Tagging: Alex, Jaden. Nikita, Nathan, Thom, Sean, Sam and Owen.
Ships: Alex/Jaden. (Nikita/Alex, Sean/Nathan.)
Rating: K.
Thank you to Adey, who requested this pairing. This one's for you, boo!

Warning, I've written most of this while being tired, so it's not as high quality as some of my other works. I tried to play with undefined time skips though, and I am rather happy with how it turned out.

Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy. :)

(Ps: Inspired by Angus & Julia Stone - Wasted. Give it a listen, it's a beautiful song.)

The sun has set over the main campus of Princeton, where the year is on the verge of beginning again. Families are pouring through the hallways of the several residential halls and all over the open spaces of nature fraternities and sisterhoods are setting up grand welcomes for the new students.

In a room of Whitman Hall, it's not a welcome but a goodbye.

"Daaaaaad," Alex groans when she is pulled into her father's chest, her face squished against his shirt, a big hand ruffling through her hair. "You know you can visit any time."

Nikolai Udinov sighs, almost dramatically so, and loudly proclaims, "But my baby girl is leaving me for college!"

In the corner of the room, Nikita Mears chuckles quietly.

All of Alex's belongings are littered over the room—she guesses it's a good thing her girlfriend's roommate hasn't arrived yet. She watches with a heavy feeling in her chest as Alex, despite the bravado, clings to her father in this big unknown. If only she could stay here, but her parents don't have the funds to send her off to a prestigious college like Princeton.

However, she is more than proud of Alex, and she won't ruin this for her. That's why she's smiling from ear to ear when Alex finally pulls away from her father and turns to her.

"You're going to have the time of your life," Nikita whispers before kissing Alex hard, wishing her good luck and praying she won't forget about her when her life turns more excited than it has ever in the small town they're from.

"I'm going to miss you."

"We'll call and Skype whenever you have time, okay?"

Alex nods, her eyes welling up, and eagerly steals a last kiss.

The sadness of goodbye lingers for a while. But she does manage to put her mind off it by going about unpacking her things and making the room more like home. Posters adorn the walls by the time she's done, her clothes are all neatly placed inside the wardrobe on the left side. Her pillows were thrown on the bed she hasn't yet bothered to make, and atop her desk stands a big framed picture of her and Nikita, as well as the heap of books she has already bought and her laptop that's charging back up from the long drive.

She is in the middle of musing about what this year is going to be like, how this room is going to be filled with memories made when the mystery person of those memories finally steps into the room.

Jaden Ellis is… quite something else. Alex needs a moment to snap out of it before she rushes to her feet and sticks out her hand.

"I'm Alex."

"Jaden," she replies, nodding her head and shaking her hand before dropping a bag onto her bed. She scans the room, her eyes immediately narrowing on the picture on the desk.

Oh god.

There is no doubt about what they are to each other. Nikita has her arms around Alex's waist and kisses her cheek, while Alex looks like she has captured all the world's happiness.

"Girlfriend?"

Alex nods, her heart hammering in her throat. "Yeah. Do you…"

"Mind? Please don't flatter yourself, I don't care about you."

The door doesn't exactly slam, but it rings in Alex's ears regardless. As far as first impressions go, she really did make the worst one.

Their relationship doesn't start well and stays that way. They live somewhat peacefully together in their dorm room, but either Jaden is gone by the time Alex wakes up for class, or she hasn't come back the night before to begin with.

They never exchange more than a few words and things get awkward fast.

Despite never really speaking with Jaden, Alex quickly figures out a couple of things. She's here on an athletics scholarship so when she doesn't have class, possibilities are she's at practice or running extra laps. She is in the program for a PhD in Chemistry, though she, too, is only a freshman.

And Alex is unmistakably jealous of that. She hasn't figured out what in the hell to focus on so all she is doing this year are general courses that could lead into numerous education paths.

Because befriending her homophobic roommate is the furthest from a possibility, Alex makes friends in her classes instead. She has accumulated some by the time school's out for October recess. She promises Sean from Philosophy, Nathan from English Literature and Owen and Sam from down the hall that she'll definitely keep contact and over break, she finds herself looking forward more to getting back than being happy at being home.

And Nikita, oh, Nikita is wonderful. Their reunion is amazing—and very, very hot; but, something feels off. Nikita goes to a small community college in the neighbourhood and works, and she has been carving a life for herself in the town already. She is settling.

Alex isn't. God, she can't picture herself living in such a small town anymore. She wants bigger, and more—a sea of possibilities, thousands of people to meet and then some.

Departing is not as difficult as it was the first time.

"It's just been busy," Alex mutters quietly. She closes the door behind her and sinks down to the floor. Inside the room, Jaden is still peacefully asleep. It's seven am.

Nikita is calling on her phone at work and the sound is crackly at best, cutting out occasionally. Yet they're doing this anyway, because they promised each other they would try and not let the distance and time zone difference bother them.

