How To Annoy A: TLA Characters
By: StandUnderMyUmbrella
Part One
Katara
1. Tell Katara she looks like a man. If she denies, or if you want to add a little more spice, hold up a mirror with a picture of George Bush Senior taped onto it.
2.Whenever Katara is waterbending, whisper to the nearest person and say, 'it's really magic water. They're a traveling circus.' Make sure your whisper is loud enough to hear it.
3.On Halloween, come dressed to an A: TLA party as a Tacky Tourist. If people ask what you're supposed to be, simply reply 'I'm Katara!' (Make sure you purchase a waterproof proof Tacky Tourist costume.)
4. Run to Katara and start acing like a chicken, noises, feathers, all that jazz. Come on, everyone hates it, although it IS funny!
5. Fart in a quiet place with lots of people. Turn to the closest person and whisper in their ear, 'it was the fire flakes she had at the party. And, it was a long night for Katara'.
6. After Katara waterbends yell, 'no smoking on the premises! The pigeons are getting cancer!' (Note, this is supposed to confuse her.)
7. Go up to Katara and say, 'ooh! Your dad! You want some exotic ice for that exotic burn?'
8. Go back into time when Katara went to preschool. Kick her butt at something and say, 'stick THAT is your juice box and suck it,' while pointing at her. (Note, make sure that her father isn't in earshot and/or view of you while doing this.)
9. Run up to her and say, 'it's because you're gay, isn't it?' (Note, after doing this, you must run away and hide in a dark, mysterious place for a bajillion years. That, or hide in a freezer. Your choice.) (Another note, this is supposed to confuse Katara. Again.)
10. Pay Ty Lee to run up to Katara and have her say, 'it's because you're straight, isn't it?' And have her run away and cry. (Note, you AND Ty Lee must hide in a dark, mysterious place or a freezer.) (Another note, do not hide in the same dark, mysterious place or freezer as Ty Lee. Because that would be quite awkward.)
11. Ask Katara what Pi is. Tell her to include ALL the numbers, not just 3.14. (Note, this is supposed to get her a hobby, and for your enjoyment.)
12. Videotape Katara singing in her hairbrush as a microphone and dancing in her underwear to the song 'Do You like Waffles'. (Note, this is supposed to get visual proof that she is not 100 perfect. It's also supposed to get you to be the first trillionaire. Good luck.) (Another note, burn the tape once Katara figures out that is it on the Internet and point to your ex girlfriend/boyfriend.) (If you do not have an ex, simply point to your evil lunch lady. Nobody likes them anyway, right?)
13. Send Katara to a Laundromat. A few seconds should pass and eventually she'll have a towel rapped around her neck and a pair of tighty-whities atop her head. (Note, she must be the only one there in order for this to work. Otherwise, she'll only take a few rides in the spin cycle.)
14. Tell Katara to say, 'Fo Shizzle'. 'Nough said.
15. When Katara is sleeping, put ham and/or other lunchmeat on her face. Take a picture and send it to me! (You have serious guts if you do this. Me? I'm a wimp, therefore, I won't ever do it. I just thought it would be aweseome.)
16. Give Katara a block of cheddar cheese still in the unopened wrapper. Make sure the wrapper cannot be opened. Eventually, she'll scream, 'THIS CHEESE DOESN'T WANT TO BE EATEN!' (Note, Katara may enter one of her PMS episodes, so don't be alarmed if it occurs.)
17. Turn Katara into a squirrel, minus the rabid-ness, and lock her underneath a clothes hamper.
18. Make Katara dance the Soulja Boy dance. 'Nough said. Again.
19. Hypnotize Katara to think that she's Oprah. Why Oprah, you ask? Why anyone else?
20. Turn Katara into a Gangsta. Count how many times she says 'yo', 'hood' and 'da'. It's more work for you, but if you videotape every moment, all of it should pay off eventually. To the Internet!
21. Purchase Katara a SpiderPig from the Simpsons Movie. Make sure that she sings the song, too. (Note, videotape and/or record every moment of this.) (Another note, send it to me.)
