S.M. Owns all characters. Bare with me as I know things are confusing and scattered right now. Things will all make sense, in due time! Also, in case ya didn't know this is a companion for my other story... RosaliesThorn. It will probably make more sense if you read them together.

Dear Diary,

We just got back from Volturra. Just me, Mom, Dad and Grandpa Carlisle. I do love my family and I do love spending time with them but I just

missed my Jake so much. It is hard for us to be apart, not to mention this wasn't just a leisurely trip for fun. We had promises to keep and it seems

like every so often our presence is requested by the "Volturri" for a "visit". It's always the same, them trying to persuade one or all of us to join

them. We keep up with the facade of friendship to keep the peace but who knows how long it will work for. They are determined it seems to get

there hands on us. Especially me, for as long as I can remember I have been a great fascination of Aro.

It wasn't all bad I guess I did make a new friend. Well, I guess a secret friend. I have been warned repeatedly by my Father to be careful, not to

trust any of them. But I think he is a bit overprotective. I mean I have heard all the stories about how crazy he used to be with my Mom when she

was human. I feel like he has me to be crazy with now. He ignores the fact that I am an adult, am married and am capable of protecting myself. But

I guess there are worse things in the world than having a father who cares. I took his warning but did not let it prejudice me in my thinking. I

mean after all, these are people Carlisle once called family. They cannot all be bad.

Either way, I would like to think I am a good enough judge of character that I can go off of my intuitions. I can tell Chelsea isn't like the rest of

them, she has a good heart. She didn't choose this life for herself either and we have talked about her reasons for staying with the Volturri so

long. She hasn't really known any other life and once she met Afton she knew she had found her family in him. They are different than the rest.

Even their gifts I think say a lot about them. Chelsea has a way of making bonds stronger, strengthening a family if you will. Afton his gift is similar

but can teeter on the brink of inappropriate. Like when he demonstrated it for me with my parents. I was not amused. He creates a surge of love,

lust, passion etc. He can make you passionate about an issue or passionate about a person and so on. It was really disturbing to see my parents

like that, they are bad enough as it is. But a lot of the guard it seems have these almost hateful, powerful gifts that can be misused. I think

Chelsea and Afton are just a bundle of love and all around good people.

Chelsea really is the best though. I feel like I have found a good friend in her. It's kind of hard living the way I have been. I have a very close

amazing family who I can go to about anything. But sometimes it is hard, I have issues and personal things relating to my feelings for Jake, our

marriage and our love life that just are not things I can talk to them about. The only other female I know who knows everything about us is Leah

and that would be just weird. It has been great having a non-related female to talk to. Turns out we have a lot in common too. The only catch is

that me spending so much time with her has made my parents really uncomfortable. I don't intend to stop talking to her and do plan on keeping in

touch as much as I can when we get back. I just decided it was probably for the best that I not think about it or mention it to my father. He loves

to overreact. She promised to come and see me when she could and Jake is ok with it. Well, I don't think he likes the idea of her coming to town

and I can tell he has his suspicions but he does think it is nice for me to have someone to talk to. He hasn't objected to us keeping in touch, as

long as it is long distance.

One thing about my life is that I have had a lot of decisions made for me. I mean I wouldn't change anything at all. But even my soul mate was

decided for me. I was imprinted on, it was never up to me to find love. It was already found for me, before I was even born. I love Jake more than

life itself though so in the end it all worked out. But my future friendships are something I am going to decide for myself. In the end, it is up to me

this time.

-Ness