"How've your classes been?"

Alex ponders that for a moment. Not because it's a difficult question to answer, but because she doesn't want to give away that it's all she cares about right now—that realization hurts. They were so happy together for so long.

"They're pretty good. Just… well, like I said, very busy. Lots of homework and stuff."

"Don't work too much, alright? We wouldn't want you burning out before you get back to me." Nikita chuckles and Alex convinces herself that maybe she can hold on just because she still loves, more than anything, to make her girlfriend laugh.

She forces herself to smile, even though no one can see, and chortles. "Nope, I'll wait until you can burn me out."

"That's how I like to hear it."

The call comes to a close shortly after and Alex peels herself from the floor. Her laptop feels heavy pressing against her hip, and she tells herself it's because her sleep was cut short so abruptly and her body wants more rest.

She enters the room and—oh. Jaden is in the middle of changing into running gear and Alex catches a muscled back mid-flex, sharply defined shoulder blades and loose curls of dark hair swaying around toned shoulders.

"What are you looking at?" Jaden asks, turning around to look so pointedly into her eyes Alex swears she shrinks two sizes.

"Nothing, I'm sorry." She hurries to her desk so she can put her laptop away, and doesn't look up until the lock clicks shut.

It's one thing to be attracted to a straight girl. It's another to be attracted to a straight girl when she is in a relationship and, added to that, the object of her affection is repulsed by the idea of two girls together.

Alex buries her face underneath her pillow and tells herself she's never waking up again.

Of course she wakes up again. She wakes up again every day, even though it becomes increasingly difficult to face a fading love for the girlfriend that's still so very loyal to her and to face a growing attraction for a girl that pretty much hates her.

But the goofballs she calls friends definitely make it easier.

They don't know but they give her respite by inviting her for dinner at a nearby restaurant where they spend far too much money on only desserts, or joining her on a trip to the library where they get kicked out for the day because they laugh too hard, or by Sean randomly popping up in English Literature with coffee even though he could've been sleeping for two more hours.

(It's also amusing to see something blossom between Sean and Nathan, even though they don't realize it yet.)

And life at Princeton is more than what she had expected it to be. It's so full of everything. It's more than life.

So she can deal with her dramas and she can deal with the pain, because at least she is starting to feel like she is where she belongs.

The first time Jaden and Alex civilly speak again is two weeks before Christmas break.

"I was thinking of putting a Christmas tree down," Jaden says one morning when her six am practice has been cancelled due to the snow. "Because I'm not going home and—"

"I like it," Alex quickly says. She smiles and, surprisingly, Jaden smiles in response. (She is so beautiful when she does that.) "We can head to town tonight. I'm sure Owen or Sam can drive us."

"Owen and Sam? The twins that always pick you up for breakfast?"

Alex laughs and nods. "Yeah, that's them."

That night, the twins do agree to drive them and so they do. Alex and Jaden sit in the back seat of their caboodle, and it's kind of crappy, and they're freezing their butts off, but music from the nineties is blaring on the radio and they all sing along, as if they have no cares, and they're laughing.

Maybe it's the magic of Christmas time, or maybe Jaden is growing to accept that LGBTQA* people exist and she shouldn't care about it so strongly. Whatever it is, Alex's cheeks hurt from smiling and all she can think is that maybe they can be friends someday.

And the result of a magical day is an even more magical tree that might glow a little too bright to sleep, but beautiful and, well, theirs.

When she leaves for Christmas break, she doesn't feel like she's going home—she feels like she's leaving it.

Her feet break the smooth surface of snow on her way to the front of campus where her father is picking her up. Her bag bangs into her back with every step, and her fingers curled into the pockets of her coat are still aching from the cold.

She is so reluctant to leave.

Christmas is horrible. She gets some things she has always wanted, but she breaks up with Nikita because it's long overdue and it's nasty, it's painful. She cries herself to sleep the next few nights and then gets away before she can even celebrate New Year's with her former friends like she had planned.

The Elliot-Matthews (long story) twins welcome her back with the biggest hugs and the promise the three of them will find a way to rock into the new year.

She is thankful for them (and for the rum they pour into her hot coco).

Her mind is completely blank of any thoughts concerning Jaden until she gets back to her room and realizes that she forgot Jaden wasn't going home for the break.

"You're back early," Jaden remarks, looking up from a book.

"Yeah." She snatches the frame from the desk and chucks it into the waste bin. "Don't worry, I won't be in your way." She drops her bag onto her bed and makes to leave again when suddenly her roommate is so close so fast, a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay. I don't mind."

Alex isn't in the right mood to appreciate this progress so she just leaves again.

She wanders out in the snow for a while and when she comes back, Jaden is still where she was the previous time, propped onto her bed, engrossed in the book she's reading, but this time she doesn't look up.

Alex carefully unbuttons her coat, afraid her frozen fingers will break off like twigs, and shakes the snow from her hair.