22. When Katara is being egotistical, say, 'yea? You think you're ALL that and a bag of potato chips. Well, I'M a bag of Skittles! So taste my rainbow!' (Note, be sure to runaway from anyone who heard you and would like to eat you.)
23. Send Katara to a guidance counselor. Make sure the counselor is Iroh, but make sure she doesn't know. Eventually, when Katara confessed everything you needed to hear, tell her Iroh was indeed her counselor. Why do this? Well, when Katara wants the picture of tea, don't give it to her. (Note, if Hakoda and/or Sokka's in the room, give Katara the picture.)
24. Throw a tennis ball at Katara's head. (Note, do this when you're a track star and/or can fly.) If you were really outgoing, you'd throw a snowball at her the size of Appa. (Note, only do this when you KNOW you won't get caught.)
25. Run up to Katara and say, 'you mom!' And if Katara replies as 'wow I don't need ice,' you reply as 'your dog! Ooh! I bet NOW you need some ice!' And if you get her to reply as, 'no, I don't,' walk away in defeat and start singing Follow the Yellow Brick Road when really, you're walking down a cement road.
26. Get a song from High School Musical in her head. This'll allow you to get back at her for not going with your burning-ness.
27. Make Katara eat orange foods. She hates the color orange. How do I know this? I don't.
28. Do a reenactment of Charlie the Unicorn. Make sure Katara's Charlie. (Note, videotape and put on Internet. Send it to me.) (Another note, make sure you edit out all of the scenes when Katara is entering a PMS episode. We always see that.)
29. Make Katara do the Cha Cha Slide for an entire night. See how many times she'll do it when you turn the music off.
30. Make Katara date Buzz Lightyear. Why? What another character from Toy Story other than Jessie would she date?
31. Get the song, 'Baby It's Cold Outside' in Katara's head. Whenever she sings it aloud, state, 'well no duh, it's winter!'
32. Ask Katara if he remembers the day when Pluto was a planet. If he has no idea what you're talking about, simply stare blankly until she leaves. (Note, if she never leaves, make sure you put A LOT of eye drops in your pocket.)
33. Convince Katara that muffins are ugly cupcakes. Send her to the next Muffin Club meeting.
34.Ask Katara if Mayonnaise is an instrument.
35. Call her Sugar Queen (A/N: I TOTALLY forgot this one! That just shows you how observant I am towards Katara!)
36. Tell loud and obnoxious Yo Mamma jokes in front of her. (A/N: I'd actually tell Yo Mamma jokes that revolve around her, but either way would be great!)
37. If she ever asks you how she looks, start acting like your trying not to laugh and say 'you're pretty'.
38. Wake her up at two in the morning screaming then when she calms u down say u woke her up to ask her if she has any toothpaste.
39. Try to feed the back of her head a carrot. (A/N: What did I tell you? She hates orange foods!)
-InoShikaCho-
40. Poke her every second on the second.
41. Ask her how her relationship with herself is going. (Note, be sure to see a counselor once you asked her this.)
42. Tell her to get a hobby other than flirting with girls. (Note, be sure to be a track star when you say this. It'll come in handy. Trust me.)
43. Ask her how to use a toaster.
44. Get her hooked on D.D.R.
45. Get her convinced that Mr. Dynamite is hott.
46. Ask her what she would do for a Klondike Bar.
47. Tell Katara that gum wrappers at the way to go to become a real Gangsta.
48. Show Katara the amazing world of peanut butter.
49. Tell her that hair loopies are so out of season.
50. Tell her that she scares little children.
51. Tell her that since she acts so motherly, her "children" want to be orphans.
52. Dress up as Katara and tell children Santa isn't real. Then, when midget protesters come at your door, give Katara's address. (Note, when the children come to your door, you're not in your Katara disguise.)
53. Get Sokka high off of sugar. Lock Katara and Sokka in the same closet (or freezer) for a long, long time.
54. Tell Katara to poke the Pillsbury doughboy's belly. (Note, the Pillsbury doughboy hates getting his belly poked.) (Another note, how do I know this? I don't.)
