Wotcher anyone! The plot bunnies have attacked! Well, sorta. See, this was based off of what actually happened in my math class this year. And when I though about it, I was like "Hey, I can write something about Twilight with this!" yea, so the bunnies made me realize I could turn this into a Twilight one-shot, I added all of the people saying stuff and everything because obviously Bella and Edward aren't in my math class(But I wish they were!).

Note: this is past book four; just Renesme (sp?) is not in this, so Bella is already a vampire and stuff. So yea that's it read away!

Ajhena: But before they can read it, let's not forget the disclaimer, you forgot to put it in you other one-shot.

Right, well this is a disclaimer for both of them okay? And whose job is it to remind me of these things by the way?

Ahjena:………shut up.

Hehe, anyway here it is, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Okay so no, I don't own Twilight, Stephanie does though so, don't throw a fit and mob me thinking I'm her, cause Mythros knows, I'm NOT, or else I would have my own personal library with thousands of books…..alright sorry I'll stop drooling now. I do own the idea however.

We were sitting in math class, Geometry to be exact. For the last year we had been living in Black Rock, Utah, in Millard County. We were in one of their many High schools; it was pretty small compared to others, though still not smaller than Forks High, this one was called Eskdale High School.

I had been a vampire for 75 years now, 75 wonderful years with my family, and one Edward Cullen, my husband. Charlie had died about 32 years ago, though from old age. It was painless for him, that I was glad of. He never woke up from his sleep, and at first though I was sad, it soon turned to happiness. He was in a better place now, and I had no doubt he was in the hallelujah Chorus up in heaven with Phil and Renee, they had died younger than I would have liked, in a car crash, 22 years after we had left Forks. During my time of sadness from their deaths, Edward was always near by to comfort me, along with the rest of my family. They all helped me feel better in their own way, Jasper used his gift, Alice tried to give me a sense of familiarity, by taking me on very long shopping trips and playing Bella Barbie after, Rose helped with that. Carlisle and Esme were….Carlisle and Esme. The loving caring parents that helped me whenever I needed it. Emmett helped by poking, prodding, teasing, and pranking me to no end. It was hard to be sad with Emmett there really, his games never ceased to amuse me or Edward.

Edward. Just his name brings up so many memories. Fun times, sad times, inappropriate times best not mentioned, hehe good times. Ahem.

Currently we were in our math class listening to the teacher talk about proofs. Ugh. Through 75 years of learning the same thing over and over again in math class this topic still eludes me still. I should probably takes notes on this one, or at least listen and stop talking to Edward the whole time. One thing about being a vampire I love, we can talk so low humans ears couldn't hear it, but we could, also my mind speech thingy can come in handy as well, ahhhhh the perks of being a vampire, that and the fact I get to spend my entire existence with the sexiest vampire to ever exist, though my opinion may be a little biased. Unfortunately, as much as I should pay attention, I really don't want to right now, since I don't want to stop ogling the god I am sitting next to. Yes, despite being together for 75 years, we still can hardly keep our hands off one another, just one of those thirsts that can't be quenched. Wow, I think I just made a pun!

My eyes right now were roaming his perfect face, starting with his beautiful topaz eyes, down to his perfectly sculptured nose, to his full lips that are just so darn kissable! His face was like a carved statue, like Adonis, my nickname I call him in my head. My eyes traveled down from his face to his chest that I knew for a fact, had a perfect 6-pack and was pale, chiseled, and smooth under my hands. I could feel it under my hand if I concentrated hard enough, I shivered. I traveled down to his stomach which was perfect like the rest of him; my eyes moved farther south and landed on something even better. I would have been blushing right now if I still could. I never would think about that part of him ever, unless we were in the act, and usually I was too distracted by the bliss and pleasure than to examine his err….man parts, my heart would have sped up if it could still beat, thankfully I could perform none of these reaction, and Edward couldn't read my mind, so there is no way he would know I ever thinking of…..

'Wait, why can't I think of his…yea, I mean, he is my husband!' I wasn't going to lie it was the best part of his body, on him. Let's leave it at that. It was ridicules, how we were married and made love numerous times per day, and my mind was still reacting like it would to a school crush when I was still human, all those years ago. I needed to start snapping out of it, and start thinking like a wife would about a husband, or the love of someone's life, not a crush. I put those thoughts aside. 'I'll think further on that later'

I kept moving down his body, down his well defined and strong and muscular legs and down to his feet, and then decided to go back up again though on the other side of him. SI followed with my eyes, down the curve of his spine where the skin was smooth and flawless just like the rest of him, back up to his shoulder muscles that strained against his tight fitting shirt that wasn't too tight, but showed off this figure perfectly, every time he moved at all. I went down more till my sight landed on something else. I observed it telling myself I had the right too. His body was Adonis and the hottest ever but there was only one word that described this. Wow. Not even that would be sufficient. The though was out before I could stop it

'He has a nice ass' I caught myself then, I never thought stuff like that, then again I didn't usually describe every single part of his body either.

'Who's going to know?' After all no one can read my mind, and the only one who can read minds in general couldn't even touch mine unless I lowered my mental shield. Bella decided it was time she stopped ogling and started listening, I tuned into what the teacher was saying.

"In order to prove that two triangles are congruent, you must have three factors that are equal or congruent in each triangle. It could be a side or an angle; there are different combinations of side and angles. One would be the simplest one side x side x side or SSS. If you had found three sides in each triangle that are congruent your last reason would be SSS is congruent to SSS. Other combinations would be SSA, side x side x angle, or ASS angle x side x side." Mr. Meisinger wrote this all on the board. People were snickering and trying not to laugh as they read one particular section he wrote. He paused after writing this then said,

"Wait, that's wrong." He erased it and rewrote AAS instead. He smiled with the rest who were laughing and smiling too, he was still a young teacher after all.

