Rose replied cheekily, arms pointing at the landscape to emphasize her point.
"Oh have it your way," the doctor sighed, resigned.
"But just till the TARDIS gets here. Remember, she'll die when my last regeneration dies, so she'll find us eventually!" he added grinning.
"Honestly- I can't wait," Rose said, teasing him.
"No one has to wait forever," he said happily, pulling her close.
Arms around one another, they headed indoors to wait for their spaceship. It would get there eventually, and in the mean time, they had a lot to catch up on.
A/N: Please review! Pretty please with a mini TARDIS on top!