55. Convince Katara to go out with Waldo.
56. Tell Katara to use the term 'Getter Done'.
57. Convince Katara Elmo is the enemy. Then take her down the Elmo isle at Toys 'R Us.
58. Say 'the snack that smiles back' to Katara after everything she says. (Note, do not laugh whenever you say it. It's supposed to confuse her.)
59. Convince Katara her catch phrase is 'so fetch'.
60. Put Katara in one of those Playschool toy cars. Send her to Pimp My Ride.
61. Tell Katara the honest, yet depressing truth that she doesn't have a last name.
62. If Katara tells you that other characters other than Toph don't have a last name, disagree. Keep disagreeing until she falls into one of her many PMS episodes.
63. Buy anti-PMS pills. Show them to Katara, and if she starts demanding them, give them to Mai. (They both need it.) Anyway, after giving Mai the pills, let nature take its course as they both start a catfight in the street.
64. Steal Katara's diary then write 'I LOVE TOPH' in it with hearts, swirlys, and with a pink, fuzzy pen. Show it to Toph.
65. Convince Katara that Master Pakku only taught her the skills of Waterbending because she's his girlfriend's granddaughter.
66. While continuing the conversation of Pakku, tell Katara the only reason why she wears her mother's necklace is because she wants to go out with "The Master".
67. Tell Katara what Pakku is REALLY the Master of… (Note, do not do this without adult supervision. Or ask your neighbor's cat. That'll work too.)
68. Show Katara ALL the fanfictions that pair her with Toph, Momo, Appa, Sokka's sword, Sokka's master, Jet, Master Pakku, Smellerbee, Lo and/or Li, and, of course, Ozai.
69. Send out a raid of Zutara fan girls to attack her at midnight for leaving Zuko in Season Two's finale. (Note, if you find me there, don't forget to say hi.)
70. Throw sugar cubes at Katara at yell 'Sugar Queen' over and over and over again.
71. Cut Katara's hairloopies the night before her date with one of the many people she's paired with. (Note, do not do this when it's Zutara's night. If you do, I will haunt you for the next eternity and beyond.) (Another note, you may cut the hair loopies when she's going out with herself.)
72. Dress Katara like a man. Then get a screenshot of her on the show looking really surprised. Type 'I'm a man?!?!?!' on it and compare it to her initial reaction. (Note, the screenshot and reaction should be the same.) (Another note, NEVER show Katara the screenshot.)
73. Sign Katara up for at talent show under the name of 'Sugar Queen'.
74. Have a stupid, gullible kid come to Katara and ask her, 'if you're the Sugar Queen, where's your castle?'
75. After having Katara explain the whole 'Sugar Queen' concept, have the kid kick Katara in the shin then run away to their 7 foot tall father. Katara won't deny she's not the 'Sugar Queen' again. (Note, have the kid point and laugh at Katara while standing by their dad.) (Another note, if you don't know any man 7 feet tall, ask Sokka to stand on a box.)
76. Get Katara to have 'Fergalicious' in her head. (Note, after a while, she'll start singing the song as 'Katarlicious' and switch the lyrics so that they match to her personality.)
77. Have Katara try to convince the other girls of Avatar to make a girl band called 'The Backstreet Girls'. (Note, laugh at Katara when she gets denied by every girl except for Ty Lee.)
78. Pour water on her to see if she is the real 'Sugar Queen' and see if she dissolves.
-Dove1593- (My bestest best buddie)
Author's Note: Which character shall I annoy now? Please leave your oppinion! (I'm going to be sympathetic and give Katara a little break.)
Another Author's Note: I've been noticing A LOT of people disaggreeing with the guide. There have been people stating 'Toph is blind' quite recently. And personally, I feel that you have to go 'out of character' to have humor. Don't throw flames in my face for having an opinion, alright? It's a free country, I can clutch onto my freedom just as everyone else can.