"There is no such combination called ASS, there is only ASA and AAS, ASS is an illegal move or in other words does not exist." This ensued more laughing till we joined in quietly. People were saying "ass" under their breaths while laughing with their friends. Edward smiled too, after all no matter how many times you learn the same thing; the funny accidents are never the same. As for me, well….

'Was it me or was Mr. Meisinger look right at me, when he realized his mistake?' Of course he wasn't I was just being paranoid right? It's not like he knew I was thinking about Edwards's ass just about the entire period. I'll just calm down and laugh with the rest of the class.

"Why is Justin looking at me?!" I thought panicking. 'Humans can't read minds can they?' My logical part of my brain answered me.

'No, Bella they can't. If a super hot vampire who can read minds can't, then neither can anyone else. I tried calming down to no avail. Every few seconds I saw some one else staring at me accusingly, I felt like the whole room was all looking at me and laughing.

'Why is everyone looking at me?!" my mind yelled, It felt like there was a box around me, the lids was closing every so slowly then a click resounded signaling the lock clicking into place. It was way too crowded in this room. If I were human right now, I'd be hyperventilating; the only thing that showed my distress was me gripping the desk so hard it was leaving an indent of my fingers. I need to leave n-

RING!!!!!!!

I jumped at the sound of the bell telling everyone the class was over; I must have been really lost in my thought for me to have been scared by the bell, that hasn't happened in a while. I got up with Edward holding my hand, it must have been shaking because he looked at me and asked,

"Bella, are you alright?" he sounded concerned. I smiled nervously at him and replied to him in my mind, after all we were still in the class room with the teacher right there, and even if he couldn't hear us he would still see our lips moving.

'Yea, I'm fine just got a little distracted is all.' I tried sounding casual, I really did I don't think it worked cause he didn't buy it.

"Yea, I noticed. You were fine till the teacher wrote ass on the board by mistake," He said to me. "What did that have to do with what was distracting you?" I hesitated, I mean it was kind of embarrassing to admit I was staring at his ass and thinking how great it looked. However he looked at me expecting an answer so I answered as best I could with out giving it away.

'I was….thinking about something and what he put on the board just happened to relate with my line of thoughts.' I said very quickly, I could see him thinking trying to figure out what I was trying to tell him without saying it outright.

'And everyone was looking at me like they knew and…can humans read minds?' I asked him I was starting to panic a bit again, he noticed and rubbed circles on my hand were in the hallway now, he was silent all through the walk to my locker, and you could tell he was thinking. The circles did their job I was calm in a matter of minuets, still mortifyingly embarrassed though. I got my books out of my locker and could see on his face that he was putting two and two together. I could just see the thoughts on his face; if I was thinking about something to do with ass it would most likely mean somebody's ass and the only person whose ass I would think about or look at would be…. He smiled, and then started laughing. I ducked my head, and felt very VERY embarrassed

"It's not funny!" I hissed out at him. He pulled me against him, he stopped laughing, but he didn't stop smiling I noticed.

"Bella, you're embarrassed because you were staring at me and happened to start looking at my ass?" he asked me. I nodded at him, staring at the floor; it was too hard to look him in the eye at the moment. My cheeks would have been the color of the ripest tomato, had I been alive, good thing I wasn't. He smiled bigger and put his finger under my chin to make me look at him.

"Bella, hun, it not as bad as you think." He murmured, and then kissed me. His lips moved against mine in calming manner, my body relaxed into his till I was molded against him. He pulled back after a minuet, and looked at me.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." He told me. He grinned at me.

"Well, checking out my husbands ass isn't that bad, but convincing my self that everyone else heard me thinking that I was, and in class, then having you find out like this……" I trailed off just not making much sense. He kissed my forehead gently, I was feeling better already. I really don't know how he does what he does. He held me close in his arms; my head resting on his chest, my hands resting on his shoulders, his arms were around my waist tightly. He made me look into his eyes, and he stared into mine.

"You can check out my ass anytime you want okay?" I giggled at him and rested my head back on his chest, he lowered his head down to my ear and whispered,

"And you don't have to be embarrassed because…" I strained to hear because he was talking so low then I felt something grab my butt and press me harder against him.

"I do all the time." He said grinning. I felt my own smile respond to his.

Why that sneaky little ….

Phew, my hand hurts, wow, that was a lot for me. Well, you like it? You don't like it? Let me know, in a review that is! Even flames are accepted! Sorry about the grammar errors, you see I have a beta but I haven't update my story for a very long time and I don't know if she is even doing it anymore, and I just don't have the guts to email her and ask, cause I'm just shy like that…..

Ajhena: *snorts* And YOU want to be in Slytherin, you're more like a Hufflepuff, wouldn't even make it into Gryffindor.

Hush you! And there is nothing wrong with Hufflepuffs, their loyal, and Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff. And I wouldn't want to be a Gryffindor anyway, their brave and all but their goody too shoes, no offence to anyone. Sorry on my ramble of Harry Potter, my mind is stuck on it since I have been reading a lot of HP fan fiction lately. So, yea, click on the button below this that says review okay? Edward says please! And Ajhena says she'll track you down with her key blade and daggers if you don't! Oh, and I'll sick Auron after you too, along with Rikku, but she'll give you candy!

~In Love With A Dead Warrior