A/N: This is a companion for episode 9.04. I'm not really sure where it came from, but I was just doodling during one of my lectures and this is what came out. Let me know what you think!
"Eric."
Her voice rang out across the pier.
He'd know that voice anywhere, of course. He couldn't bring himself to turn toward her though, regardless of how much he craved the comfort that he knew she could offer. And so, he stood, not acknowledging her presence.
She came to stand next to him, seemingly realizing that despite his inability to verbalize it, he needed her.
The pair of them stood there watching the darkening night sky for a long time before he sighed and glanced down at her where she stood next to his right arm.
Her green eyes stared up at him and he saw the complete and total trust and support that she held for him.
"Come over. We can talk?" Calleigh suggested quietly, her voice breaking the silence for the first time since she'd called his name on her approach.
"Can we just go for a walk on the beach instead?" he asked, his voice just as quiet.
"Yeah, of course. Anything you want to do."
She slid her hand into his as they walked down to the sand. Her fingers fit his in a perfect match, like two adjoining puzzle pieces, just like they always had. He squeezed her hand gently. It meant a lot to him that she was willing to set their differences aside and be there for him when he needed her most.
They walked across the sand in complete synch until he stopped.
"Sit?"
She nodded and came to a stop as well. She watched as he dropped down to the ground at her feet. She noticed that he looked utterly defeated.
She hesitated for a moment, but then nudged his legs apart and parked herself between them in a familiar but now forbidden manner. They'd sat like this a thousand times it seemed.
His arms came around her on their own will, also recognizing the familiarity of the way that they sat in the still warm sand. She had initiated their current position, but he wasn't sure how she would react—they were friends after all—but she just relaxed against his body.
He reveled in the feeling of having her back in his arms. That's where she belonged if you asked him. A few wisps of blonde hair brushed against his face and her scent enveloped him. He took a few deep breaths. Her scent was and always had been one of his undoings. He associated that smell of lavender and vanilla with his feisty blonde and the feelings—love, comfort, happiness—that came associated to being with her.
"Not shooting Memmo today was the hardest thing I've ever done," Eric told her, drawing strength from the woman in his arms.
Calleigh said nothing, knowing that he had more to get off of his chest.
"I don't know how I'm ever going to sleep again. He murdered my sister. He murdered Marisol, Calleigh. And I let him go. I had the shot and I let him drive away. How am I supposed to live with that?" Eric asked, his voice rough with emotion.
Calleigh slipped her arms over his, bracing him against her before she spoke.
"What you did today took more courage than killing him did and Marisol wouldn't have had it any other way," she told him.
"He killed her. How could she have been happy that I didn't act?"
"Because, Eric, his daughter was standing right there. You would have torn that girl's world apart even more than Memmo tore yours and Horatio's apart. Memmo may be a bastard, but he's still Elsa's father. Having your father shot and killed in front of you—regardless of what type of person he is—isn't something that you can recover from. Marisol wouldn't have wanted you to shatter Elsa's world in her name," Calleigh reasoned.
"I wanted to though. I wanted to so bad. I would have given anything to be able to shoot him," Eric growled, anger and frustration rolling off of him.
Calleigh stroked his tense arm. "I know. But you're better than that."
"I don't think I am. I regret not taking the shot."
"You are better than that, Eric. If you had killed him in front of his daughter, you would have been the same as him. You may think that it was the better option, but you never would have been able to live with yourself. You're better than him," Calleigh said resolutely, hoping to convince him.
"I was gonna kill him, Cal. Shoot him right in front of his daughter," Eric said, his voice breaking and fraught with self-disgust. It was obvious that he'd realized what the repercussions of his actions would have been.
"But you didn't. It took so much strength not to. I'm proud of you," she whispered the last part. She wasn't sure that she had the right to tell him that anymore.
He took a deep breath. He felt better after talking about what had happened—or almost happened—earlier that day. It would still haunt him, of course, but he felt better about the decision that he'd made.
As much as he didn't want to admit it—out of defiance and dignity—he was glad to hear that she was proud of him. He always wanted her to be proud of him.
They sat wrapped around each other looking out at the ocean for what seemed like a long time before either of them moved.
He tilted his head and placed a light kiss on the side of her neck. "I've missed you."
"I know. I've missed you too," she sighed.
"Will you stay with me?" he asked hesitantly and pulled back to look at her face. Sure, they'd both acknowledged that they missed each other, but they'd know that that was inevitable. Missing each other didn't fix the problems that were keeping them apart though.
"No," she said.
He was momentarily stunned, but then he saw the grin playing at the corner of her lips.
"As long as you want me to. As long as you want me too," she continued, repeating the very words to him that he'd said to her in the hospital so long ago. She'd replayed those words over and over again in her mind since that day and she knew that it was true.
Eric shook his head at her, but couldn't help but grin as he pressed his lips to her cheek gently.
Things had been so…different back then. Their relationship was forbidden and new. They had no idea what would come of it, they just knew that there was great promise.
Now, now they knew what possibilities their relationship held. They knew the love that they were capable of. They also knew they hurt that they could cause one another, though.
They may not have fixed, well, anything, but at least he knew that she would always be there for him; just like he would be her.
"We'll figure this out Eric. I'm here for you," Calleigh said quietly.
"I know."