When she is back to room temperature, she looks at Jaden and blurts out something she maybe shouldn't have, something she didn't consciously think about, "Are you doing anything for New Year's?"

She shrugs, but does put her book down. "I semi-planned something with Thom, why?"

"I… Well, me and my friends… Sam and Owen, you've met them. We're thinking of doing something. You could join if you want?" She sounds hopeful even when she tries not to be.

Jaden's smile is so intoxicating. "Sure. Sounds fun."

Alex doesn't remember New Year's very well except for the fireworks, the sloppy kisses on her cheek from a very drunk Thom (who she really likes), and Sam dipping her down to slip her his tongue, and Owen carrying their wobbling selves home. And she remembers Jaden curling up into bed next to her and putting a small wrapped box onto her uncovered stomach.

It's a key chain, but she adores it.

And as soon as the stores open back up, she gets Jaden a new pair of gloves with tips that work on touch screens like those on her fancy running watch and her iPhone.

Jaden seems to appreciate it, and their relationship grows a little better over Christmas break.

They don't become best friends or anything. But they do watch a movie together occasionally, and their friend groups have come together, and—well, they actually do kind of spend a lot of time together.

They make homework together in their room instead of Alex heading out to the library to avoid conflict, and Jaden convinces her to go on her morning jog with her because it's good for her.

Alex loves it. It's incredibly cold, but her mind clears out completely and she is reduced to her breathing, in and out, and that's all she is for forty minutes until she collapses forwards into the snow and refuses to move for at least a minute.

She gets pneumonia from it and Jaden brings her soup between classes, so she doesn't regret it. Not really.

Jaden takes her to a concert downtown in some small café for her birthday.

Alex gets drunk one night and blubbers out all the things she regrets about her break-up with Nikita. Jaden holds her through it.

They bake a cake together for Thom's birthday and spend the night giggling over Sean and Nathan stealing the spotlight by being adorable motherfuckers (in love).

One night Jaden slips under her sheets and cuddles into her side, and she says, "I don't have any parents" and she says "I've been alone for so long", and Alex soaks all of it and promises that Jaden won't ever be alone again.

The end of the year sneaks up on them. Alex struggles with her finals for a little while but ends up acing them, and then suddenly that's it. The year is over and there is so much she hasn't done yet, and there are so many reasons she doesn't want to go home for the entire summer break.

She is quiet when she packs her bags. The room goes from homey to blank, as if they have never been there. She blows the dust from the books she thought she was going to be reading this year; she only got through one.

"I don't want to go home," she whispers as she zips up her bag. "You know? I've gotten so used to being here. This is home."

Jaden nods, plopping down on her desk. "I do know."

There is a moment of silence. Then Alex drops everything she is holding back on her bed and sits down beside Jaden, on the desk that sighs underneath their weight.

"Can I ask you something?"

Her roommate (for just one more day) nods. "Sure."

Alex takes in a deep breath and squares her shoulders. This is one of the few things she has been wanting to ask Jaden for so long but never dared to, not when their relationship got a little stronger and not when it seemed they were kind of friends of a sort.

"Why did you hate me from the moment you knew I was gay?"

Jaden purses her lips and looks at Alex, really looks at Alex like she hasn't done before. And then she bites the corner of her bottom one and God, that's adorable.

"You were beautiful and taken."

"I—what?"

"You heard me." Jaden's laugh is… nervous? Is it really? "I don't like it when I see something I can't have. You were beautiful—you still are, don't get me wrong. But I saw you and I thought, wow, but then I realized you were spoken for and… well, I don't really deal well with that."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm still really sorry you and Nikita broke up though. It looked hard on you."

"That was because of you," she blurts out, and doesn't regret it. It's true. And that attraction has grown into something more profound as she got to know Jaden, flawed and stubborn and judgmental but so very beautiful, inside and out. "I broke up with her because I was like… falling for you."

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Well, not yet."

They both laugh, though everything around them is charged. The tension coils in Alex's shoulders.

"We're so stupid, aren't we?" Jaden asks, her voice barely audible. Alex nods.

The distance between them gradually disappears but that first press of lips is… awkward, too tentative. Alex's arms hang by her sides because how does one transition from being kind of friends to being, you know, kind of something more? She hardly even understands how they went from hating each other to being friends, and this is so much more complicated.

Apparently, you need a brute force like Jaden, who puts her hands on Alex's cheeks, mutters "Now kiss me like you mean it," and they do. The kiss lights something inside of Alex that sparks all the way to the crown of her head and the tips of her toes.

And when Sam and Owen ask her later that day if she wants to spend her summer break at their home residence in Florida, and Jaden can come—well, Alex can't possibly say no to that.

They sit in the back of the same crappy car, and this time it's top forty but it's not the only thing that has changed.

Alex and Jaden's hands are intertwined in the latter's lap and instead of laughing their lungs out, they kiss away each other's breaths.