"Why him, Maura?"
She looked at me dumbly for a moment, and then realized who I was talking about and shook her head and dropped her eyes.
I clenched the wheel and focused on the road, "You could have anyone, and I mean anyone, and you have to go for him!"
She grimaced, and I realized I had started speeding and raising my voice, so I pulled my car over.
"And in my house."
She was still silent.
"You fucked my brother in my own home, and you have nothing to say for your self." I spat. "I mean I thought we were friends."
That stirred her, "It's pointless to respond to your abuse. If I had a brother, and you liked him, I would be happy for you both, because I'd be assured that both of you were safe with each other, rather strangers. I would be happy for you." She looked at me with pure venom in her eyes, her nose flaring.
I was rendered speechless, and she took that advantage over me to continue.
"I thought we were friends too, but apparently not. I mean, really. What is so bad about Tommy and I? I think we're good for each other."
At that I snickered. "Good for each other? Maura, you belong with someone rich and smart, and not my brother."
"I can't talk to you like this, Jane, you are closing your mind, and I don't understand why you can't be happy for me. It makes me want to cry, but I don't think you're worth crying over anymore."
My stomach clenched, and I felt like throwing up. All I really wanted was a beer. Well, a beer and a nice little dummy to beat the shit out of.
I started driving without another word.
Why was I so outraged they were together?
Tommy was a good guy, and she could help him.
So what was so bad? So wrong? So unsettling?
Why was my gut popping out of my… gut hole?
"Where are you taking me?" She asked, hardly enough emotion in her voice for me to notice she was tearing up, and slow the car down a little.
It wouldn't be the first time she cried because I was "driving recklessly"
Like I would ever put her in danger.
"Home." Red light.
"Your home? Or my home?"
"Yours. Or would you rather come to mine, and fuck Tommy in my bed this time?"
"I wouldn't do that, and you know it Jane." Her voice hitches.
"Why not? Not hard enough for you?" That was a pun- well a little pun. And that right there was where I first slipped up. Good thing she's bad at pun and innuendo. I think.
I hope so. Green light.
"Why are you so angry? Do you think I'll hurt him? Or he'll hurt me?" She sounded so confused, trying to explain why I was acting out like I was.
The scientist in her had to explain everything.
I guess me hurting wasn't in her list of factors.
I wouldn't add it up for her. Red Light.
I couldn't.
I shut my mouth before any words spilled out and gave me away. That would suck.
"Jane." She wouldn't take nothing for an answer.
I decided to try and scare her off, which I kind of knew would back fire horribly on me. Call it what you want, but I knew she wouldn't back down. I had to be setting my self up. Green light.
"Either I tell you why I'm freaking out and being a cunt and I lose you, or I don't and you think I'm a cunt and we're still friends. So it's your choice. I'd rather be friends, it's nicer that way." Red light.
"Jane. Tell me."
Green light.
Silence.
Red light.
"I love you."
Green light.
Silence.
Red light.
"You're so much more than my best friend. And I just thought, maybe you wanted me back. But you want my brother. And that's okay, Maura, I'm sorry I was being so rude to you. I hope you can forgive me. It was selfish, how I acted."
Green light.
Silence.
Red Light.
Silence.
Green light.
Silence.
Red Light.
Turn right. Turn left. Turn left.
Car door opens.
Gasp.
Car door closes.
Turn right. Turn right. Turn left.
Green light. Red light. Green light. Red light.
Frown. Tear. Tear. Gasp. Grimace. Tear. Sob.
Blur.
Pull over, left side.
Tears.